Are all teenagers horrible?

[Gekkoforprimeminister]

All I seem to hear about teens is how awful, difficult and unlikable they are. Ds is only six and so loving and happy. Is it inevitable that he will become a complete horror? Or is there some hope, are some teens actually ok?

My pre-teen is mostly a lovely girl, but can have an acid tongue. When she says something unpleasant all I have to do is ask her if that was kind or needed in that situation, and she apologises and backs off.

No, mine are fine. The eldest leaves his teens the end of this week and the youngest is 14. They aren't perfect (who is?!) and they've had personal issues at times, but they've never been awful, difficult or unlikable. I started on MN just before the 14yo was born, and over the years I've read many things that made me apprehensive about their teens but it is the case that people post when they're at the end of their tether. They rarely post to say 'everything's fine, they're all nice, it's been a nice week, DS made me a nice coffee unprompted this morning'

My 15 year old ds is honestly lovely (he gave me a rough time as a toddler though!) and I genuinely enjoy spending time with him.
I've met a few nightmare teens (I think I was a bit of one!) and it's maybe a bit of nature and a bit of nurture, with a hefty dose of peer pressure.

My 13 year old is wonderful! I accept there is still time to all go horribly wrong but at the moment he is a lovely teenager!

Ha! That was far too many 'nice's' I can feel my old English teacher glaring at me across the years.

Ds started mowing the lawn at 12, it’s now just his job and he expects no payment. I asked him to take my new mattress upstairs recently (more joking with him as I said it would help grow his muscles) not only did he take it up and bring the old one down, he made my bed up with fresh sheets!

My 13 year old is lovely. Hangs out in her room a lot and is very lazy but she is kind and loving and thoughtful. Sadly her classmates see this as a good reason to hate her and tease her all the time. So we're finding the teen years difficult at the moment but for different reasons from those you suggest!

I’ve two teenagers at home, and one who lives with his boyfriend. They’re ALL lovely, as are their friends who are often here (en masse). They are respectful, funny, caring, compassionate, and lazy as hell really but I let that go because- well, all the above

I have to admit I am dreading DD9 hitting her teens but maybe she will get it all out of her system before then. We already have strops, attitude, answering back etc.

Absolutely not. Most young people are delightful. I can’t think of a single friend of my brood who isn’t someone you’d want to spend time with or welcome into your home.

One of mine was the quiet misery in the bedroom type
One made me age 5 years in 1 year.
They are both adults with jobs and homes at 20 and 23.

Touch wood... I'm loving the teenage years. My DS1 is nearly 15 and he's so much fun and great company. I've honestly never enjoyed his company so much. He was hard-work when he was younger but he's honestly properly lovely now.

DS2 is 10. He's always been easy-going and sweet... I'm hoping it won't be Sod's law that he turns into a teenage tearaway.

Our kids are 21 and 18 now and we haven't had a problem with either of them apart from DS1 being the class clown for a couple of terms at high school. Sure,when they hit early teens there was a few slammed doors going on but as long as you listen to what they have to say and treat them respectfully and set realistic boundaries you will get through it, hopefully with ease.

They have been and still are great company. We spend a lot of time socially with them and always have been funny and intelligent.

I work with teenagers, some are going through tough times emotionally but they are great too.
I honestly think the teenage years have been the best. We can ski together, go backpacking, go to gigs, have a beer, meet up for coffee, go to sports events and have a laugh.

The only downside is they can be bloody expensive!!! Worth it though.

MinnieMouse My DD was properly vile as a toddler - she had a violent temper and went through biting phases, kicking phases, hitting phases, nipping phases (I could go on). Once a tantrum started I knew I had 2 hours ahead of me before the red mist finally lifted and she calmed down. That was when she was 2.

Now, age 13, she is the most loveliest, hard-working sweetest child ever. She does all the ironing, sometimes cooks, is no trouble whatsoever, and I left her recent parents' evening walking on air - every teacher I spoke to thought she was awesome and kept saying to me "well, you must be having a fantastic evening with a DD like yours"!!

Maybe it's the opposite: vile toddler = lovely teenager.

But if I think that, then my younger DD is going to be a horrible teenager!

DS is almost 14. He was a bit grumpy at 12 ish but now is 😊 He volunteers, is polite and helpful, nice ( most of the time) to his little brother and kind, works hard at school. He still needs cuddles, which I “force” onto him over his rather pathetic protestations.

Does a lot of sport, scouts, drama and DOE. And too much PS4.

Will have “proper” conversations in the car.

He is very funny and I can see the person that he is becoming, which is lovely.

12 and 14 lovely here. And better company every year. It is sensible to expect teens to be egocentric, self-conscious, impulsive and have changeable moods though. And don't be too critical of all of the above.

Really depends on the child and what kind of thing entertains them. DD has been a nightmare at times between 13-15. My DNs had a very similar upbringing one of them stays in a lot is obsessed with anime and isn't at all into hanging round, her other sister is very studious and heavily into sports goes out but does nice things like dinner or an activity, youngest a real handful drawn to the "popular" crowd disinterested in school and hobbies and favours trying to drink in the local park. All girls have the same parents and upbringing!

I have teen dd, she is bloody delightful, way easier than she was throughout her earlier years.
We now eat out together, gossip over tea & biscuits and she is genuinely one of my best friends.

Mine are lovely (17 and 21) One of them was awful aged 0 to 10, so I've earned an easy teen ride!

They are wonderful
They are awful
They are wonderful
They are awful
Repeat ad naseum

Wouldn’t ever be without them though

Mine are grand. I'm constantly amazed by them.

Agree with others above...I adore my three.

They argue occasionally, but are such good company for me and each other.
So helpful around the house- oldest has definitely started seeing jobs that need to be done, before being asked.
We still do cuddles in bed after lights out, and it lifts my heart every night. I come back downstairs smiling.

It's not all sunshine and roses, but we talk about pretty much everything under the sun. (at the moment, they groan if anyone brings up the issue of gender as they know I won't stop for several minutes).

DS is coming to the age of watching 15movies with me...which is interesting

I actually spent some time thinking about this over the weekend- we went through some terrible years when their father left, they were very distressed. One has SN and needed huge amounts of time put in.

But it has paid off so far (fingers crossed, touch wood)

adelica I remember watching Ghost with dd when she was 15, totally forgot about 'that' scene at the potters wheel! Not something you want to watch with your Mum

MINE are pretty decent. They have their moments(!) and their faults - but they’re grnerally ok. DD says to me ‘you’re a good muon but can be annoying’ which is pretty much what I’d say about them!

They aren't awful, no. In fact I would rather have teenagers than toddlers.