We saved our board - now does anyone fancy a tea room or cocktail bar type thread for general chit chat about teens

[FleetwoodStorms]

That don't really warrant a thread of their own?

Apologies if it seems twee but there used to be a few virtual tea rooms popular on MN back when it were all fields round here so i thought I'd give it a go. Have name changed in case i attract only tumbleweed

I have one DD(14), very easy going (yes, i know that can change in the blink of an eye!). Although she's friendly she doesn't seem to have found her tribe yet. Anyone else's teen in a similar position? She's issued some invitations for half term but not had much response.

How will your teen/s be spending this week? (it's ok to say if they have lots of meet-ups with friends )

I'll grab some Early Grey and Orange & lemon

DD2 is reluctantly doing 1hr revision per day for y9 exams. She switches from loving and cooperative to grumpy and unenthusiastic. never know what I'm going to get!

DD1, now working, drives me up the wall. Yesterday 'Did I tell you I'm going to a wedding tomorrow?' No you didn't. Which you know full well. Actually turns out it's not a wedding but the evening reception.(Who gets married on a Tuesday?). Who for? No idea. 'a friend'. What she means is a friend she met via her BF. No longer has her own friends at all. If she and BF ever split she will be alone.

Anyway, at least DD2 has agreed activities for half term. Today is walk into town, Wed cinema, Thursday train to nearby city for lunch, Fri swimming. Otherwise it would be wall to wall TV, or losing half the day to deciding what she wanted to do.

Another one with a 14 year old dd. She had close friends at primary but although they all went to the same secondary school, the group imploded and dd has never found another tribe. She became friendly with one girl in yr8 but that girl went back to her old friends.

This has made dd very angry and aggressive, living with her is like treading on egg shells for all of us. My main problem is that’s she so rude to me and flips out, she told me she hated the sight of my face and to go and kill myself this week. I let her go to her room and slam the door as I didn’t want a big fight, especially in front of younger siblings.

I’ve avoided her ever since, cooked meals etc but nothing else as I’m so hurt. My dh took her out on a dog walk yesterday and said how bad her behaviour is and how hurt I am. I think she knows this but can’t back down. She’s always been angry but has gone into overdrive since secondary

Quite fancy a cup of Early Grey, sums up what DS1 does to my hair sometimes!
14 and generally a really lovely soul if also capable of being really daft sometimes.
It’s the lack of planning ahead that drives me utterly round the twist.

I'm in for a cup of tea and a cream scone . I have one very sociable 13yo who is currently procrastinating over year 9 exam revision. She seems to have a good tribe at the moment, but it can change so quickly. She tells me that the friend I previously thought of as admirably sensible spent the other evening running in front of cars and trying to climb onto a church roof, just for a laugh. Thankfully DD was disgusted and phoned for a lift home rather than join in.

DD1 is 16 and on the brink of year 12 exams and university open days. She is golden girl as far as her teachers are concerned but I see a lot of anxiety and wonder if she will buckle. Trying to help her find ways of helping her look after herself while I still have any influence.

Capybara that sounds hard for both of you..
If she can’t find a way to apologise can you hold an olive branch out? DS has had some terrible rages and he’s actually shocked himself I think.
I can remember being like this as well and feeling shit afterwards.

Clopper - how difficult it must be watching your DD suffer so much. I do hope that 6th form college will be a new start for her and she will thrive there. My friend's DD was bullied so much that her confidence was shot. So my friend hired a drama coach to teach her DD how to act confident - sort of fake it until you make it - and do lots of role play with her to anticipate and manage different encounters. It was a huge help and her DD is much happier.

I remember the only child tearoom from years ago - I was on there too, CanterburyWhales - what was the name of the hunky gardener?

Seeing as some of you are insisting on refreshments - I'll have a latte and a brownie!

15yr old dd. She is spending this week the same as every evening/weekend/holiday - locked in her room binge watching Netflix!
Haha ok not quite, for once, as she's actually redecorating her bedroom so all furniture etc is in the hallway, but if she wasnt doing that then it would be Netflix.
Apparently at school she's quite popular but rarely goes out and socialises during her free time. I cant complain too much, she is a good egg

My youngest DD is 17. She is exceptional academic and, hopefully, headed for great things. This is hard for DD1 who had a similar experience to @clopper's DD and has struggled through 6th form and uni, including a work experience year. She graduated last year and 🤞has finally settled into a job after a couple of false starts couple of arsehole bosses.

DD2 has changed schools for 6th form and it has been the making of her. Hasn't been plain sailing and the bitchy girls were out in force when she was appointed a prefect and they weren't. We're hoping that it will have all blown over during half-term.

It's a bit early for so mine's a cuppa and a virtual slice of coffee and walnut. Has to be virtual as we have a nut allergy in the house so RL has to be nut free.

Hi Folks. I was reading the other threads on teens at the weekend. Love to all who have posted on there going through tough times.

I have two currently doing exams atm - ds doing A levels and dd doing GCSEs, so as you can imagine we have had a few stressful moments recently.

With ds he's most of the time likable and a fairly laid back character but has no concept of time and is badly organized. He is also very hard to get up in the mornings but is currently waiting for an assessment for dyspraxia. He has never bothered about being popular, is comfortable in his own skin and is quite political and enjoys going on the climate protests. We are all hoping he gets the grades to go on to Uni.

Dd is quite a different personality. She has invested a lot of time and energy in the wrong people who have sadly let her down friendship wise. She was very popular but now says I am her only real friend which makes me sad. Too many boyfriends and all splitting up with her has knocked her confidence. Apart from briefly seeing a friend on Sunday, other than revising, when she used to be out all the time, she has no plans for half term.
Also she is going to Prom soon where two of the ex boyfriends are very loved up with new girlfriends - one being her ex best friend.( long story).
It's not been an easy year with her. Im hoping she will be happuer at sixth form and makes decent lial friends who value her.

One thing I can recommend , particularly for shy teens, is NCS. Ds loved his experience and I've signed up dd for this summer.

bringbacksideburns what is ncs?
Tia

TeenTimesTwo, one hour a day sounds pretty good for year 9 exams. Ds has not done anything again today. Not sure how to play it really. He needs a huge amount of guidance and support to get organised. His school think there are no problems with his organisation because I keep him afloat. I just wondering if the school need to see the reality a bit especially as he is being assessed at the moment.

He has the speaking and listening part of Gcse English coming up. He has to do a presentation to the class. Not great if you have communication issues. The school have told him he can do it one to one if he prefers. Unfortunately he has done no preparation, I think he thinks if it's not done then he can get out of it and avoid doing it completely. Not sure how to play it, do I step up and make a huge effort to help or allow him to go back with it not done. I want the school to know what's going on with him and where he is struggling but I'm aware he will get into trouble. I wish I understood how his mind worked.

Also she is going to Prom soon where two of the ex boyfriends are very loved up with new girlfriends - one being her ex best friend

Ouch! Part of me hopes that DD doesn't start dating until after GCSEs. Or better still A levels.

@bringbacksideburns I really feel for you and you dd but she is very lucky she has you to talk to about boys.
My dd has had a couple of horrible experiences with boys
First kiss was at 15 and they text for a while but he was very possesive and wanted her to travel 30 miles to see him he finished with her and then slapped her at a disco and videoed it and posted on social media.
I had to get police involved
2nd bf was a two timing little idiot, flirted with other girls all the time and posted photos on his fbook and igram profiles with other girls.
Thankfully she is now with a lovely boy
Best advice is tell her to hold her head high and kiss a few frogs the right one will come along just have fun and not get to serious.
Girls can be so cruel

Sorry! Nipped to the bank.

NCS : www.ncsyes.co.uk/

Thanks Mcmen. She's been boyfriendless now for 6 months and concentrating on her studies. It was very hard last year but she joined a gym and that seems to have helped focus her. I'm paying for it but it's worth it and has helped when she feels down and gets her out of the house.

I was very lucky. I have had the
same best friend since i was 11 and her friendships have been quite toxic. Absolutely no ' girl code' or loyalty. She's a strong girl though and will get through it.

You're not wrong to hope for no boyfriends for a few years Fleetwood. DD's first bf decided to dump her (because she preferred hanging out with other friends and couldn't be bothered to come and see him, so not entirely unreasonably...) But he was too spineless to tell her himself, or even to text her so instead just told everyone else they'd split up. DD heard it secondhand :(

God, I wouldn't want to be 15 again!

DS on the other hand is 19 and has a 17 year old GF who he's utterly loved up with. She's sweet and lovely and I'd be very happy if they started together.

stayed together, not started that should have read

Dd is 18 and revising (hopefully) dealing with her wanting to go drinking too much - her older sister never did so I wasn't prepared

Hello everyone. Can I join in? I'm in a slightly unique position in that my dd is in a different country to me - she lives with my Mum, I work in London.

For those of you with shy kids who have been bullied, I saw this clip before. If you don't want to watch the whole 7 minutes, skip to about 5 minutes in, where they role play. It's really cool. It's how to stop a bully. He has a few clips on it.

DD is 14 and doing end of 2nd year exams this week. They finish up for the year soon. She is supposedly studying, but is more likely to be found fooling around with her guitar or putting on a face mask.

She is involved in loads of extracurricular stuff - primarily music and dance.

We had the mother of all arguments during the week as she wouldn't speak to me on the phone so I gave her a bollocking. It culminated in me screaming at her like a 2 year old and she screaming at me. Not my finest moment. She's not talking to me now. This is the second time in her life that we've ever fallen out. I didn't cover myself in glory. Think 'Look at all I've given up for you - you ungrateful brat!' As I said, I was out of order and have apologised - though she's still giving me the silent treatment - conveniently during her exams as she knows I'll be badgering her to study

She's a really good kid. Not terribly academic - a B student mainly. Not brilliant at sports, but still makes the teams and enjoys it. She'll never be a Straight A student, nor a Sportsperson of the year, but she appears to be quite popular. She has more friends between school and her other activities than I've had hot dinners.

She's very happy. Where she lives means that her friends are scattered around the county. None of her friends live in her village. So it involves being driven here and there so sleepovers are quite the thing.

Just back to my original paragraph - I find people are merciless in their judgment of mothers working away from home, whereas Dads go unjudged. It's annoying sometimes and seen as unnatural.

DD has kissed a boy or boys, refuses to elaborate. Don't think she has a boyfriend though. You're lucky your girls talk to you! Mine tells me nothing. Has always been the same - since she started primary school.

I don’t understand floraloctopus you’d agreed to take him but them refused?

No, not exactly. I agreed to take him somewhere at some point the next day but had somebody coming round at 2pm which he knew about. About an hour before 2pm he told me he'd arranged to go to X at 2pm but hadn't asked me if 2pm was convenient so I told him I couldn't take him.

We've had a stressed morning here, turns out DS is worrying about exams and not doing well enough in the end of year exams to do the higher GCSE paper.

Hello, I'll join you. My youngest son is just 19.

He's a good kid, he gives us less grief now than when he was at school and I was getting phone calls almost weekly informing me that he'd got a detention (they were for failing to get work done mostly, he hated school with a passion from years 8 to 10). It's just more worrying now as he's driving, and all of his friends have cars so they meet up on various car parks or drive around in convoy. I worry myself sick when he's late home.

He's just finished a three year college course which he's done very well at (school wasn't for him but he's enjoyed his course) and is now applying for jobs in that field but in the mean time he has a part time supermarket job.

He's got a really lovely girlfriend, they've been together for 6 months now. Not sure how that'll pan out though as she's off to university in September and the one she'll be at is a five hour drive away!

Aw Madison, expect a 19 year old broken heart in a few months time!

It's great there are college courses for the less academic here. I know mechanics, plumbers, carpenters who are millionaires, while the rest of us struggle with our desk jobs!

I think mine will be a tiny bit broken too Docker, she's such a sweet girl! If I'd had to choose a girlfriend for him, she would've been the one.

I agree, I look at the largest houses on our close (with the top of the range Mercs and BMWs on the drives) and they're the houses where the tradesmen live. It's engineering that he's studied at college, and apparently there's a skill shortage in that industry so hopefully he'll get a job before too long.

Most engineers/IT I know are self employed and earn about 1k a day as consultants or self employed. It's crazy money. I earn less than 2k a month!