Reported for abuse by 17 year old daughter UPDATE

[marieisme123]

Hi. Update on previous thread. Social services were contacted by my daughter. Social worker went to see her at her nan's yesterday. Had phone call from her dad and the social worker. D is adamant she won't come home or even allow ss to mediate. They have offered her accommodation in a family home - whatever that is. Prob. take weeks to sort out while she stays with her nan. I am livid atm - feels like a massive kick in the teeth. Still, it's out of my hands now - let them see if they can help her as I so obviously failed. Tbh I'm thinking about moving way now and breaking all contact

please take care of yourself...I'm not sure why you can't cancel her iphone 6 contract though or ask for it back - if she wants all the freedom of being an adult she needs to fund/sort it herself.....

Unless anyone knows different I don't think I can cancel it without paying off the contract, still has another 18 months to go. I suppose I could ask for it back and use it myself, not that she would give it to me. Or maybe her dad or nan could pay for it haha

Best of luck Marie. You are dealing with a dreadful situation but I hope things improve for you real soon

Very best of luck.
This will be no comsolation right now, but I can think many people ranging from when I was a teenager to those of my dc's age who had very difficult adolescences but grew up to be loving family members and useful members of society.
At the moment you must look after yourself. You sound like a lovely person and one day your dd will see that you are a loving mother who wanted the best for her.

It will be ok in the end, just hang in there. Know that you are the better person. Xx

The visit to collect belongings must be supervised. Make it clear to SS that none of your property is to be removed and that the iPhone needs to be returned undamaged or the contract taken over by another adult. Contact phone provider and make sure usage is capped.

How's it going marie?

Marie I can totally sympathize I also have 17yr old D she is a complete nightmare she is disrespectful never does a thing I ask selfish steals from us refuses to eat at meal times but then comes down in middle of night and helps herself which has given her a massive weight problem is argumentative is always snipping nasty comments at her older brother and sister and my partner blames me for wrecking her childhood by getting a divorce flys off the handle at the slightest thing thinks her opinion is the only one that counts and if you have an alternate one that you are not supporting her we feel like we are constantly walking on egg shells less she have one of her frequent meltdowns my partner grounded her last night as she was told to lay off her sister as she is currently grieving at which point she flew into a rage and ran into her sisters room screaming and shouting then when she got grounded decided to go out and told us we couldn't ground her as she is 17 and its illegal in my anger as she was leaving I told her if she wanted to live under my roof then she had to live under my rules and accept that I am the parent and if she didn't want to she was quite welcome to find somewhere else to live anyway long story short she informed us that she is moving into supported living on Monday I'm shocked and infuriated no one has spoken to us from social services surely I would even know if she hadn't said something I'm so angry that this is what it has come to in this country that wayward teenagers who don't want to do as they are told (I'm not unreasonable want to know when she will be home and that she is not walking around in the dark and ask for a bit of help round the house as in clearing her own stuff up!) Can just get the state to fund there tantrums! God only knows how she has managed to arrange a place in 4 days I dread to think what she has said about me and my partner so I understand how angry worried and hurt you are feeling all at the same time!

coribeth i wd contaci ss to see if this is true. Also you need a thread of your own so we can respond to you properly and not confuse marie's thread. If you click on report at the top of your message, you can ask mn to set up a thread for you. You will get more responses and good ideas as your sit is not the same as this one.

Hi amarmai and anyone else still following this thread :)
Haven't heard anything for 11 days. Stopped phoning D after threats of reporting me for harrassment. Stopped phoning ex husband after he put the phone down on me twice 'for ranting.' Not bothered with SS as they haven't got the courtesy to keep me informed.
Ex husband phones me today to ask if he and D can pop round to get her guitar. I said no and tell her she needs to arrange to collect all her stuff in one go with SS present at a time convenient to me.
Ex h said she has been to see the supported lodgings and SS are sorting it out for her to move in in the next couple of weeks. That will be 10 WEEKS since all this started. Apparently 'the lady' is really nice and they have a couple of dogs. So she is happy to live in the house of a nice stranger while her mum is devastated and her own little dog continues to miss her terribly. So be it.
Me? I have sorted out my finances and I should be alright to stay living here if I can earn a bit more from my business. At least I have the time and peace to do that now without her continuous drama.

I am coming to terms with it at best I can but it is still very, very hard to accept that she reported me for abuse and tried to get me sectioned. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive that.

i like the way you sound Marie! Keep on the path of looking after yourself- which you well know means protecting yourself from your d. Little by little you are going to build a new life. Your d will return to you when life teaches her the lessons it teaches all of us. Be well , be happy, be safe.

CORIBETH: So sorry about your problems with your D. I don't think she could arrange to move to spported living accommodation within 4 days. Have you tried contacting SS? I had to chase them about my D as they didn't contact me at all. It should be under local social services Children's Services
or similar. Good luck.

Yes did speak to ss today and she is moving in Monday am very angry that no one has even bother to let us know as far as I am concerned they are basically enabling her the sw I spoke to was very nice and when I explained the situation she said she has another thing coming if she thinks she won't have to live by the rules here and when I explained the sheltered existence she has had and how unstreet wise she is her words were she is in for a rude awakening she also told me that they have £57 a week to live on have to give 15 in rent so are living on about 6 a day she is at performing arts college and that's the price of a pair of ballet tights she has never gone without so hope that this is a passing phase and she will realise in the meantime that she's not so badly done by here! Sorry to here things are still crap I understand how hurt and angry you must feel, glad that you have sorted your finances out though that at least must be some weight off your shoulders good luck and hope things improve for you!

Stay strong Marie and make the most of having some time to yourself.

Take care Marie. I agree that teenagers can be little shits but they grow out of it in time in the meantime think about yourself. Look after yourself and just remember that she is your daughter and when she's gone through where she is now she'll need you as a mum.

Keep it up ladies xx