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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Don't know what to do

54 replies

coatless · 15/03/2017 10:17

My sixteen y.o. went to a friend's house last night after school and stayed over. That bit's fine. This morning she texted me to say she felt sick this morning so was not going to school and was going to stay at her friend's house.

I don't know if friend is staying off as well. I kind of hope so because I think DD being ill at someone else's house is not on when there's an alternative, i.e. home. I think it's an imposition even if friend's parents say they don't mind and told her so. No response.

I told her I'm going to be in vicinity of friend's house this morning so can collect her. No response.

I'm not willing to phone school to tell them she's off sick if she won't respond to my messages.

Should I turn up on friend's doorstep? Don't know what to do. DD has history of anxiety and depression but I think she's messing about. She has missed a lot of school lately while claiming to be ambitious academically.

OP posts:
TeenAndTween · 15/03/2017 10:20

Definitely turn up on doorstep.
Sick or hungover do you think?

JustSpeakSense · 15/03/2017 10:22

Yes, you should go and collect her now.

She should be in your care if unwell, not at someone else's house. You are the parent and need to assess how unwell she is and what her needs are (doctor appointment, bed rest etc.)

Spending a day off school with her friend is inappropriate.

Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 10:23

Doubt hungover but who knows. Thanks for reply. I'll go round and knock on the door.

OP posts:
Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 15/03/2017 10:24

Home to bed if she is ill I am afraid. .

Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 10:24

Door is fifteen miles away. Wish me luck! Thanks, JSS, I agree.

OP posts:
Kimlek · 15/03/2017 10:51

I bet they both decided to have a day off. Were the parents definitely there last night? Could she have gone somewhere else? Maybe they are both somewhere else entirely and said they were at each other's? Teens!! Hope she's just skivving at her mates!

Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 11:15

No-one answering door arc friend's house Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 11:15

at

OP posts:
Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 15/03/2017 11:17

Still drunk.

Sorry op.

GeorgiePeachie · 15/03/2017 11:20

They might have gone to town together. Sounds like bunking off to me. gone to sit and eat ice cream in a shopping centre.

Kimlek · 15/03/2017 11:32

Oh op! I'm sure you've called her. Don't leave a message saying your at the house as she'll just think of a fib. Tell her to come home and sort it out then. Do you have the friends number or friends parents number? Call the latter I think. I'd be getting worried & cross.

acornsandnuts · 15/03/2017 11:35

Friends number? Friends parents number? Social media account. I would make sure she knows your not stopping until you find her. Totally not on.

StewPots · 15/03/2017 11:41

Oh no OP, I hope you find her and put your mind at rest.
This doesn't help, I know, but I pulled this one a few times in my teens, mainly because I was either hungover or CBA with double maths that day and wanted to laze around.
My mum found me at my mates house, after getting fed up and figuring out I was a class A bull shitter ...I was totally fine but clearly skiving, and so she walked me to school everyday after that for months. I was 15. Mortifying.

Kimlek · 15/03/2017 11:47

I'd call school too I'm afraid - she may have decided to go after all and has her phone off as in lessons. Fingers crossed. If she's not and school then know she's truanting you can work together to make sure never happens again. Priority is to find her though so you have to check with school. She may be off with a group of mates. Who knows. Social media is a good idea. Can you check her posts? Snapchat? Instagram? Call the friend & parents? Really feel for you as I'd be livid.

Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 11:50

Seen head of year at school who spoke to Friend ( who is in school). Seems DD did stay over and may still be there poss asleep.

OP posts:
Kimlek · 15/03/2017 11:51

Phew! If friend in school & did stay over then phew!!!!

Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 11:52

Have Friend mobile no. House phone of Friend not in phone book. Asked Friend to let me know asap if DD contacts her.

Not as worried as I was but....😟

OP posts:
Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 11:54

Thank you all for replies. Need a good cry to release pent up worry.

OP posts:
dalmatianmad · 15/03/2017 11:58

Does she normally sleep out on a school night op?

oleoleoleole · 15/03/2017 12:12

Unacceptable behaviour. If she's ill at friends and staying off school fine but she should be at home. Could friend not have given you a key so that you could have gone to check she's ok? Texting is a nightmare and never replaces a conversation. I'd ask her to ring you in future. I'd also stop the sleepovers on a school night!

Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 12:23

dalmatian, no, and I'd rather she didn't but she is manipulative. Easy as Friend lives in different town from us. School covers large rural area.

OP posts:
Original poster
coatless · 15/03/2017 12:24

I will try again with not allowing weekday sleepovers.

OP posts:
Chinnygirl · 15/03/2017 12:34

Maybe she stayed the night with a boyfriend? When I was a teen that happened a lot while telling parents that they were somewhere else. Did she tell ytou about a boyfriend and do you know where he lives?

Kimlek · 15/03/2017 13:35

chinnygirl According to the friend IPs daughter did stay at hers and still there. Assuming friend is telling the truth - I would think so given school involved too. Poor OP!!

Kimlek · 15/03/2017 13:36

OPs not IPs
chinnygirl

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