rumgy I feel that as all things in life a sliding scale is needed to transition from child to adult and all of the responcability of safeguarding oneself in the process. So each step is a two way thing, child wishes for more autonomy and independence, the parent or guardian helps to facilitate this whist keeping safe boundaries in place.
So dd who is 12 will expect me to be able to access her and monitor her electronic activities. I do not allow social media (apart from email, text and a joint game) at this point in her development, but she has direct access to say my Netflix acc and can watch age appropriate material (I do allow some 15's as long as they are non violent/graphic, I am ok with things like Bridget Jones's diary). She can look up on imbd the breakdown of what the age limit is and why, she will come to me if she is unsure.
I never sensor paper books, she has shown to me that she will only read what she is interested in and she does not like any violence.
When she is ready to tack next step, she will come to me and together we will go through things.
As my dc get older I will walk with them on navigating the internet, they are aware of my past investigations and what I have learned. They also are aware that I am able to get into most computers and can access deleted stuff and hidden files.
I feel trust is an important part of this learning curve, i am sure given how my dc respond/act out things that should there be an issue I will be able to step in.
I have a lot of respect for my dc, they know that I strive to be fair and to keep them safe.
42 you would be surprised at how awful things on line can be, I once helped a woman who was targeted due to online bullying, her ds had to stay with his aunty as this womans home was not safe. Another woman had a brick thrown through her window when her addy was put on a public forum, both women were innocent. Another person had recieved death threats from a particuly nasty group of on line 'gamers'.
I have helped to uncover all sorts of activity, a lot of very unpleasent stuff, some of which I have had to pass on to the authorities.
The safety on the internet should never be minimised.