DS has rescued a teenage girl who lost her friends. Now what?

[CQ]

He's in town with a group of friends, big event in our town this weekend so lots of teenagers milling about. Friends (all boys) coming back to stay as arranged. All 16.

DS has just called to ask if it's ok for a girl to come and crash. She's 16, he knows her from school, she's lost her friends in town and can't get home.

I've told him she needs to call her parents and give them my number so they can call me and verify.

But how will I know she's done this? I can put her in a spare room but I won't be able to hear if there's any 'corridor creeping' going on after I'm in bed.

As the mother of a girl I really want to talk to this girls parents. What if she doesn't want me to? I can hardly chuck her out, I want her to be safe. But she might really not want her parents to know she's been so daft. But I would want to know.

WWYD?

They are on their way now - about 15 mins on foot.

I'm putting pizzas in the oven to soak up the alcohol.

She told us her parents knew where she was.

And that was your opportunity to confirm this with her parents. How could they know where she was? Do they know you?

maybe your indulgence is the reason alcohol 'is the least of my worries'

CQ these teenagers don't come with a manual. I think you did the right thing. Whatever the rights and wrongs they were all safe and you didn't make a drama out of it. Mine are 17 and 18 and I'm with you on this one.

Teal you know nothing about me.

What did I enable, exactly? A good night's sleep in a safe bed, on her own?

I am not indulgent, I am a realist.

Can't lock them up till they're 18.

Thanks Lolimax.

She's 16 not 12 :S
Obviously your son isn't some random murderer/psycho off the street, so she'd have been perfectly safe and she's SIXTEEN it doesn't matter where her parents think she is surely that's her problem if they are mad? Really the worst thing that can happen is that she and one of the boys had sex but they are 16 so whilst kinda weird to think about is fine and legal.

I found a drunk gir in town whi had lost her friends l and had to take her to mine with my friends when i was 15ish, we were all drinking etc but she was from London so a 50 min train away and had no money, my parents were fi e with it and just took her to the station the next day, it was fine and no one impregnated anyone. 16 year olds aren't little kids, though they are of course still kids so as long as they're safe then its fine.

Get a fucking grip you lot.

She's 16. I was living independently at that point. Insisting on calling her parents indeed!

They were getting up for work in the morning.

If you treat them like babies that is what you will get.

Er - you asked a group of people who ALL know nothing about you to opine on these events....

I had a full time job at 16 and was out nightclubbing in Birmingham the whole time.

i had three grandchildren, an allotment and a mortgage at 16

Dear god, there are some hysterical people on this thread, making stuff up reading between the lines and making assumptions.

I don't get it Teal is that Michael Jackson?

I think you handled it really well OP.

If she didn't want to phone her parents that's between her and her parents. I know mine would have wanted to, but for some reason this girl didn't, maybe she'd get into deep trouble for getting drunk or losing her friend? All we know is that she didn't want to contact them.

Your Ds did I a lovely thing in looking after her and making sure she was ok.

I HAD HIM TOO

( at 16)

You sound lovely, OP :)

Drinking now FAR harder for teens than it was in the 80s.
very hard to buy

Most 16 year olds arent living independently at that age and its not something parents aim for either for good reason, so i dont know what point youre making. Also most parents dont aim for their 16 year olds to be clubbing and drinking. The fact that many of us were doesnt mean its fine and never worry that there might be a pair of frantic parents on the verge of calling the police because their daughter's friend jane called to say she lost touch with claire hours ago and she'd been drinking.

I need to have words with my parents. They didn't think anything of me clubbing at 16.

Making pizza to soak up the alcohol ... For 16 year olds? Lord almighty. That's awful.

thats the thing Sparkers - its VERY different now. Clubs and pubs far warier

Good god, no, I didn't make it. Just heated up some Tesco ones.

Don't worry, it's quite obvious that's what you did. Making pizza/putting in oven/heating up - same kind of thing to me.

Bless, I thought you meant making it from scratch, you know, like a proper mother would do.

Not an enabling, neglectful, and frankly probably lawbreaking mother like me.