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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Christmas sleeping arrangements! My kids not happy, help!

128 replies

Jojorobrob · 20/12/2015 18:50

Hello, I have 3 daughters of my own, I am divorced and have a wonderful partner who I've been with for 3 years, who is widowed and has 2 children. Over Christmas I want them all to stay with me, and they want to, but my eldest daughter has really kicked off over sleeping arrangements, ie, my second eldest daughter will need to give up her room for a few days and move in to my eldest daughters room. I feel I should stand my ground on this as it is my house, I pay the mortgage, and surely what I say goes?? But i'm a pushover and I have ended up telling my partner that he cant come over Xmas. My kids have their own way and are happy now, but i'm devastated that I cant see my partner and I cant stop crying. We want to move in together over the next couple of years too and I just cant see it happening with my daughters acting this way and kicking off until they get their own way?! I just want one big happy family. Can anyone advise me what to do please? Am I being completely selfish? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Getit · 20/12/2015 18:57

I can't believe that you have allowed your dd's to control and end your plans with your partner of 3 years!!
You should of put your foot down .
How must your partner feel about it all ?

Getit · 20/12/2015 18:58

They are being selfish not you .

Chasingsquirrels · 20/12/2015 19:00

How old are they?

Kelsoooo · 20/12/2015 19:00

How old are your children? Because theyre behaving dreadfully.

SavoyCabbage · 20/12/2015 19:01

How old is she?

VintageDresses · 20/12/2015 19:02

Agree, sometimes you just have to tell them how it's going to be.

My teens will be "camping" in dsis' conservatory for three nights Grin

Original poster
Jojorobrob · 20/12/2015 19:04

21, 15 and 9. My partner thinks i'm too soft too, and hes devastated that I've made this decision, as I am

OP posts:
Chasingsquirrels · 20/12/2015 19:05

sorry, just realised it's in teens - so at least 13.
You have been together for 3 years, presumably they have all met etc. Do they get on?

But yes - tell them what's happening.

Chasingsquirrels · 20/12/2015 19:05

21???
Are there other issues between your daughter & partner?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 20/12/2015 19:06

It's not too late to change your mind. Your oldest daughter is an adult and should know better, and you were v foolish to pander to her. Tell her that, on reflection, you need her to behave like an adult and will need her room.

EeyoresTail · 20/12/2015 19:07

Could the 9 year old go in with the 15 year old?

ilovesooty · 20/12/2015 19:07

Perhaps your 21 year old needs to consider moving out if she wants to dictate like that.

Just tell them it's happening whether they like it or not.

atticusclaw2 · 20/12/2015 19:08

Blimey. Tell your eldest daughter that she either shares with her sister or else she sleeps on the sofa! What a madam!

Nyancat · 20/12/2015 19:09

I would tell your daughters to suck it up, if it's simply an objection to sharing for a few days your 21 year old in particular is being ridiculous.

BitOfFun · 20/12/2015 19:09

Just change your mind. It is allowed. Why should your Christmas be spoiled by somebody else's selfishness?

kilmuir · 20/12/2015 19:10

STOP being a doormat.
tell them what is happening. At 21 she is an adult, if she wants to sulk all holiday, let her.
Feel sorry for your partner

TotalConfucius · 20/12/2015 19:11

I'd get the suitcases out of the loft and put them in the hall. When your grown woman of a daughter asks why the suitcases, explain that you and the two children are going to stay with/at a nearby hotel to your partner for Xmas.

livvylongpants · 20/12/2015 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklycat · 20/12/2015 19:12

21 and she's having a strip about sharing for a couple of nights?? Totally unreasonable. It's your house and at that age she should be living out of the home or paying you rent. If she was paying rent she might have some tiny cause to whinge (but shouldn't!) and if she is not the. Lay down the law and say it's your house so your rules. Or get her a tent for the garden.

Chewbecca · 20/12/2015 19:12

Goodness me, is the decision reversible? Please reverse it.

Sparklycat · 20/12/2015 19:12

Strop not strip!!

kilmuir · 20/12/2015 19:13

and i have teenage daughters so know they need telling whats happening whether they like it or not sometimes!

BlueBlueBelles · 20/12/2015 19:14

Either a. Put the 15 and 9 year old in together or b. Tell the 21 year old to grow the fuck up tbh.

Please tell your partner and his children to come. Do not be dictated to by your children. You're not asking for this to be a permanent arrangement. It's two to three nights at christmas. How much is the 21 yr old really going to be there?!

INeedNewShoes · 20/12/2015 19:14

21! Unbelievable!

That is inexcusable behaviour from an adult (actually, in my view, from anyone of any age).

Giving in to this will has given your daughters all the information they need to know that if they whinge enough you will give in.

SirChenjin · 20/12/2015 19:15

Your eldest DD is being completely unreasonable - no doubt about it.

I would suggest that you take a deep breath, stand up tall, shoulders back and tell her that you've had a rethink - your DP is coming to stay for Christmas and she will be sharing a room. If she doesn't like it then she's welcome to sleep elsewhere. Friends? Travel lodge?