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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Male babysitter for 14yr old DD & 4yr old DD.

131 replies

Lifeisshort123 · 23/09/2016 12:36

My DH and my 3 boys are going to see a play tonight in London. We usually wouldn't have a problem with leaving our sensible 14yr old in charge and she has looked after her younger siblings and special needs older brother before without any issues. However, as we won't be back until about 12am as the play is at 8, I have booked a babysitter who we know vaguely. He is a 17yr old male who's mum is friends with one of my close friends. My DH thinks this is a bad idea and they should only be looked after by a female and someone over 18. Is he being unreasonable?

OP posts:

Meadows76 · 24/09/2016 10:43

Was that comment really needed maybe not? Tbh I'm beginning to wonder if it's just me that wouldn't leave their children with a complete stranger :/ then again having your stranger babysitter do you 4yo teeth etc with them rather than her 14yo sister seems a bit strange to me. I mean surely the 4yo would be more comfortable with her sister than someone brand new? But yes I am amazed that this is a thing people do. I would never have a stranger in my house let alone leave them with my children. Maybe that is just me because everyone else on the thread seems to be more concerned about ther not being a big enough age gap, or that the sitter was a male. But WOAH for me the biggest issue was that you posted you knew him 'vaguely'. I'm glad you had a good night out and that everything worked out well though

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 11:24

Good luck finding any childcare then. You can't wrap your kids in cotton wool for the rest of there lives. Goodness he's hardly going to be some awful person if my best friend knows him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 11:26

Well you can but you get my point..

OP posts:

Meadows76 · 24/09/2016 11:31

Good luck finding any childcare then. You can't wrap your kids in cotton wool for the rest of there lives. Goodness he's hardly going to be some awful person if my best friend knows him.. There is a MASSIVE difference between 'wrapping then in cotton wool' and leaving a complete stranger to look after them. You are incredibly naive btw if you think someone can't be an awful person simply because they know one of your freinds.

Milklollies · 24/09/2016 11:39

I think you're getting a really unfair time on this thread OP. Some of the posters seem to be stuck in the 50's. You treat both boys and girls with equal respect/ suspicion. If you have material facts to prove otherwise then you can behave to your liking but attacking the idea of 17 year old boy babysitting a 14yo girl is completely sexist and just against the boy but the girl as well.

I'm glad you stuck to your guns op.

Simmi1 · 24/09/2016 11:50

I have regularly used the sitters agency. I wasn't able to get to know each one before they babysat. They were all checked by the agency and were all women mostly a bit older. My children are very small. I am a bit 🤔 at the suggestion you should personally know every babysitter that you use.

Meadows76 · 24/09/2016 11:55

I am a bit 🤔 at the suggestion you should personally know every babysitter that you use.. Like I said it seems to be just me but the idea of leaving my kids with someone they don't know horrifies me! That said, nights out were not a regular occurrence for us so we managed with grandad once or twice.

Meadows76 · 24/09/2016 11:56

Also sitters agency staff is not the same as random freind of freinds son. :/

lastqueenofscotland · 24/09/2016 12:00

I had a male babysitter when I was little. He was fantastic, became a real family friend.

Meloncoley2 · 24/09/2016 12:01

People leave their children with people they don't know all the time, thinking of nursery staff, teachers etc

AnyFucker · 24/09/2016 12:05

Yes, we leave our children with people we don't know

They are usually subject to some form of checking though. Unlike "well my friend knows him so he must be fine"

Meadows76 · 24/09/2016 12:07

People leave their children with people they don't know all the time, thinking of nursery staff, teachers etc. NOT the same in any way. Certainly before mine started nursery we did 2/3 taster sessions, I didn't just rock up and throw them in the door!! Even with teachers they usually meet the children at least once first. I don't see how a routine school setting with a new teacher (maybe met once) could be comparable to a brand new person taking you upstairs to clean your teeth in your own home at 4yo!! It's not the same.

Purplebluebird · 24/09/2016 13:05

I would not have a 17 year old "babysit" a 14 year old :p It's just due to the age gap, don't care about the gender. I think they could make a lot of mess if they wanted to! (Not talking about inappropriate). To be honest I can't see why a 14 year old needs babysitting even if it's late in the evening... Sorry but I find it a bit strange. I would babysit my 4 cousins late at night when I was 13-14, it was never a problem.

Purplebluebird · 24/09/2016 13:09

Sorry I missed a page of the thread! Glad it worked out well :)

OlennasWimple · 24/09/2016 13:24

We've used babysitters we didn't know personally, but they were the children of our friends rather than the friend of a friend. 5 quid an hour sounds far too cheap, though - I think you owe him a bit more cash...

LetitiaCropleysCookbook · 24/09/2016 13:40

Goodness he's hardly going to be some awful person if my best friend knows him

I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but many people have the experience of a member of their own family being that awful person. Not casting aspersions on your babysitter, but it's naive in the extreme to suppose that your best friend knowing him is any kind of guarantee.

16augustholiday · 24/09/2016 14:15

Wow, I have just seen this thread and am amazed at the turn it has taken anti teenage boys.

I think the OP has been getting a really hard time and I was glad to continue reading and see that all worked out well, as I would have expected.

My nearly 16yo DS babysits for our friends, by chance both families have only daughters with the oldest ones being 12. There have never been any issues.

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 15:29

I'm quite shocked at some of the replies to be perfectly honest.

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Ninasimoneinthemorning · 24/09/2016 15:37

Why?

Branleuse · 24/09/2016 15:37

no way would I have a 17 year old babysitter for a 14 year old girl, but even less likely to have a 17 year old male babysitter. He would be more like a peer than a responsible adult. I think youd be asking for trouble.

titchy · 24/09/2016 15:40

14 yo in ds' class is pregnant by her 17 yo bf... Just sayin'

It's tragic actually

gratesnakes · 24/09/2016 15:42

I would not have wanted my 17 year old son to babysit a 14 year old girl til midnight.
What if there is chemistry between them?
These things can happen.

Meadows76 · 24/09/2016 15:50

I'm quite shocked at some of the replies to be perfectly honest.. Could you expand on that?

Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 15:53

If the genders were flipped a 17yr old girl looking after a 4 & 14yr old girl would be different wouldn't it?
I'm confused why people are so anti teenage boy.

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Original poster

Lifeisshort123 · 24/09/2016 15:53

boy*

OP posts:

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