Holding on to the end of the rope; life in the bunker with the Po Ts, where parenting a teen is having an adverse effect on our mental health

[Pegsinarow]

With thanks to Billybagpuss for inspiration for the title and to Ticklingcheese and many other parents of teens who are emerging from the worst, or currently going through it, this is a support thread for parents who are being driven to despair by their teens. It is a continuation of this previous thread where many of us clubbed together to exchange experiences, possible strategies and understanding of what can be a very draining, isolating and distressing time for all!

Tin hats on everybody for round two!

Hi all sorry I've been away from the thread for a while, we have just found out DH has prostate cancer.

Wishing you all the best and keep those tin hats polished.

I will go and have a read through later on.

@billybagpuss so sorry to hear the news off your dh puts other problems sound trival when there is an illness.
Hugs to you xx

Sorry to hear of everyone’s updates. Very sad @billybagpuss - all the best to your DH.

@Tarrarra and @mcmen71 - I really feel for you both. Some serious attitude problems from your DCs.

@Tarrarra - You might want to try asking him why you shouldn’t sell the festival tickets are that stunt. His answer could be interesting.

@mcmen71 - if you asked why she felt it was ok to inconvenience so many people you’d probably get the standard response of ‘I didn’t ask them to bother’, so I don’t know how you make her realise how wrong her behaviour is. Might be a case of picking your moment for when she really expects you to put your self out for her and for you to just ignore until it’s too late. But you could be in for a melt-down to have to cope with.

@billybagpuss so sorry to hear about your dh. Wishing you strength and him all the best. xxx

Still no sign of ds and his phone still off/uncharged.... starting to panic.

@tarrarra, really sorry to hear what your DS is putting you through. Do you know which friend it is? Can you ring around? It’s not fair that he has done this, you need to know where he is.

@Fleetheart, I don't know this friend at all. I have texted one of his other friends and hope that he can get in touch. I know the road name she lives on but not the number and it's a long road.... Will give it till 7ish then start driving up and down this road I guess looking for clues.

I really feel for you @tarrarra; I hate it when my DS does not contact me like this. I have asked him to keep his location on his phone but he won’t. They really just don’t get it that we may actually care do they?

Hopefully one of his friends can give you a clue....

@Tarrara....I'm sure he's going to be back soon, ping us when he is back.....we are all worrrying. They are vulnerable at this age out there ....but they just don't see it as such - invincible right?
@Billybagpuss - bloody hell thats sobering. Do you know the prognosis and treatment plan yet? Please don't assume the worst. The staging of cancers is critical and there are many many men out there walking about as very happy prostate cancer survivors! But I know the anxiety very well. I've been through it 3 times. Be relieved that he has caught it right now....the NHS generally are good at cancer, he will be in good hands. Thinking of you! 💐 Keep posted and tell us what's going on..,,want to hold your hand!

Billy so sorry to hear about your DH. I hope the treatment sorts it.

I hope your DS turns up soon Tarrara

Why is it that when the DCs are near us they are glued to their phones, but when they go out they are unable to answer or find a charger?

No news yet. DH and I have turned Columbo, and found a doodle with the girl's name and surname on it and I've then done a facebook search, found someone with the right name, found a mutual friend to get me her number and I have texted her. No response. Now asking all friends if they know the address so i can go round...

Well done @tarrarra, you will be able to track her down now, hope you find him soon.

Well done @Tarrarra. I’d definitely be selling his festival tickets now.

Hope you find him soon. And he’s safe.

I’m so sorry to hear that @billybagpuss. Hope a plan emerges soon. Such a shock. And hope @Tarrarra ‘s ds reappears- I had this with my 13 y o yesterday. He rolled in totally calm ‘had my phone on airplane mode to save battery’. Today he has wished me dead so hard it’s like having a witch in the house. (I mentioned french vocabulary...)

Girl has replied "he's with me and is ok". I've replied that he needs to come home now or should I come and get him now and no response...

Unbelievable. That would boil my blood! But at least you know he is ok😊

Good @Tarrara....at least you know his whereabouts ...now just need to reel him in! Glad he's safe.

@billybagpuss so sorry. Whats the plan of action? Online hugs.

@Tarrarra I hope he is now home.

Stop press here. I got a (brief) hug from DS. Im trying to step back a bit.

Sorry Bagpuss-really am X-sending lots of love...

Hope he is now back Tarrara.

Pots he is home, upset that I've tried to find him, angry that I contacted friends and stressed as have made him feel bad...

He rocked in at 10 stinking of dope and looking like shit claiming he overslept and his phone was out of charge. Can't talk to him anymore.

tarrarra gladcto hear your ds is home. Probably best you both go to bed and talk in the morning
I got dd home sat nite about 2am and got her up at 7.30 in the morning as i was awake all night going through her phone.

@tarrarra, so glad he is home. You are absolutely justified in asking his friends where he was as he did not tell you. Common courtesy to let someone know where you are , you would have done the same if your DH did not come home and hadn’t told you where he was. These teens seem to think they are in a different world .

@MrsBlondie. A hug?!? Amazing!

Good morning!

I am sorry to have been AWOL for the past couple of days - have a guest staying - and more builders arriving in half an hour. Not a good combo!

💐 Just wanted to say to Billy that I am so sorry to hear your news about your DH. I hope he is ok and they have caught it early. Wishing him (and you) lots of love and strength with everything that is to come. Thinking of you lots xxxx

Need to dash right now but bbl to catch up with all the tales of missing teens! Hang in there Po TS!