Controlling SIL trying to stop DD having a house party

[mother2mother]

Dd is having a house party. By this I mean she's got a tone of cheap disco lights of amazon, she's borrowing a sound system, there's a mix being made and I've agreed that I'll buy beer and cider for the party so long as she contributes towards it (people who want to come have been giving donations). Anyway I'm on board as her friend has had similar parties (she borrowed some of the lights from her) and the worst that's happened is a tone of tired, sore throated teenagers having danced like idiots and sang all night. These do have reasonable turnouts by the way. She's asked for a midnight finish. Anyway I'm leaving the house (my sister lives less than 10 seconds away so it's not completely unsupervised). Anyway my SIL found out and has told DD it's not happening and she'll make sure of it.

She's told DD that if it does happen she'll come down, kick everyone out and take all the stuff used (speakers, lights, food, drinks etc). I know she won't do this she's all talk to action but DD is worried she will. DD is young 15 by the way and yes the guests parents know there will be alcohol.

By the way she is young 15. so should I tell SIL to f*ck off or should I cancel DD's party. And yes I'm taking precautions like upstairs locked off and anything remotely valuable (even something like a phone charger) will be removed from the bottom floor where the party is). Unless someone is incredibly strong or has a complex lock pick set no one outside DD will be able to get upstairs.

What has your SIL got to do with it? Does she interfere like this generally?

The SIL is the only sensible adult in this whole scenario.

15yos party
Unsupervised
Adult having bought alcohol for them

No, can't see any issues here

You must have loads of stairs if your sister in a different hpuse could get there as quick.
LOADS.

What do you mean by she is ‘ young 15’ ? Surely 15 is 15 ?

I assumed that meant she is just 15 and therefore in year 10 rather than in Year 11 with some friends turning 16. So some of her friends could be fairly recently turned 14!

I think you're crazy to go out and leave them to it. I believe you though. I grew up in the kind of area where young teens regularly had unsupervised access to a house, loud music, alcohol and worse. I was terrified of those kids and wouldn't have got an invite anyway so I didn't go to the parties ... but I heard the stories! Don't do it!

This is a recipe for disaster. What happens if your neighbours call the police, who turn up and find not only have you left a load of 15 year olds unsupervised with alcohol but that you also bought it for them?

This exact scenario happened many moons ago at a house party I attended. The absent parents got into serious trouble with the police.

Your SIL needs telling that if she turns up at the house looking for trouble, the police will be called to remove her - and in future she is to mind her own fucking business.

I think it's probably a good idea to have some adult supervision at this party, but your SIL should be put firmly in her place.

Well I don't think you're being cool enough. A proper cool mum would hire some male prostitutes to help take care of their daughters pesky virginity too.

Also, bake some hash cakes and leave some pots of glue lying around too.
Idiot.

I think your sil is the only one thinking sensibly, it's irresponsible to provide alcohol for a group of 14/15/16 year olds and then leave them to their own devices

Your SIL needs telling that if she turns up at the house looking for trouble, the police will be called to remove her - and in future she is to mind her own fucking business.

The police will probably end up getting called at some point anyway. If OP calls for SIL then the police will arrive to find a load of pissed up, unsupervised 15 year olds with a massive sound system, SIL will not be the one in trouble.

You're giving stranger's children alcohol and leaving them unsupervised? If any parent calls the police you'll be the one who gets in trouble.

Maybe your SiL interferes with your dd's life because her parents are idiots? Could that be it?

lol at the posters ploughing in giving advice after only read the op. Such a shame they cannot be arsed to read further updates then they would realise why the SIL is interfering. Call the police ffs if she shows up. Does she interfere generally? None of her business etc.
Hey but carry on not bothering to read updates, bit of extra entertainment for the rest of us

DD was looking into bouncers just to help keep everything under control (and also it's not uncool to have bouncers like it is if we had parents supervising since bouncers are associated with A list celebrities and big events at least to my daughter and her friends)

I'll remember that when I'm queuing up in the wind and rain at Fantastic Fanny's dance emporium in town next Friday night trying to convince the bouncers that my mate is completely sober while she vomits up the wall. I always knew there was something a bit A lister about me.

Totally and utterly irresponsible. A recipe for disaster.

I'm not sure why sil thinks she has a right to interfere or why you'd let her.
But yes I'd never let my kids have an unsupervised party. I can see where sil is coming from.

Oh gosh, you really need to be in the house in case one of them gets ill. I'm not sure where you stand legally providing alcohol to minors & it being unsupervised. If your daughter is thinking of getting bouncers she's already worried it will get out of hand. I don't understand your thought process in this at all. Have you contacted the other kids parents to let them know there will be alcohol and it will be unsupervised?

FFS there are some pearl-clutching twats on this thread. The SIL has announced her intention to ruin the party, not supervise, and OP says she has form for bullying and meddling. Sounds like she needs a good slap.
People don't get arrested for allowing 15 year olds to have a couple of beers at a party FFS.

It's not the couple of beers that's the problem. It's likely to be the litre bottles of vodka that the kids will bring. (Not to mention the weed and the nos)

This is so obviously bollocks

I think it's fine. What business is it if your sil? Yes they're a bit young to drink and I'd probably wait until 16 but not the end of the world. If things go wrong they go wrong and you cross that bridge then.

If the party happens can you update us to what happened?

I don’t think you should be providing other people’s teens with alcohol it could land you in big trouble, especially if one takes ill and needs a hospital trip or such. My mother wouldn’t even give me so much as a glass of wine for Christmas until I was 16 and it was the best thing she could have done. Please don’t start your child on alcohol young. No one needs to drink it and to be honest it ruins lives quite a lot of the time. It’s not something you should be encouraging. Maybe get them some expensive energy drinks instead as a treat since they can no longer buy them themselves? Will have them bouncing off the walls as much as beer

@ReanimatedSGB

&FFS there are some pearl-clutching twats on this thread. The SIL has announced her intention to ruin the party, not supervise, and OP says she has form for bullying and meddling. Sounds like she needs a good slap.
People don't getarrestedfor allowing 15 year olds to have a couple of beers at a party FFS.*

Righteo, bunch of hormonal teenagers, alcohol, late night and no adult supervision? What on earth could go wrong???

I recall attending about four such parties during Year 10/11 about 15 years ago, all unsupervised. Noone had their stomach pumped or had sex, although a few 'messed around' and there was maybe one or two joints passed around outside by a couple of people. I obviously didn't live in a particularly exciting area!

One did get broken up by neighbours, but more than likely because it was in a small terraced house, whereas the others were semi-detached or detached.