My Dh wants to charge my DS £5.00 per day rent!!

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My DS is 19 he has 2 part time jobs -supermarket earns around £500 p/m the other is bar work which he is paid cash plus a few tips but isn't regular hours each week.

My DH (not his dad) says he should pay his way and wants to charge £5 per day. I'm all for him contributing but is this too much? My DS thinks it's an unfair amount and it's starting to cause arguments. Just wondered if anyone had any advice?

I was paying £25 a week when I was at college 1987-89. I had a part-time job and it was an easy course.

My mother simply couldn't afford to keep me for nothing. She was newly divorced and the family had just gone bankrupt.

It was good practice for the real world though.

I think that % wise it is probably more than the average but still allows him £350++ for commuting costs and whatever else he fancies.

When I last lived at home I think I paid £200 incl bills and washing but excluding food so I didn't have to be home for dinner. I was bringing in about £1200 IIRC.

If your son thinks it's too much he could move elsewhere. £35 per week is nothing.

I don't understand the charging of your own kids to carry on living in their homes. Certainly if you can afford not to. It's a bit different if you are skint but I wouldn't dream of charging DS1 who is working anything to live here. He is 19 and most weeks takes home about £350.but saves a good chunk of it.

It's good to charge, teaches budgeting. At 16 years I paid £50 a month. When I moved out my parents have the whole lot back to me as a bulk sum, so I actually had been saving £50 a month

Tricky. I can see both sides.
I paid £200 out of £600 in the late 90's. I like the secret save idea.

Are there other DC? Will they be charged £5 a day when they reach 19? Does it matter if they have jobs or will only the working ones pay?

I used to pay £50 a week rent! And I had a simular wage

Artandco tbf if my DC ever live with us I might tell them they're paying 'rent' but secretly save it up and hand it back to them. Assuming we don't actually need it for household supplies of course....

Is he at college?

I think that your DH is reasonable. My DS is working part time, I don't charge him rent on the understanding that he is saving money; as soon as he gets paid he puts all but £100 in his savings account for extras that he wants - he's paying for his own driving lessons and (bless him) has just offered to pay for the MOT for my car because I give him lifts to work.

oh, and I forgot - if he did pay rent then I'd be saving it for him for a car/university/deposit for a house or whatever.

I assume he working part time around studying? It sounds like you would be unhappy to charge him anything? How about a compromise? Son is in charge of a particular bill, or pays for all of the bread/milk/cereal whatever. That way he learns responsibility and chips in a bit. Certainly he should take charge of his laundry including bed linen, although it is sometimes easier to chuck a load of everyones in. If he is studying he sounds a hard working lad, but he should be chipping in to the household in some way.

I must admit I don't like calling it rent. And I'm not sure what we would do with DS as we don't need th money. My parents however did. Well my mum did. It really helped her so I didn't begrudge it. And everyone I knew did it.

I do feel that all adults in the home need to contribute somehow. Whether that be certain chores or cooking or doing a shop or whatever. But it is so hard for many people to get on the housing ladder these days that maybe ensuring they save or saving for them is the way to go. Otherwise they might be there forever!

Wow thanks for the response everyone.

He was at uni but still living at home, he quit after several months as didn't like the course he was doing. My Dh and I supported him with his decision as he was so unhappy but he had to get a job as he certainly wasn't sitting about all day doing nothing while we were both out working all day.

Yes Scarriff their relationship can be frosty at times with DS not pulling his weight DS has just left the house and not washed up the things he used to cook his breakfast and lunch. I seem to play peacemaker quite a few times.

I myself do not like using the words 'charging rent' as this is his home. But seeing all your responses I think a £5 contribution is reasonable.

I will get him to look around at the rental market and see if he can do better when he starts moaning.

2 x dss 1 x ds (2 working 1 uni) none pay rent. Eldest is at Uni and both younger ones have done apprenticeships so not really earning well...

I was never charged and therefore don't feel comfortable charging for kids/adults in their own home. Per haps if we needed the money it would be different but I want them to always know they are wanted (may change my mind if they are all still here in a few years ). 2 DSS have the option of living with their DM and so I didn't want to start a competition either (that IS how it would have gone..)

The decision is yours it's your son, you make the rules.

I paid 100 of my net-income of 700 25 year ago plus more if the phone bill exceeded a certain amount (long distance boyfriend).

I think it is fair to learn that things do cost money but on the other hand it is still his home.

My parents gave me the money back when I moved out, a generous gesture.

How is he generally with his money? Is he able to save for trips, clothes, deposit for moving out? If not then I would sit down with him and try to make a plan, saving plus some rent to you, own phone bill etc. If he is savy with money than I would charge him the £5/day.

I paid £50 a week ten years ago. I remmeber being royally pissed off about it too!

If you've left full time education you should be contributing to the house. £35 a week is more than reasonable - I used to pay my Dad that much when I got my first job. I should have paid more (at least double), but he knew I was saving up to cover costs of volunteering abroad, so he carried on subbing me while I did.

I also don't understand this obsession with charging your DC unless of course you desperately need the money , and the secretly saving it is a bollocks idea ,it's not teaching them anything , teaching them to save is a much more sensible idea . I never paid my parents anything and I've managed to budget quite happily - it's not rocket science .

As a single working parent I lost almost £300pm in tax credits, family allowance, etc when DD became 19. That was a quarter of my income. I still had the same mortgage, utility bills, food bills etc to pay.

My DD paid £100pm 'keep' into the household fund. It certainly helped me out.

I am not opposed to the idea of adult children paying their way if they are working (good budget lesson) but you don't want to create a scenario whereby they cannot afford to spend the money on what they want I.e clothes/leisure activities/social life, which is presumably why you wanted them to work in the first place.
I think it's also worth looking at how much time they are in the house, how much are they actually costing you? If he has two jobs, one of which is an evening job, does he eat often with you?
Perhaps rather than £5 a day, why not £75-100 per month?

If he was in college l wouldn't but expect him to save. But he is out of education. In the real world now. I presume you are feeding him. Does he drive a car? I would ask him for 100 a month to start and say it's food electricity etc not rent.And tell him it goes up come Christmas. He needs to pay. I'm in lreland so not a British thing only. But he can't live off someone now he is working.

Who charges rent per day?

Seriously £35 per week seems low. The going rate of housekeeping was about £200 a month 15 years ago when I was 18. Now the office juniors at my work pay about £350