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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

16 year old DS away with GF

137 replies

Woody67 · 14/07/2017 19:10

My DS is 16 (17 in December) and he is going on a "mini break" for 3 nights to a B&B with his GF, also 16. They've been together about 7 months. My view is that it's probably preferable to a lads rowdy holiday and if they are going to have sex then they don't need to go away to do so.. Would you let your 16 yo go?

OP posts:
espoleta · 16/07/2017 22:52

I just want to say OP that it seems you have a wonderful relationship with your son.
When I was 16 I got up to all sorts of adventures, and a nice weekend away in the country with a long term partner would have been a pretty tame weekend.

Voice0fReason · 16/07/2017 23:09

I would talk to the girls parents, and ask if she has been put on the pill
WTF? You would have no right to talk to your son's, girlfriend's parents about her contraception choices, and she does not get "put" on the pill! She can choose to go on the pill if she wants to but it is none of her parent's business and it most certainly wouldn't be yours.

Those of you who don't mind them going away and having lots of sex - do none of you worry about unplanned pregnancy?
A parent being worried about an issue is not a good enough reason to prevent a child from doing something they are legally entitled to do.

wellhonestly · 16/07/2017 23:19

Re calling 16 yos "schoolchildren" - my DCs' school would never call them "children", they call them "pupils".

They can legally have sex, so I think calling them "children" is a bit off to be honest.

Although I appreciate it's a question of definitions and where you draw a line.

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2017 18:47

Sorry-did someone just say "16 year old" and "long term partner" in the same sentence??

Emboo19 · 17/07/2017 21:27

My boyfriend was older, but at 16 I'd been on weekends away and a week abroad with him and a group of his friends.
The first weekend away, we didn't even have sex and he'd made it clear before going he wasn't expecting it.

One of my close friends and her bf (16 and 17 at the time) went way specifically to have sex for the first time. They wanted it to be special and no risk of anyone disturbing them. They'd been together about 18 months.

Emboo19 · 17/07/2017 21:30

Although I did get pregnant at 18! So maybe I'm not the best example don't think we were away at the time that happened though

And my friend is still with her Bf and no babies!!!

Teenageromance · 17/07/2017 23:40

Were you trying for a baby?

glasshalfemp · 17/07/2017 23:43

Adulthood is very long. Is this normal Confused. Wow

Emboo19 · 17/07/2017 23:50

Me? Teenageromance
No definitely not!!
I had the implant, so it was very much unexpected Shock

Teenageromance · 18/07/2017 00:04

I would feel very sad if my daughter has an unwanted pregnancy. Not worth it in my opinion as too young to have this happen.

leonardthelemming · 18/07/2017 15:51

OK - I said I would shut up, but I came back to lurk and found this...

No. At 16, all my dc, all my nieces and nephews, all my friends dc all my dcs friends, all my God children, all the dc of my colleagues, were all at school, so, how can it be 'wrong' to call them school children ?

Because they don't have to be at school. It's their choice how they organize their post-16 education. They could be at college, or doing a correspondence course (as long as it leads to an accredited qualification).
And because they are not "children" in any sense other than the legal one, and we have already established (although it's clear some people don't want to know) that the definition is so that they can benefit from certain legislation and for no other reason.

And this:

Leonardthelemming what you seem to be confusing is the fact that something might be "legal" doesn't mean it is the 'right choice' for a person at that time.

On the contrary, I'm not confused at all. This is the whole point. If a young couple in a relationship are mature enough to plan and organise a weekend away, and go out to work to pay for it, and they obviously want to go, then it clearly is the "right choice" for them.

And if I go on and on about the legal aspects, well someone has to. There is so much rubbish posted on MN where people quote opinion and claim it to be fact, that someone posting for advice could get very confused.

MsHarry · 19/07/2017 17:59

No I wouldn't. Are the parents of the gf are ok with it? i have a 16 nearly 17 yr old DD and there is no way!!!

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