We saved our board - now does anyone fancy a tea room or cocktail bar type thread for general chit chat about teens

[FleetwoodStorms]

That don't really warrant a thread of their own?

Apologies if it seems twee but there used to be a few virtual tea rooms popular on MN back when it were all fields round here so i thought I'd give it a go. Have name changed in case i attract only tumbleweed

I have one DD(14), very easy going (yes, i know that can change in the blink of an eye!). Although she's friendly she doesn't seem to have found her tribe yet. Anyone else's teen in a similar position? She's issued some invitations for half term but not had much response.

How will your teen/s be spending this week? (it's ok to say if they have lots of meet-ups with friends )

One of mine just finished end of yr exams and has a few bits on w friends inc two bday parties. Her social life is still up and down but sometimes that is her not being arsed. Usually more ‘up’ though and has def found her tribe now thankfully. Took a while!!
Ds has his exams after half term and will be mostly revising, much to his disgust. Has had a couple of nice days with us and friends already but now has to knuckle down.
I found 13-14 not to be an easy age for friendships - thankfully my DCs are older now and seem to have past that stage.

Mine is revising - A levels start for her next Monday

Mine will be on the Xbox and doing sports with sporty mates. Revision may feature somewhere once the pigs have learnt to fly.

Mine has just one week left being teenage. I thought about it yesterday as I was admitted on BH Monday all those years ago with high BP and stayed there.
Lots of things I would have done differently, but all-in-all, pretty good!

14yr old dd.

Also not found her tribe, she swings between liking her friends and strongly disliking them

No plans with friends this week because she is revising. She told me last night she cannot be bothered with revision. This from a person who usually is soooo motivated (think A star/9 grades).

I think we have hit teenager stage

Don't get me started in egocentric nature of all conversations ☹️

Couple of days ago I agreed to take my teen somewhere. Yesterday he announced he'd arranged it but hadn't checked with me so I refused to take him, he got a lift with his friend instead. I'm not being an on call taxi driver

Oh 13/14 year old friendships are just the pits. We had a brief happy period late 15 and most of 16 where dd got into some friendship groups and began socialising. Unfortunately it quickly became focused on house parties and booze by mid 16. Too much too fast I think. The friendships fizzled out from 17 and dd actually fell pregnant and is now an 18 year old mum to a gorgeous little boy.
She is doing a wonderful job but is understandably finding life pretty hard now.
Sorry- not exactly light weight teen stuff here. 😬

Thank you for replies! The MN tea rooms of yesterday used to serve up lemon drizzle cake and lattes but we're at the teenage stage so too cool for that 😃

I've got to pop into work for a couple of hours so am leaving DD slumbering.

Good idea for a thread!

DD16 is in the midst of GCSEs, so far reasonably calm and organised. Week off for half term then back into it for two more weeks.

DS12 m, not quite a teen but fast approaching is packing for a week long school trip to France leaving tomorrow morning.

I don’t understand floraloctopus you’d agreed to take him but them refused?

Mine is revising for gcse exams. Has had a few bad exams so far and some good. DD (16) is a good kid but has been badly bullied at a girls school about being too thin etc. She has had a few major breakdowns this holiday. She has very few reliable friends and like OP invitations have come to nothing. She is desperately lonely and just needs one or two solid friendships. She definitely hasn’t found her tribe.

She is going to college in September if she gets the grades but is now nervous about everything. It’s really knocked her confidence. It’s hard to know what to do for the best. She doesn’t have any hobbies or a part time job yet so I guess that could be a solution. She used to have a few good friends when she volunteered but they have all gone their separate ways now. The trouble is she has just lost all confidence in herself.

She has had one toxic friend who tells all sorts of lies and I think has caused her problems by saying untrue things to others. I bet these mean girls and their comments never give DD another thought, have they got any idea of the psychological effect they have on another’s life?

This experience, especially in Y 11 I worry will scar my DD for life and affect her confidence about relationships in the future. I really wish I had contacted the school but it’s too late now, and DD didn’t want that. It’s almost like the whole year have turned on the weak friendless girl (chicken) and pecked and pecked away at her. It’s the only way to describe it.
She gets on really well with adults and younger children just not her own year group.

Dd14 just staggered downstairs clearly having just woken up mumbled something and wandered off.

Great idea for a thread :) My DD is also 14 and very much like yours Fleetwood. She hangs around with a big group at school but struggles to find people just like her. She also finds it hard to get people to hang out with her outside of school which is sad because she is so desperate to do things. She wanted to go up to Camden today but noone would go with her. I'm at work and she is at home so hopefully she is revising as there are end of year exams starting the day they go back. Currently she is very excited about the weekend as I am taking her and a friend to see BTS at Wembley which looks like it will be a whole day event (mainly spent in queues for "merch"). Can't wait!

My DS is 14 and quite a quirky character. He is dyspraxic and along with being a clumsy bugger he does struggle with too much social time. He has found his tribe and they are all equally quirky and nerdy. They are all gamers so he has not left the house since he left a friends on friday evening. He is going to watch endgame again this week though. As long as he dkes some jobs round the house, tidys his room and gets some exercise i don't push him too much.

DD 12 is in the popular ish tribe and trying to navigate the queen bee . Luckily some of her ore senaible friends are too a d are enjoying some more wholesome activities this holiday. She is happy at home though amd will still come out for cake with me and her granparents. Just about.

Sorry to hear that clopper :( I know what you mean about wishing you had contacted the school earlier - my DD was bullied and excluded by most of her form from pretty much the start of year 7. She never wanted me to say anything so we just supported her at home and tried to build up her confidence. The school figured out there were issues and did deal with quite a lot of it. I wish I'd stepped in earlier and had her moved into another form but she kept saying it would be worse. It's generally ok now as she found ways to cope and places to go. Most of her form still ignore her but since she is in different sets to most of them it hasn't been an issue. I think we had no choice but to listen to her really so thinking back I'm not sure I would have done much differently. It's very hard though!

Hi my dd is 15..will probably be spending her week on fortnite and home work..fitting a small amount of time with actual friends..shes getting on well at school.my concern is she has no idea what path to take career wise or after school. Or is this just normal?

DD (17) hasn't found her tribe yet either. We were discussing this last night as she is a lot more mature than her peers and has been since primary school. She had one invite for half term but then the friend invited her boyfriend along too so DD made her excuses. Thankfully she has exams after after half term so revision/homework is keeping her occupied.

I also have an incredibly quiet DS (14) who has his little group of close friends but no real tribe. He's not one of the cool kids at his school because he doesn't play rugby. He's also supposed to be revising this week but keeps getting distracted by the Xbox. I've organised a couple of days of tennis camp for him.

My Ds14 will spend most of his time on his PS4, but it's where all his friends are so I don't mind. He struggled with friends when he first started secondary and now he's in his room chatting and laughing online so I'm happy.

He also likes to make videos and write rap songs, and had a friend over yesterday to do that.

Ds(12) will spend his time out on his scooter with a bunch of friends or playing fortnite/Minecraft online with the same bunch. Him and a friend also took themselves off for a long bike ride at the weekend.

They're both going on a sleepover tonight and I'm just planning which restaurant me and DH can hit tonight

Another one with GCSE revisers here. I have DD and DSS both supposed to be revising this week. DD has actually railed in her overactive social life and is doing a lot of revision, though has quite a few gaps to fill where she never paid attention understood something the first time round. DSS meanwhile is relaxed in the extreme and considers half an hour a day to be quite adequate . He's bright but won't do as well as he could if he did some revision.

Sorry to hear about all your DD with friendship fallouts and bullying. They sound so like me at that age. I never wanted my parents to say anything to the school as I felt it would make it worse. What really helped was when I managed to get some different friends out of school and realized there was nothing wrong with me and I was likeable! It also stopped once I went to sixth form. It does knock your confidence and tbh I did feel it wasn't until my mid 20s that I'd entirely put it behind me. DD is nothing like me though - confident, popular, very much clued up on things and in with the cool crowd. It's odd parenting a child so different to yourself. She gives me other challenges like hosting parties when we're out and buying expensive trainers on my credit card though . Things I would never have done as a teen.

Hi all! Joining as I have dd 13 . I also have dd 20, so I can give tips on how I survived

I'm in for a cream tea and a bottle of vodka for when needed

I've been through it once although apparently the brain is not adult until 25 now! Is this not just moving the goal posts?!

Me! I was part of a long running tea room chat on here many many moons ago...

I have ds aged 19 (so almost not a teen any more) and dd aged 16 currently sitting her GCSEs.
We have had the typical (and not so typical) teen dramas over the years - as well as many many joys! - and I'm sure there will be more to come.

Haven't read the tread yet, am off out shortly, but will do so when I get back (with a cuppa!)

Lots of things I would have done differently, but all-in-all, pretty good!

Good to hear it's turned out well Herocomplex - care to share what you would have done differently?

I would have worked harder getting DD to eat veg. She was a vegetable refuser from 18 months old and exists on carbs, protein and fat Sport keeps her slender - for now!

Sorry- not exactly light weight teen stuff here

No subject too heavy or trivial for the this tearoom, Isadora2007 - congratulations on your gorgeous grandson and best of luck to your DD

I remember the only child tearoom from years ago, great idea!
Mine is dd 15 and not much of a problem, though as others have said, the friendship thing can be awkward. She moved to her high school (am in Italy) last year, and immediately made group of lovely friends. They're still lovely, and all still friends. Only problem is that they are all in a different town to us, so until recently there have been times like half terms etc when dd has been on her own.
She's branching out, and been out with others from our town a few times but still at the stage where she feels she has to ask if she can join them. Fingers crossed it becomes more natural soon.

I have two teenage sons. Oldest is 19 and is now settled and working full time, he is trying to save enough money to pursue his dream career of a commercial pilot. He doesn't really cause us any worries now.

Youngest Ds is 14 and a bit more complicated he is currently being assessed for ASD. He is a constant worry. He has social communication issues, anxiety, rigid behaviour and sensory issues. And of course the normal teenage stuff too. He hates school who have been incredibly unhelpful and have offered very little help so far. There is a little bit more support in place for after half term. He is taking gcses next year and although very bright his grades are dropping because of his poor mental health. He can't understand the point of revision and thinks school work is for school and not home. He also doesn't have any friends, he has just started to attend a youth group for teenagers with ASD, he's not engaging with it much at the moment but hopefully things might improve. The next academic year will certainly have its challenges I think.

Happy to pop in for a cup of tea and a chat but maybe moan too!