14 yo refusing to come home

[bobalinga]

My 14 yo daughter has just phoned from a friends house and is refusing to come home becuase I wouldn't ket her go to a party. Its 1am and the police have been called.
Anyone been through this?
What happened?
She says she wants to live at her friends house. The dad (single dad) wouldn't come to the phone - he's a drunk hippy.
Now what?

Well, DD was mean on IM earlier and said cruel things. She told her brother she doesn'r care who she hurts as long as she gets her own way. DH reckons she has psychological problems. I seemed to have spent the last few years defending her behaviour and she pays me back with cruelty.
She's still with this bloke but he has told social services he doesn't want her there. He called her Grandparents and said he doesn't want her there. But he hasn't told DD and he's telling freinds that he didn't say that at all. But he's manipulative too. He told the Grandparents that he appreciated them talking to him then told social services they were unco-operative.
I've had enough now. I've told SS that I want her taken into care right now (you would not believe how crap they are at doing this!). I don't want her back when she is like she is. The SW told me I should tell her where she is going to live but here in the real world....!
I am so hurt now and fed up with this. I still love her but I don't want to let her hurt me like this or damage her brothers. Its my duty to make sure she is safe so I will do that and then try and leave it.
I am now beginning to believe that maybe she does have problems and nothing I do will ever change that. Yet all my 'friends' who are rallying around her havn't seen this side yet and seem to think i'm making it up!
I had to tell SS that I dind'r want her back in order to force them to act. They told me that if a 14 yo is welcome to go back home they don't act even if she is drifting from house to house. Yet if we, as parents, can't get her to be safe then surely they should be acting? I feel totally let down now by everyone and everything and finding it very hard to cope with this

Have you tried involving other people, such as contacting your MP? Talk to your local councillors and point out that, just because your dd is 14, it doesn't mean that lack of SS action won't lead to another Victoria Climbie or similar. 14 is still a vulnerable age and the fact that they let her stay with a single unrelated male is really quite beyond belief.

What checks have they done on this man? What references have they obtained? Does this mean that any child can go and live with anyone else and SS will just allow it, even if the parents are against it?

Srrms that way Freckle.

any more news?