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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD15 sleepover with no parents present

113 replies

maloofhoof · 09/03/2019 16:08

DD15 is due to go to her friends tonight for a sleepover along with another friend. After speaking to one of the parents I've been told neither mum or dad will be home tonight and that the friends 19 yr old brother will be there to supervise. I'm really not comfortable with this, and had no idea until now that this was the plan. Would you let your 15 year old still go?

OP posts:
multiplemum3 · 09/03/2019 16:08

I would, I regularly stayed home alone at 15 so it wouldn't be a big deal to me.

peppersprayfirstapologiselater · 09/03/2019 16:09

15! Definitely, unless she/the friend is extremely immature?

Original poster
maloofhoof · 09/03/2019 16:12

Even if the parents are out overnight rather than out for the evening?

OP posts:
Spooksandchocolatecake · 09/03/2019 16:13

It's fine in a year they can leave home

Original poster
maloofhoof · 09/03/2019 16:14

I'm happy to leave her and/or her 17 year old brother home alone but isn't that different to leaving 3 15yr old girls home alone overnight?

OP posts:
Alsonification · 09/03/2019 16:17

Definite no for me.

LovingLola · 09/03/2019 16:18

I would not be happy with that

Original poster
maloofhoof · 09/03/2019 16:23

I know this is drip feeding, but last year DD went to a birthday sleepover at the same house where all the girls camped in the back garden and when she got home she was upset because some of the girls had snuck out and gone to the park in the middle of the night.
To be clear, I trust my daughter, but I'm not naive and know I have to give her some space to make mistakes etc. However I also really don't trust 3 teenage girls together overnight with no supervision. If I let her go I'll be up all night worrying.

OP posts:
OpiesOldLady · 09/03/2019 16:25

Nope. I really wouldn't be happy.

RoseMartha · 09/03/2019 16:29

Trust your gut instincts. I would not let my dd go when she reaches 15 under those circumstances but she has additional needs so perhaps different.
How does your daughter feel about going with no parents present as she was anxious last time?

pinkhorse · 09/03/2019 16:32

Nope no way. I think there was a thread about this recently and the majority said no.

Original poster
maloofhoof · 09/03/2019 16:39

RoseMartha she claims she wasn't aware until I spoke to the parent that they would be supervised by the older brother. Though I'm aware that's highly improbable! I don't think she's anxious about it and she says she understands why I'm not happy with the situation. I've decided she's not going. She's upset but not too much.
I only found out this situation because I text the mum to confirm. Now wondering if the other girls mum knows and whether I should tell her.

OP posts:
CaseofEllen · 09/03/2019 17:10

Are you saying no because they're 15? Or because they're going to be supervised by 19 year old brother? If the brother wasn't there either would you let her go?

Original poster
maloofhoof · 09/03/2019 17:14

Yes I'm saying no because they're 15 with no parent there overnight.

OP posts:
AuntMarch · 09/03/2019 17:18

In a year she could join the army or get married, set up home and start a family.
What do you think would happen?

CaseofEllen · 09/03/2019 17:19

Fair enough @maloofhoof I think I would let her go but your house, your rules as they say! Glad she is not too upset and there is no big argument, I remember my awful attitude at 15 years old Blush

Drum2018 · 09/03/2019 17:20

No from me.

EvaHarknessRose · 09/03/2019 17:39

It sounds like you have given her a useful out from something that might have made her anxious, and she’s taken it. I would tell the other Mum ‘sorry, I’m not letting dd go because there won't be parents home, amd they all snuck off to the park last time - hope they still have a good time.’

Original poster
maloofhoof · 09/03/2019 17:40

AuntMarch well based on my own behavior at that age, drink alcohol (which I allow at home under supervision), have boys over, go out to hang around the local shops/park/canal until the early hours, drive around in older teens cars.

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 09/03/2019 17:41

No. No way.

DramaAlpaca · 09/03/2019 17:42

It would be a no from me.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 09/03/2019 17:45

I have a 15 year old son. Nfw from me.

Canshopwillshop · 09/03/2019 17:45

Don’t think I’d be happy with this. If it was me, I would invite the girls to my house for the sleepover instead.

bigandbumpy · 09/03/2019 17:47

Oh let her go. She sounds sensible enough. You can't mollycoddle her forever! I think your 15 year old needs to live a little especially as she got upset about her friends going to the park!! It's highly unlikely anything untoward will happen...keeping her back from these things will just put a distance with her friends.

Mmmmbrekkie · 09/03/2019 17:51

You will always always get mymsneyyera saying

Well I moved out when I was 16
They are able to vote/drive/have set etc
My child has been doing this for x number Of years

Fine. That works for you.
At 15 my parents were very much aware of where I was and who I was with. And they were strict. They wouldn’t have allowed this.

And the same will apply to my parenting. I would not allow this, especially given past events

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