Male babysitter for 14yr old DD & 4yr old DD.

[Lifeisshort123]

My DH and my 3 boys are going to see a play tonight in London. We usually wouldn't have a problem with leaving our sensible 14yr old in charge and she has looked after her younger siblings and special needs older brother before without any issues. However, as we won't be back until about 12am as the play is at 8, I have booked a babysitter who we know vaguely. He is a 17yr old male who's mum is friends with one of my close friends. My DH thinks this is a bad idea and they should only be looked after by a female and someone over 18. Is he being unreasonable?

If this boy, is known by my closest friend and has a good reputation, how is this any different or more 'inappropiate' than my own son looking after them?
He actually seems very sweet and has just sent me a text asking what the girls like to do/what games do they like to play as he doesnt want them to feel uncomfortable. I couldn't tell him sorry no I can't take the risk incase you aren't 'nice' or you like my 14yr old daughter who hasn't even started her periods yet..
Am I the only one who would feel awful to blow someone out on the day?

I do appreciate all the replies and different views on this. If we ever need someone to watch the two girls (which I doubt we will) I think we'd probably try to find an older babysitter if DD isn't old enough yet (In my opinion)

Yes, he's mainly there for the young one.

I'm sure it will all be fine; these things are never clear cut and you know your DDs the best and what will be the best for them. Enjoy your evening out

I couldn't tell him sorry no I can't take the risk incase you aren't 'nice'. Absolutely 100% yoy SHOULD be saying 'no, sorry' because as I already posted you only know him VAGUELY. Again, it's nothing to do with gender, it's about leaving your children with someone you barely know!!!!!

Thank you!

I understand but I do feel comfortable with leaving them with him now..

Our neighbour's son was put forward for babysitting he is 18 and not working or at college. DH said he imagines spends his days smoking spliffs (we get the odd whiff), watching porn or playing video games, so we said no.

I'd far rather a middle aged or elderly woman but that's just me.When we were little my dad's secretary sometimes came to babysit us and she was nice but I do remember her and her boyfriend suggesting we had bedtime stories in my parey bed the move to our own beds to sleep, with hindsight this all seems a bit off.

I used to babysit my little sister from when I was 11 and she was 1. Overnight from about 12 - she still talks about the time when she was 3 and I "scarred her for life" watching a horror film when I had put her to bed and hour earlier, she got up for a glass of water and walked in on a scene with the main character peeling his face off.. and the time she was being very quiet in the dining room while I was talking on the phone and I went to see what she was up to and she had necked a bottle of calpol. Surprisingly my parents were really calm and didn't blame me, and I continued to look after her. I didn't come from a neglectful family by the way, these are now just funny things that we tease her about

At 14 I had the hots for Marti Pellow. He was 29. I have always liked older men so not sure why you would think being 14 would mean she wouldn't fancy a 17 year old!

*an hour eaelder, not and.

*earlier. What is going on!

Arrived home at 1am this morning to a tidy house (just a few games out).
Both DD's asleep and he had done everything we'd asked and ticked things of the list we made him about my 4yr old DD which had things on there like what time she goes to bed and that she needs help brushing her teeth ect. My 14yr old is still asleep but my 4yr old seemed to of really liked him and kept calling him the name of her eldest brother by accident. I will be using him again without any worry for my 4 & 5yr old in November. He was actually very mature and according to my friend got 10 GCSE's and 7 of those were A's. He seemed like a really nice guy, goes to show that not all 17yr old teen boys are immature and untrustworthy.

He only charged £5 an hour for both of them so it was a cheap service to

No way. I'm with your OH.

Glad it worked out, but I wouldn't have any random person I don't really know in my home looking after my kids.

life be very very careful. Your allowing a complete stranger in to your home with your unsupervised children in the hear day of some one else. Just because he 'seems' nice and apparently has good GCSE means nothing.

I was sexually abused by my 'nice' baby sitter and he was the relative of my mothers friend.

Him being cheap shouldn't be one of your deciding factors either.

You have plenty of time to go through an agency before you next go out where,there I presume have been checks and all is well.

He's cheap and got good GCSEs? yep that's just the criteria I'd be looking for in a babysitter.

As a young teenager I babysat most weekends for 3 boys the eldest of whom was only 3 years younger than me. His and his parent's view was that I was there to look after the younger ones and referee them falling out. He was fine with it and was mostly in his room.

As a Mum of a 17 year old boy I would completely trust DS with a 14 year old girl. He has a lot of contact

Agh! Posted too soon!
He has a lot of contact with children (mainly little girls) through his hobby and is often asked to babysit although admittedly they are a lot younger.

I agree with you OP that I wouldn't leave a 14 year old until after midnight especially as you will be at the theatre and not easily contactable should she need reassurance. I'd go with the babysitter but explain he's there to look after the little one not her.

There surely good things though?
Obviously he did his job and both the kids seemed to like him.

I thought I was being a bit unreasonable but I was over an hour away from them and I couldn't risk it. Usually i would only ever use a babysitter for only use a babysitter for my 4 & 5yr old. She was fully aware that he wasn't there to look after her just her sister. The only thing he did for her was put her tea in the microwave and serve it but apart from that she didn't need him for anything. Please note our microwave is the type that has exploded before.

I can see now why you needed a babysitter if your 14 yo can not heat a precooked tea in the microwave without help.

I am gobsmacked that you left your children with someone you 'vaguely' know. In fact when I read your OP again I get the impression that you didn't actually know him at all, he is a freind of a freinds son!

What an awful mother I am. Lots of people leave there children with people who they know are decent but haven't properly met.

Was that comment really needed?