Controlling SIL trying to stop DD having a house party

[mother2mother]

Dd is having a house party. By this I mean she's got a tone of cheap disco lights of amazon, she's borrowing a sound system, there's a mix being made and I've agreed that I'll buy beer and cider for the party so long as she contributes towards it (people who want to come have been giving donations). Anyway I'm on board as her friend has had similar parties (she borrowed some of the lights from her) and the worst that's happened is a tone of tired, sore throated teenagers having danced like idiots and sang all night. These do have reasonable turnouts by the way. She's asked for a midnight finish. Anyway I'm leaving the house (my sister lives less than 10 seconds away so it's not completely unsupervised). Anyway my SIL found out and has told DD it's not happening and she'll make sure of it.

She's told DD that if it does happen she'll come down, kick everyone out and take all the stuff used (speakers, lights, food, drinks etc). I know she won't do this she's all talk to action but DD is worried she will. DD is young 15 by the way and yes the guests parents know there will be alcohol.

By the way she is young 15. so should I tell SIL to f*ck off or should I cancel DD's party. And yes I'm taking precautions like upstairs locked off and anything remotely valuable (even something like a phone charger) will be removed from the bottom floor where the party is). Unless someone is incredibly strong or has a complex lock pick set no one outside DD will be able to get upstairs.

I don't think you can say:
I'm leaving the house (my sister lives less than 10 seconds away so it's not completely unsupervised)
But then expect your SIL not to intervene? If she's technically supervising then she does have every right to refuse the party. Particularly if it gets out of hand or.somrone reports underage drinking and she's "on watch".

Is it your sister or your SiL who is "supervising"? Why is she so against the party and why does she trump your decision as the parent?

You're planning on leaving 15 year olds with alcohol alone and unsupervised ( sister in another house is not supervision)? Are you mad?
The other parents might know that there's alcohol, but do they know that no adults will be present?
This is not responsible parenting, it's foolhardy. I don't know what The legal position is, but I suspect you may have personal responsibility for all of those children if you let them drink in your house. You certainly have a moral responsibility. How can you even be contemplating going out and leaving them?

You are being very irresponsible leaving 15 year old girls with alcohol alone.

You full well know your sister will intervene if she has to

She shouldn’t be interfering. But you are borderline neglecting a bunch of 15 year olds with alcohol if you just leave them to it.

This sounds irresponsible to me. The party needs some supervision at this age. Do the parents know their children won't be supervised whilst drinking?

You can’t seriously be leaving a group of 15 years olds alone with alcohol in your home? What happens if one of them ends up with alcohol poisoning?

Why are you leaving the house?

You’ve got to be joking. You don’t seriously think this is ok?

Is this a reverse

Well its not something I would do.... but you are right, its none of your SILs business.
I personally think that whilst its fine to allow her to have a houseparty and provide limited alcohol its a bad idea to leave them alone in the house at that age.... But its not my business either!

Your sil might be interfering but thank goodness someone is watching out for the houseful of teenagers left alone with beer and cider!!

Are you on your mum's MN account?. cannot imagine a situation in today's social media world where this party will not end up out of control!

What do you mean by she is ‘ young 15’ ? Surely 15 is 15 ?

I would never let my 15 year old do this for all sorts of reasons, one of them being I respect my neighbours too much

1. Why are you letting 15 year olds drink booze unsupervised in your house
2. Why is your sister in law so involved in what’s going on in your house?

So what precautions are you taking against someone getting raped? Or a drunken brawl breaking out? Or someone bringing drugs? Or someone getting alcohol poisoning? These are all things that used to happen at unsupervised House parties when I was that age. If you are hiring bouncers and limiting alcohol consumption fine. But just setting a bunch of 15 year olds loose on a tone of alcohol and god knows what else without any supervision. Is shocking.

I can remember having a party "for a few close friends" for my 16th and my parents went out until about 11.
It was carnage even though I did my best to keep it contained. Pissed up teenagers, broken possessions, neighbours calling police and many a virginity being lost

leave the house at your own risk!

One phone call to the police and you'll end up being arrested! What a totally stupid and irresponsible idea! I wouldn't even allow alcohol at a 15 yr olds house party even if I was sitting in the middle of it all!

"I need help mn, my 15 yo dd got pregnant at a house party".
Your next thread title op.

Unless you mean your SIL will be expected to supervise, what does it matter to her? You said your DSis will supervise.

However I'd be making sure all was well and staying next door with your neighbour so I could sort it myself.

I'm really surprised by the reaction. My dear step Mum made us punch etc. Party in the barn. No parental supervision. Everyone slept over. Good time had by all.

Different parties. Parents present never stopped us getting totally wasted.

Wallywobbles I'm guessing you went to the sort of parties I did. Plenty of alcohol, no parents, and no real issues except everyone had fun and were mainly drunk and underage!

I did at 17 not 15. There's no way my 15 year old would be going (with my permission anyway!) to an unsupervised party with alchohol.

*Alcohol

Can't type and sober!