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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Bit sad today. 14 year old DS.

150 replies

Sparklingbrook · 24/08/2013 09:11

DS1 (14) has spent the holidays at home, in the house. He hasn't made any arrangements to meet up with anyone, bar one day at the beginning he had a friend round for the day. AFAIK he has had no invitations either.

We have had a weekly family day out, but other than that he's been at home, mucking about with DS2 and the neighbourhood children who are 1-2 years younger than him.

He had to change schools which means that school friends are between 6 and 18 miles away so that obviously affects things, but we said we would give him a lift wherever he wanted to go.

Anyone else's 14 year old not done much?

OP posts:

Original poster

Sparklingbrook · 06/09/2017 07:14

Hi Cherry. Well all I can say is what a difference 4 years makes.

He is now a fully functioning normal 18 year old off to University. In the intervening years he did his GCSEs, got a weekend job, and slowly but surely started going out more.
He's passed his driving test and sees friends all the time and gives us no bother at all.

OP posts:

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 06/09/2017 07:16

This is four years old!

I was reading it, thinking that Sparkling's DS was the same age as mine, when in fact he must be now 18! I wish people wouldn't resurrect zombie threads.

megletthesecond · 06/09/2017 07:20

Lovely update sparkling .

cloughie100 · 06/09/2017 09:02

This thread is very helpful and particularly great with the update!

forcryinoutloud · 06/09/2017 18:48

Hi Sparkling, I have DS 18yrs ( he has the braces too!) and a DD 15 yrs who sound like an emalgamation of your DS! Neither have ever had bursting social calendars and even neighbourhood friends have been few and far between.

This summer holiday DD went to a school friends for one day (on friend's birthday) other than that, communication was via mobile. DS 18 yr does go out to football and gym but needs to get a job asap so that' s something.

It sounds like there were quite a lot of positives for your DS, as in at least knocking around with some other children, doesn't matter if they bit younger to my mind, I would rather that than kids much older.
But the main thing is he seems happy you said, so I wouldn't worry Sparkling. I'm sure he'll be fine.

Cherrymix · 06/09/2017 19:55

Thanks for the happy ending Sparkling. Feeling relieved he's back at school at the moment and grunting at his friends and not me

BertrandRussell · 06/09/2017 20:04

Lovely update! I was a bit thrown by seeing myself posting under another name......

to a fellow football mum.......

Original poster

Sparklingbrook · 06/09/2017 20:07

It is a happy ending when you think about it.

I remember that holiday so well. He's still fond of a KFC though.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 06/09/2017 20:14

Sparkling-wis it you who's got a ref in the family?

Original poster

Sparklingbrook · 06/09/2017 20:17

No not me, but there is a poster who has a son who referees isn't there? I can't remember who though.

I admire any teen who does it, it's a tough job.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 06/09/2017 20:24

I thought we had shared experiences about it in the past. Maybe just football in general....

Original poster

Sparklingbrook · 06/09/2017 20:29

Feel a bit wistful about the football (even after all the moaning at the time). He played his last match for his team earlier in the year and everyone was in tears.
The team is no more as they all go off to do University/jobs/gap years etc. He's been playing since he was 7.

Proper end of an era.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 06/09/2017 20:39

This is the first year for 11 years DP doesn't have a team to coach. He's wondering what he's going to do with all the time!

SukiPutTheEarlGreyOn · 06/09/2017 20:41

Lovely update, Sparkling! Echoes our experience with DS who would be the same age and at one time spent so much time on his computer or on long summer hols with little social interaction that I used to worry. Then year on year the confidence and social skills grew and now it's more a case of catching him as he heads off to concerts, parties and evenings out with a wide group of friends. I used to feel bad that I wasn't the type of parent who seemed able to wrangle DC into joining clubs and teams. But seeing the funny, socially adept and empathetic person he's grown into I wish I could go back in time and tell myself (and you) not to worry, that all would be well.

Original poster

Sparklingbrook · 06/09/2017 20:44

Does that mean the whole weekend is freed up Bertrand? That must be nice. I don't think people realise the blood, sweat and tears of the football coach it can be very thankless sometimes from what I saw.

At the time Suki it's hard to envisage things changing isn't it? We went to the pub for lunch today and we had a drink and chatted and it was a million miles away from his 14 year old self. Like two different people really.

OP posts:

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 06/09/2017 20:51

Oh wow, i posted on this at the start of the thread as an also ....worried parent. All bloody brilliant here too . I wish I hadn't worried so much now.

Original poster

Sparklingbrook · 06/09/2017 20:54

We did it Through.

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QueenLaBeefah · 06/09/2017 20:58

What a lovely update.

Cherrymix · 06/09/2017 23:27

My DS is a footballer too although is injured atm so can't play which is adding to my worries about him doing nothing but sitting in a darkened room. I have been wondering if he should do a refereeing course to give him something to do while he can't play.

But I'm so pleased to read all of these happy endings. It gives me hope.

I've been on MN for quite a while in many different guises and sometimes look at the toddler/ baby threads and post soothing comments to people worrying about their PFBs. This thread is the teenage equivalent.

Thank you mums of young men

QOD · 07/09/2017 08:18

Zombie thread and to cap it all, I almost typed what I typed in 2013 😂

Chocrock · 08/09/2017 14:01

It's so good to see a positive update!

JustDanceAddict · 08/09/2017 14:05

That's a great update Sparkling.

RJnomore1 · 08/09/2017 14:05

Aw sparkles. I'm dropping my 17yo dd at halls today. Feels like the end of an era.

ssd · 08/09/2017 19:23

such a nice thread to read!

am going through it now with ds2 in his room all the time, but like sb I have an older ds at uni, he's doing great, so I know things turn out well in their own time

and it was my ds who was the ref, he chucked that and dh refs now

ssd · 08/09/2017 19:28

Bertrand, dh now referees as for, well, 14 years he's either coached or watched every weekend from the sidelines and now ds2 isnt playing anymore () and ds1 plays at uni, dh had so much free time and missed being involved he became a ref and he's got 3 games this weekend

so I'm still a football widow......

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