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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How do you get your teenager to put their own bowls, cups etc. in the dishwashwer and turn the lights off?

88 replies

AskBasil · 27/01/2014 12:40

Is this too trivial to ask about?

It just pisses me off. It takes 5 seconds to put your own bowl in the dishwasher. It takes 1 second to flick the switch on your way out of the room.

I feel like I can't leave for work until the DC's leave for school as there will be food left out, lights on etc., all day if I'm not the last to leave. But I'd rather get to work earlier so that I can leave earlier. Can't do that until I know the DC's will do those basic things before they leave the house.

Anyone had any success in getting their kids to do this?

OP posts:
Middleagedmotheroftwo · 27/01/2014 12:42

You're fighting a losing battle. I gave up ages ago, having decided there are bigger things to worry about. It does annoy me though.

Sparklingbrook · 27/01/2014 12:45

When I go upstairs when I come back from the school run every single light upstairs is on, all curtains still closed and TVs on.

I ask them to do it but they don't.

AphraBane · 27/01/2014 12:48
Weegiemum · 27/01/2014 12:48

Same here. It's the half-finished jobs driving me insane! Cat fed but empty pouch beside the bin. Lunches made but all makings thereof on the work top. Fridge door open. Dishes right above the dishwasher but not in it. And lights! Dh wants a motion sensor light for ds's room. We've taken to calling it the "Eye of Sauron" because it is always watching! Dh is threatening to paint an orange eye on the light shade at the weekend!!

GemmaTeller · 27/01/2014 12:50

Agree with fighting a losing battle.

DSD (23) came home from uni the other week and every single light in every room was on at one stage -

she went in the kitchen for a can of cola - kitchen light on
no cans in fridge so had to go to garage for some
walked through dining room, light on
garage is via front porch, porch light on,
garage, light on
come back and leave all lights on.
go in bathroom, leave light on
go in bedroom, leave light on
went in our bedroom to see cat, leave light on
went in my sewing room, leave light on

She does, however, wash up.

Enb76 · 27/01/2014 12:50

It's a bit late now but you train them when they're very small. My 5 year old automatically turns the light off when leaving a room. Been training her since she was on my hip - leave the room, turn off the light.

Original poster
AskBasil · 27/01/2014 12:51

Arf, I like the eye of Sauron idea.

Hmm, lights sensor...

But really, why is it so difficult?

Is it possible to bribe them?

OP posts:
Original poster
AskBasil · 27/01/2014 12:54

Hate to tell you Enb, my DC's also used to turn off lights etc., when they were 5.

It's only in the last couple of years that it's become an issue.

What happens to them?

OP posts:
Middleagedmotheroftwo · 27/01/2014 12:55

Bribery doesn't work, neither does grounding, confiscation of electronic devices, removal of wifi etc etc. Works for a couple of days, then back to normal. I'm sure it's just a phase, and as long as they're not smoking and drinking on the streets at 11pm, and generally home by the time they say, and homework is up to date, I've decided that life's too short.
They'll have their own homes one day, and I'll be able to say "I told you so..." to my heart's content.

FuckyNell · 27/01/2014 12:58

Yes I agree with middleaged.

I remember being the same and I've turned out alright.

The fucking floordrobe is my worst rage inducer. I now cope by putting clean clothes outside the door do I don't even have to go in Grin

springlamb · 27/01/2014 12:58

Take their bedroom lightbulbs out and leave a wind-up torch on their bedside table.
Buy really cheap paper plates, the ones that gravy soaks through and tell them to eat off their laps in their darkened bedrooms.
Blimey I've got a real downer on teenagers today.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 27/01/2014 13:00

But FuckyNell, doesn't it annoy you when you put things outside bedroom doors, and the teenagers walk over them for several days!!!! That's what happens in our house anyway.

Original poster
AskBasil · 27/01/2014 13:04

Grin Springlamb

I used to do all that stuff of "let's clear up toys now"... "if you're taking this one out, does that mean you've finsihed with that one, so it can go back in" etc.

All for nothing. Utterly pointless. Why did I bother.

Thing is, I know for some it's a phase and no problem. But for me, it wasn't. It took me about 30 years to find out how to organise my environment so that it worked and was comfortable for me. I just don't want my DC's to have that experience.

OP posts:
FuckyNell · 27/01/2014 13:07

Yes I agree it does middle. I cope with this by saying a few nice words whilst laying them on the floor. Thereby absolving myself of any responsibility towards them Wink

I also sniff EVERYTHING that they occasionally put in the washing basket. I think my neighbours must think my kids are called "clean" by the way I shout it out with such regular monotony Smile

TantrumsAndBalloons · 27/01/2014 13:08

Please, if you find the answer tell me.

I came home on Friday. Every upstairs light was on. The kitchen light was on.
I went to make a cup of coffee. No cups, no teaspoons, no milk.
The cups were in their bedrooms. I refuse to bring them out. So I drank my coffee from the insulated mug I take to football.
They got home from school "mum there's no cups"
Yes I know. Go and find them.
I haven't taken a cup upstairs said both of them.

Ok fine, the cup fairy took them

"But what shall we doooooo?"

Go and check your bedroom

Dd had 4 cups, ds1 had 6.

Why?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 27/01/2014 13:10

Oh and the stairs?

I left a pile of ds1 stuff at the top of the stairs, right outside his room on Wednesday night.

It's still there. I refuse to touch it

Original poster
AskBasil · 27/01/2014 13:13

Right I posted 45 minutes ago and so far, no-one has come on and said their teenager behaves like a normally adjusted house-mate.

Am not sure whether to feel cheered or depressed about that. Grin

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 27/01/2014 13:13

DS1 (14) takes his pants and trousers off together and leaves them on his floordrobe. Sad

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 27/01/2014 13:14

AskBasil... dream on!!!

It's apparently much easier to tidy up by putting stuff in the laundry basket than it is to put it on a hanger in the wardrobe. May not ever have been worn.
I often take clothes out of the laundry basket, fold them nicely and put them back in bedrooms. No-one has ever noticed.

Sparklingbrook · 27/01/2014 13:15

Feel cheered. Although there's bound to be someone along shortly with perfect teenagers who do everything ours don't plus extra chores like putting the bins out and cleaning the loo.

Original poster
AskBasil · 27/01/2014 13:15

I bought them big tubs to chuck clothes into so they could sort them out later Sparkling.

Big tub stands gloriously empty while clothes pile up around it. Grin

OP posts:
impty · 27/01/2014 13:15

So mine are trained enough to occasionally put bowls, mugs etc downstairs. Where they leave them on the worktop ABOVE the dishwasher.

Lights never get turned off, and showers last 30 minutes minimum. But if I don't recycle every single thing I can expect a lecture from my offspring....

TantrumsAndBalloons · 27/01/2014 13:16

I do that .
Sniff the clothes, fold them, put them upstairs.

Clean clothes do not need washing.

FuckyNell · 27/01/2014 13:16

My daughter was horrified at the mould growing in her coffee cup. The cheeky mare wanted me to wash it!!!

Eww muuuuuum go on pleeeeaaasssee! I love you mum. Eyes. Want a cuppa mum?

I DIDNT ASK TO BE BORN!!!

impty · 27/01/2014 13:16

Knickers in tights.... why do they think I want to separate them 42 million times a week?