I've had my DD 16 arrested - I feel like shit

[Doinmummy]

After many many problems with my DD 16 I has her arrested today. I feel like shit. We're undergoing a programme called MST and it's really really tough. She blew up at me one time too many, I has to leave the house in just my dressing gown.

When I came home I found my daughter gone , my bedroom trashed along with the Christmas tree smashed to pieces. She's also found and taken all her Christmas presents with her.

I did manage to get her to go but when we got there she kicked off because she said she didn't realise it was an appt for just her. I ended up going in with her . The therapist was excellent , I really liked her but DD has refused to see her again .

Sounds like your dd is not ready to accept help although she does know that she needs it. If she doesn't want help and doesn't want to stop smoking weed then there is not much you can do, you can't force a 16 year old, she has to get to the point where she is ready for help, sadly that point could be a very bad place ( before she realises how bad things are ). All you can do is offer to be there when she is ready to see someone, tell her you will go with her if that's what she wants. I don't think this will happen whilst she is with the boyfriend .

Doin this video explains a LOT about your dd's behaviour - it's long and stuffy and it probably won't change anything but it might help you see things slightly differently. If you can get DD to watch it that might also help her.

Short version

www.ted.com/talks/sarah_jayne_blakemore_the_mysterious_workings_of_the_adolescent_brain

Thanks for the link , I've watched this before , it's very interesting and does explain a lot . I'll see if DD will watch it. Anything to try and help .

I know you won't thank me for saying this but I have a feeling this will get a lot worse before better. She needs to reach rock bottom and you are still enabling her. I say this from experience and I know it's hard.