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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Do your teens swear in front of you? And do you swear in front of them?

75 replies

treehouselover · 14/10/2013 22:24

Just something I'm pondering tonight. My DD is almost 12 and hasn't ever sworn in front of me (not since she was 2 and couldn't say fork very clearly!)

I was brought up to not swear in front of my parents, and I still never have. I swear plenty in front of other people, but I've always known my Mum wouldn't like it, so I don't.

I know lots of families of older teens and grown children who swear in day to day conversation in front of each other like I do with my friends. I don't mean calling them names and screaming at them, I mean a swearword if they drop their toast kind of thing.

So do you tolerate a few swear words in normal day to day life, and if so when do you start accepting it?

OP posts:

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/10/2013 22:26

Oh yes.

The shame.

Bowlersarm · 14/10/2013 22:27

I hardly ever swear in RL. (Have twice on here today which is very very rare for me, was getting cross on a few threads!)

Eldest DS is 17 occasionally swears in front of us, but I pull him up on it if it becomes more than very occasional.

OddBoots · 14/10/2013 22:29

No and no, I haven't sworn in front of my parents either and my mum has been with me for 5 births. We aren't really sweary people.

insanityscratching · 14/10/2013 22:29

No my children aged 26 to 10 don't swear in my presence and I don't swear in front of them. I never swore in front of my parents either.

Lindor · 14/10/2013 22:29

No, i don't and DC don't swear in front of me , but i think they do with their friends

usualsuspect · 14/10/2013 22:30

Yes and yes.

usualsuspect · 14/10/2013 22:31

We are quite a sweary family.

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/10/2013 22:33

So when you are driving and someone else drives like a complete twat what do you say?

BrigitBigKnickers · 14/10/2013 22:34

I have a 17 and 15 year old. The worst they have ever said in front of me is bloody.

Until very recently I haven't sworn in front of them but recently an expletive slipped out when I was in the car and some idiot nearly caused an accident. I blame the menopause- it is making me a little more ragey!

VivaLeThrustBadger · 14/10/2013 22:37

I swear quite a bit. Dh doesn't at all and is shocked by my potty mouth. Dd has picked up my bad habits.

OneStepCloser · 14/10/2013 22:41

Yes and yes, but not fuck or cunt. Fuck is only used on very special occassions. DH doesnt swear, unless really cross or finds someones nicked the last biscuit.

Original poster

treehouselover · 14/10/2013 22:43

I don't actually mind that much if dd starts swearing a bit in front of me when she's older but i think i'd worry that she won't then be able to switch it off in certain situations eg school or work.

I could always check it when necessary even when i was really pissed off about something.

OP posts:

ThePuffyShirt · 14/10/2013 22:43

I am very sweary. Never at the kids but in their presence, since birth!

My 15 year old has never sworn in front of me or dh.

Lindor · 14/10/2013 22:43

oops, forgot about the car. Well apart from when driving, I don't swear in front of my teenage kids

eddiemairswife · 14/10/2013 22:47

I don't swear, simply because I didn't hear people swearing when I was growing up and it isn't part of my vocabulary; in the same way I don't say 'like' every other word. My adult children probably swear, but like me they didn't hear swearing at home when they were young. My granddaughter, then aged 9, once said to me, "Don't listen to this music Grandma. It's got bad words in it." It was Black-Eyed Peas. In fact the most swearing I come across is on Mumsnet.

Heymacarena · 14/10/2013 22:51

Mmm I try not to. But sometimes can't help it. I try and keep it to shit, bugger etc. Nothing too fruity.

DS is 15 now - and it's strange, but I find it quite endearing when he does a little swear. It's always well considered and thought out beforehand. As if he is testing me to see if he can get away with it, in that particular context.

I don't often swear in front of my DM though. We weren't allowed to.

BackforGood · 14/10/2013 22:55

No and No.
But that's not 'special' for my dc, I don't swear in life, except in very, very rare circumstances. Can't see the need.

monkeyfacegrace · 14/10/2013 23:05

I swear like a trooper.

My 5 and 7 yr olds say a few choice words, but only with me, and in context. Quite proud of my son declaring that yes, he was being an arse :-)

soimpressed · 14/10/2013 23:13

I swear in front of my DS who is 8 but only since he has learnt swear words at school. He has a swear box for me so I try not to do it too often! Funnily enough I only use the words my own mum uses - sod, bugger, bloody. She also still uses these words in front of my DS even though she is a typical grandma in every other way. My DS doesn't swear at home though as I explain to him that it can become a habit and he would get into trouble at school. I also tell him that it's bloody rude to swear.

MollyRoses · 14/10/2013 23:17

Are twat and bloody swear words?

Not that I use either but I thought swearing was other things - I don't ever swear even when things go badly. I think it's just because I'm not used to it rather than any judgement on anyone that does swear

BOF · 14/10/2013 23:22

A little bit, probably under my breath- never "at" anyone though. My daughter is 17. She doesn't swear in front of me. I do remember when she was 12 or so and gossiping in the back of the car with DP's one year older son, and we all went quiet when she finished her anecdote with the flourish "And he said to him, 'fuck off, you racist twat!'"

It was such a shock from her butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her mouth persona. I was helpless with shocked laughter and couldn't even tell her off .

Custardo · 14/10/2013 23:23

when they do i tell 'em to fucking shut it

BOF · 14/10/2013 23:28

This thread reminds me of a story my mum tells from her days as a teacher, when a Year 1 child came to her on playground duty sobbing that so-and-so had sworn at them. She tried to get him to say what the word was, but he wouldn't say. "Just tell me what it begins with", she coaxed. "Th", the child said. She racked her brains to think of a rude word beginning with 'th'. She had to admit defeat and told him to just whisper it to her. "Miss, he told me to...to...thod off!"

nooka · 14/10/2013 23:28

My parents don't/didn't swear. Expletives were rarely used and very very tame (not even minor religious swears). The funny thing is if I swear without thinking about it I am most likely to use those family words, which then makes everyone else I know laugh. I don't think I have every 'proper' sweared in front of either of them.

dh thinks I have a bit of a potty mouth at times, and I don't particularly guard myself around my teenagers. Neither of our children swear much around us, although there is a fair amount of fricking/fudging going on when they are deep into stressful games. ds says he doesn't swear much but dd says she does.

NoComet · 14/10/2013 23:35

Yes and yes
DH doesn't swear much, but doesn't bother about the rest of us.

Only three rules, no violent, non joking swearing at parent or sibling

No swearing in public or in front of non swearing visitors.

No C word. I don't think they actually know it (well DD1(15) may, she knows a lot more than she lets on), but it's a word I've never really heard outside MN and Feminist debates. Must frequent nice places [tlhhmm]

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