DD15 wants to move out just after her birthday

[chocolateneededplease]

I'm not sure how to feel about this. My DD is 15, and will be 16 in July. Her boyfriend (19-yes I know) is applying for a apprenticeship and if he gets it he will be on £200 a month. This apprenticeship will be about 50 minutes drive away from my house. My DD will be starting college in September and she would qualify for the free college bus there and back and for EMA. She said she would get a part time job and with that and EMA, be able to afford everything needed.
I don't doubt she'd be able to look after herself, even now she's able to be left for the weekend and cook/clean/look after the dogs but it just seems awfully young. I overheard her on the phone to BF and was talking about meal planning and direct debits for bills in a separate account and bill buying and Lidl shops so she's obviously been thinking for this for a while (and I've rubbed off on her by the sounds of it ) I know it's legal for her to move out but it just doesn't sit right with me. What's your opinion?

I'm not bothered if you're offended.

Your posts are all about whether it's legal and nothing at all about putting a young teen in an extremely vulnerable position. You should be having a long hard look at yourself and what's more important, exact legalities or the safety of a vulnerable person.

"No longer a child - not yet a woman."
Leonard I think you are getting confused with Britney.

I'm sorry, but I'm totally confused by your reference AndKnowItsSeven

I quoted from a film script (which is presumably in the public domain) where one character described a girl of about the OP's DD's age to another character when asked how old she probably was.

Do you think that description to be factually inaccurate when describing a girl of 15/16?

What point are you trying to make?

Very genuinely, those who are saying that they would say no - how would you stop them?

Discourage, yes, but you could not actually prevent this from happening.

I'm not bothered if you're offended.

Your posts are all about whether it's legal and nothing at all about putting a young teen in an extremely vulnerable position. You should be having a long hard look at yourself and what's more important, exact legalities or the safety of a vulnerable person.

I'm offended at being accused of advocating underage sex.

My posts are not specifically about legality, rather they are about being factually accurate. The OP cannot make a value judgement based on misinformation.

Why do you opine that I am not concerned about the safety of a vulnerable person? Quite the contrary - I am very concerned about such matters. But if you mean that the OP's DD is a vulnerable person I cannot agree with you because neither of us has sufficient information. Although, judging from what the OP has told us and my own experience with girls that age, I suspect she is not. She comes across as someone who knows her own mind and can stand up for herself.
But clearly there are a number of people on here who automatically assume that she is vulnerable, because of the age gap, despite the fact that the OP has repeatedly stated that the BF is not "grooming" her daughter.
Since the OP knows both her DD and the BF, I'm more inclined to accept her point of view.

Support her decision! Please!
This was me 16 years ago and my parents didn't speak to me for months, as it happened even though we had some hard times my bf and I managed and everything worked out well in the end. Fast forward to now we have a 7yo dd, a 4yo dd, a 2 yo dad and another dd due anytime.
It wasn't all rosy though in the first year or so and having my parents support would have made a huge difference and the way they acted has had a lasting impact on our relationship x

You should be having a long hard look at yourself and what's more important, exact legalities or the safety of a vulnerable person

Exactly Whirl

No mention of the previous boyfriends, lying, police involvement or or how she could be setting off down a path that could have very negative consequences for the rest of her life, instead just referencing obscure age of consent laws in countries the child doesn't live in...

Britney Spears Leonard

No mention of the previous boyfriends, lying, police involvement ,

No mention of previous boyfriends because it's no longer relevant. The girl appears to have learnt from her mistakes and according to the OP the current boyfriend is a "lovely lad" and gets her seal of approval. This suggests an increasing level of maturity on the part of the girl.
There was one incident of police involvement, and it was the OP who reported the then boyfriend, thus acting responsibly to protect her daughter.

how she could be setting off down a path that could have very negative consequences for the rest of her life

I did, in fact, discuss this aspect, although I did not automatically suggest negative consequences. Rather, I focused on the positive - that she could well be motivated enough to make a go of it and I gave an example from real life.

just referencing obscure age of consent laws in countries the child doesn't live in...

Really? That's all I said? I think I mentioned a lot of other things as well. Especially since I considered it unlikely that they were having sex anyway.
But I felt I needed to mention it because so many people seemed to assume the worst, and I pointed out that other countries/governments take a different view as to what is "appropriate" and to ignore that constitutes a somewhat blinkered attitude.

Britney Spears Leonard

What has Britney Spears got to do with the OP's situation?

And you haven't answered my question as to whether you think the quote is factually inaccurate.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=IlV7RhT6zHs

What has Britney Spears got to do with the OP's situation?

About as much as the Canadian age of consent, the fact his DS has got a flat in London who knows why thats highlighted and the 1944 Education Act by all accounts.

A 15 year old is legally a child.

Thank you for the YouTube link AndKnowItsSeven

Not being a fan of Britney Spears I was not aware of the use of a title so similar to my - much older - quote. But you still haven't said whether you think the quote is factually inaccurate when applied to a 15/16-year-old girl. Unless you mean this

A 15 year old is legally a child.

Did I say otherwise? But I said words to the effect that the legal status of a young person is not necessarily the same as reality. I was a "child" at 20. Had the law not been changed, both the OP's DD and her boyfriend would legally be children. Would that affect your argument?

Incidentally, in Germany a child is defined as a person under the age of 14. 14 to 17-year-olds are "juveniles".
In the UK, the Citizens Advice Bureau uses the same age limits but uses the term "young people" rather than "juveniles".
I presume you will find this irrelevant too, because it isn't the law here. I happen to think that the law is a bit out of touch with reality, whereas the Citizens Advice Bureau has got it pretty much spot on, based on my own experience of working with teenagers. To give successive governments their due though, they have been gradually giving more legal rights to 16-year-olds over the past few decades, with hopefully more to come.

About as much as the Canadian age of consent

I never mentioned the Canadian age of consent. Do you not read my posts? FYI though, the Canadian age of consent was raised from 14 to 16 in (I think) 2014. But, at the same time, the Canadian government introduced a two-stage close-in-age exemption, as I described earlier. I am not going to repeat my explanation as to why it's relevant because I think most people will find it obvious.

the fact his DS has got a flat in London who knows why thats highlighted

Again, I think most people will be aware that London property prices are high, yet my son can afford to live there despite not going to university. I offer this as an example to the OP (and her DD) that a 16-and-a-half-year-old moving into her own place is not "throwing her life away" as some seem to suggest but, with determination, could actually work out for her. I'm focusing on the positives, whereas you are only concerned with the negatives (and being a bit melodramatic about it, imo).

Bloody hell. Thank god my Mother actually parented me and didn't allow the cocky 15yr old me to walz off with her highly unsuitable 17yr old boyfriend!

Come on. I'm surely not the only one thinking this is a bad idea?! (haven't got time to read the thread!) Teenage romances generally do not last. And let's face it, the ones that do, divorce in their 30's when they suddenly have an early mid life crisis and wonder what the hell they missed out on! (my friends are 100% on trend with this one so far)

We should be encouraging our teenagers to see the world, go travelling, get educated. Not move in with Barry and his bedsit!

My DD was 16 yesterday I came home from work today to find that she has moved out. She has moved in with her grandparents (my parents) who have interfered throughout her childhood. I feel so hopeless right now. I feel betrayed by the whole thing
The stubborn part of me wants to wash my hands of all of them but my big heart won't let me. I don't know what to do. Sorry for hijacking the OP.