We saved our board - now does anyone fancy a tea room or cocktail bar type thread for general chit chat about teens

[FleetwoodStorms]

That don't really warrant a thread of their own?

Apologies if it seems twee but there used to be a few virtual tea rooms popular on MN back when it were all fields round here so i thought I'd give it a go. Have name changed in case i attract only tumbleweed

I have one DD(14), very easy going (yes, i know that can change in the blink of an eye!). Although she's friendly she doesn't seem to have found her tribe yet. Anyone else's teen in a similar position? She's issued some invitations for half term but not had much response.

How will your teen/s be spending this week? (it's ok to say if they have lots of meet-ups with friends )

Hello BadgerBadgerMushroom technology has certainly changed how friends communicate hasn't it! Although even when they actually get together they spend much of the time looking at their phones.
I've noticed that with our 22 year old and his girlfriend. Both graduated university last year and moved back home, she lives just over an hour away so they only see each other at weekends (although they were at a concert last night so she stayed over). When they're both sat here though, usually watching Netflix and wondering where we're going to take them and treat them to lunch/coffee/drinks (don't get me started on that one!!), they're usually staring at their screens.

Oh, I thought we'd seen the end of the X Box when our 19 year old sold his and all games a year or so ago.
Until he walked in with a PS4 last month.

I think sometimes our children actually know us as well as we know them in some ways

Oh yes

DD's never been interested in computer games but loves Netflix and YouTube.

We're going shopping today - DD needs another bikini!

Do your teens have a positive or negative body image? DD is pretty confident about the way she looks at this stage in her life We've had lots of chats about how there are whole industries dedicated to making you feel shit about yourself so they can flog you stuff to feed your insecurities.

She just has to remember this for the rest of her life!

Yes, dd seems fairly body confident.

@MadisonAvenue haha tell me about it. Half the time they send GIFs to each other while sat in the same room! I'm hoping my DSD becomes a bit more confident in herself bless her. DP says we should just give her practice but in a world where you can buy everything online and scan your own shopping without talking to another human it's easier said than done.

After a promising start, footfall seems to have fallen in our start-up cafe!

I'm leaving some croissants and muffins on the counter whilst I take DD to sports training. Hopefully someone will be along to put the kettle on ...

My dd seems much more confident body wise than I was at 16. She's very into the Gym and likes cooking healthily for all the family most nights at the moment , which I'm happy for her to do after the long trek home from work every night!

At the moment she wants a pierced nose and belly button. I've told her she can get the nose done after GCSEs.

They have far more pressure on them now than I ever did with social media and filtered 'perfect' photos.

She's having eyelash extensions done for the Prom. I didn't even know they existed - thought you just stuck false eyelashes on!

She is also definitely far more into make up than i ever was. She's got tons of the stuff. I think i had something like 1 blue eyeliner, pink lip gloss and 1 mascara throughout my whole teens in the Eighties

I'll have a croissant with jam thanks!

sideburns Your DD sounds quite like mine. I also said she could wait until she was 16 for a nose piercing but she just walked into a tattoo parlor looking confident I think and asked for a nose piercing and they did it! She was 14 then. I looked it up and it appears there's no legal limit other than for genital piercing, though most reputable places I think won't do an under 16 without a parent. I think DD just appeared older.

Today she's been breaking up GCSE revision with bleaching her hair. It has, as I told her it would, gone more ginger than blond. But I've decided that it's her body and she can do what she likes with her appearance. I'll pick my battles (and she gives me plenty others to fight....)

Does this cafe do alcohol by the way?

firefliess sideburns my dd has an earing sitting on her nose as i dont allow her get pierced just waiting fir the day she comes in with it done😈 and was in shop today she said can i get a blonde dye for my hair 😃😃😃 no I told her she could have it done for formal in nov teens they always want something 😅

Does this cafe do alcohol by the way?

You called

DD adores make-up and thanks to watching 50,000 tutorials on YouTube is very skilled at applying it. Back in the day I had a similar makeup collection to bringbacksideburns - with the addition of a chubby blusher stick for applying thick pink streaks along my cheekbones!

Back to school tomorrow!

Yes - she had a strop earlier because she doesn't have an exam until Tuesday but school expect her to attend for 5 hours tomorrow anyway. She was complaining they can't access wi fi and she would prefer to stay at home and study if we let her , but we had a letter to say all need to attend revision etc if teachers request it. I told her she needs to discuss it with her teacher.

Now she's gone up in another bit of a strop simply because I wanted to sit on my part of the sofa and she didn't want to move.

Ah well! It's going to be a long two weeks of mood swings until school is over for good.

Might have a small rum and coke as i'm actually off work tomorrow.

D's has his A level English tomorrow but seems fine and has been doing a lot of reading today.

Is there room for one more in the tea room? I have dd1 13-we we're getting on really well until about two weeks ago when she flipped.
She can't stand to speak to me at the moment and is barely civil.
I've no idea what I've done-I don't think anything Except not being one of her friends Mums who of course are much cooler than me 🙄.

She just got back from a week away with her Dad-was really looking forward to seeing her. She chatted a bit when she got back but later became very surly.

I'm trying not to push too much or react to it. It's bloody hurtful though!

Dd2 is 12 and just roles her eyes at her sister. How long before she starts I wonder?
😕

It's dd2's Birthday soon and dd1 is already moaning because she is jealous of her presents. Her birthday is later in the year and she will get the exact same spent on her. Again I'm not reacting-we've always had this around Birthdays (with one or the other). I thought she would have grown out of it by now though...

Best wishes for a happy week all-it's exam week here so I fear we might not be in for a great week!

Makes tea ☕️
Brings wine 🍷

I had 8 x 15 year olds in my lounge, Saturday night, for the Champions League final, sleepover. Good god they were loud. Even at 4 am watching the Anthony Joshua fight.

I was cream crackered.
Ds1 announced 'never again' and that 'hosting was a lot harder work than he'd predicted'.

DD starts her end of year exams today (year 9). She was doing so well revising then started slipping in the last half of the holidays. She knew she had to spend most of yesterday studying after we went to a concert on Saturday night. But she was completely monotone and staring blankly most of yesterday so we got really cross with her. By the late afternoon she perked up and got stuff done. It's annoying as these exam results will be used to put her into sets for her GCSE courses in maths and science so she really needed to pull her finger out (especially as she doesn't want to get stuck in a low set with the kids who play up and are loud all the time as she suffers a lot in that environment). Oh well what's done is done. Fingers crossed! Speaking of which she had a meltdown at 8.15am today when we had just left the house and she remembered that her nail varnish was still on (she would get put in isolation for wearing it) so it was panic stations trying to get it all off in time! Glad I'm at work so I can relax

I've no idea what I've done-I don't think anything except not being one of her friends Mums who of course are much cooler than me

Come and sit down next to me on the Uncool Mums table, historysock - it's rather full but we can always make room for one more. The Cool Mums are over there on their table for one

Titsywoo - isolation seems an extreme consequence for wearing nail varnish.

Best wishes to all taking end of year exams and 'O' levels (as I call them to wind DD up) and 'A' levels.

I have a 14 year old dd. I freely admit that I have been anxious about letting her do things independently, not because she's a naughty kid, just anxious about her safety!
Anyway I've made great progress and she's been getting the bus to town with her friend and doing other bits.
She has a fairly new friend, I don't know her parents but she seems nice enough. Have let dd sleepover there despite be uneasy as I don't know them. It's been ok. Anyway, the one thing I've told my dd I don't want her to do is hang around in a field where this girl lives. Dd promises she won't and hasn't but I have seen photos on her phone (she knows I look) which show she has been doing this.
I feel so disappointed that she's lied and done something I've asked her not to. She knows my reasons.
I know compared to other teen issues this is small stuff but I've been knocked a bit!
Prior to this friend she probably wouldn't have done this. Haven't had chance to discuss with dd yet.....
Just wanted to put it down. Feel really rubbish 🙁

Is there a table for fat, frumpy and embarrassing mums? That's mine!

DS seems to have fairly good body confidence at the moment much to my relief, get away with him and his washboard stomach. I think he might be over it as I leaned over to tickle him last night when he was trying to get out of the room without doing a job and was told to get off his impressive abs . I'll have him know that I have impressive abs too, so precious that they have their own cushioned protection.

He's stressed about the exams and doesn't want to go out any evening this week so he can revise.

Mincepies I'd be disappointed in your situation. Can you approach it from the 'why do you think I didn't want you to' question and discuss it with her? (easier said than done, I know)

I'll have him know that I have impressive abs too, so precious that they have their own cushioned protection

Mincepies76 - tomorrow I'm going to try and post links to a few Radio 4 programmes about the teenage brain that might give us some insight as to why our DC sometimes lie/strop/weep/take scary risks etc. Might help some of us understand/tackle issues with our teens.

Thanks Flora (don't know how to tag you!!)
I will ask her why she's doing this. I wonder if she wanted me to know I.e. leaving the pictures on her phone when she knows I look.
Also found a message on dd phone from this girl about me and it wasn't polite!
Dh and I have decided she won't be allowed to friends house. Friend can come to us. Probably won't go down well but trust is lost 😐

Excuse me while I dither between the frumpy & embarrassing and the totally uncool tables. I think DS 14 has found his tribe - sporty but not yet into partying.

Half-term was three days doing his sport and a sleepover with one friend. Only interacted with other friends on games/social media. Yr10 exams were before the break and he thinks this will be a usual winding down last half-term. I'm hoping school has other plans!

Thanks Fleetwood I'll look out for that

Freesia Your DS and mine are members of the same tribe. Long may that continue.