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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Bit sad today. 14 year old DS.

150 replies

Sparklingbrook · 24/08/2013 09:11

DS1 (14) has spent the holidays at home, in the house. He hasn't made any arrangements to meet up with anyone, bar one day at the beginning he had a friend round for the day. AFAIK he has had no invitations either.

We have had a weekly family day out, but other than that he's been at home, mucking about with DS2 and the neighbourhood children who are 1-2 years younger than him.

He had to change schools which means that school friends are between 6 and 18 miles away so that obviously affects things, but we said we would give him a lift wherever he wanted to go.

Anyone else's 14 year old not done much?

OP posts:
Tapirbackrider · 28/08/2013 14:04

Sparkling

My ds is the same age, spent his entire summer holidays (unless forced out of the house) on the xbox/wii playing all sorts of crap. All his friends did the same thing; instead of meeting up in person, they prefer to play minecraft etc and chat online.

Tbh, if I'd had access to those types of games when his age, I'd have done exactly the same thing

He's not been unhappy doing what I call nowt, just not too pleased at going back to school!

secretscwirrels · 28/08/2013 15:21

Sparklingbrook has he had a huge growth spurt? DS2 seems to be a good 6" taller than he was when school broke up. It can make them really, really tired.

bigTillyMint · 28/08/2013 15:22

Boat on the river and ice-cream sounds loovelySmile

bigTillyMint · 28/08/2013 15:24

I think they are tired because they don't go to sleep at night. Though DS has had a massive growth spurt too!

sicily1921 · 28/08/2013 15:44

parties will be held virtually, via XBox Live or skype

That amused me (probably shouldn't)

I wonder what else they will do virtually, probably go to 'virtual work' I can just see it now......

Sparkling hugs, hope you having some relax time.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 28/08/2013 19:25

Hello all. The day improved thank goodness. Shopping was done, ice cream was eaten, milkshakes drank and DS1 has been lovely. Confused Didn't make it onto the river, but that's ok.

Honestly this morning I was all ready to just pack the car up and go home. Nice to have people to moan to.

DH says not to mention it again in case it sparks anything off. I think that's the way to go.

Weirdly, he had grown a lot this holiday-everyone we have seen has commented.

I am now relaxing with a Strawberry and Lime Cider. Smile

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 28/08/2013 19:57

Enjoy.

bigTillyMint · 28/08/2013 20:23

Strawberry and Lime cider? It's been too long since I've been to Chester!

ExitPursuedByABear · 28/08/2013 20:25

It's vair posh.

sicily1921 · 28/08/2013 22:13

is it recommended Sparkling? Someone recently told me blackcurrant cider was gorgeous!

NonnoMum · 28/08/2013 22:25

My DSS didn't do much with friends at this age...

Your DS HAS been out - but with neighbourhood kids... That's fine...

All this over-scheduling kids is a modern thing. Don't sweat it...

Theyremybiscuits · 28/08/2013 22:35

Marking my place... Our children are ver ver similar!

Longtallsally · 28/08/2013 23:10

Ooh, soo pleased that I found this thread. Ds1 is 13 and I have been feeling such a failure as a mum. He loves school and being one of the crowd, but has been indoors most of the summer apart from playing tennis once or twice a week. May need to look into a PS3 or Xbox, so that he can link up online with friends next year - he's been happy with my kindle and ds2, unless out doing something I've organised.

On a separate note - what sort of paperround is once a week, Sparkling? Sounds ideal for him!

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 29/08/2013 07:58

Morning all. We are up, DS1 is up and we are off to Liverpool. Grin

Strawberry and Lime Cider is excellent sicily-it tastes like pop. Grin They have it in Tesco- Rekorderlig is the name (or something like that).

Paper round is the local newspaper once a week on a Wednesday afternoon sally. 173 newspapers. Doesn't pay that well basically a fiver then more if there's leaflets, but it gives him something he has to do IYKWIM.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 29/08/2013 08:11

All upShock Mind you, even DD would get up at 7 in the holidays for a trip to Anfield!

Have funSmile

Horsemad · 29/08/2013 22:25

Hi Sparkling - just seen this and am amazed as my DS2 (14) has been exactly the same!

Hasn't seen a single school mate through the hols but is in contact via Xbox.
He's also had a growth spurt - it must be quite a common situation as quite a few posters are experiencing similar.

Hopefully all these introverts will get back into the swing of things once term starts.

I hope you've had a nice break and a great trip to the hallowed Anfield. Smile

mabeg3 · 31/08/2013 14:18

Sounds like my son - he was 14 on 26th August and has met up with his pals just twice or 3 times this hol. He was away with his dad, then me for around 2 weeks as were his pals. I was worried so I spoke to him - he said that he is quite happy mooching about at home and speaking to his pals on line. He is not a joiner in, unlike my older daughter who has a million friends and was always at the centre of any social gathering...! I do think some boys in early adolescence need to withdraw a bit over the summer to recharge their mental batteries! He had a pretty tough school year and is going into yr 10 in Sept, so I am happy for him to have had this time to gather this thoughts and get ready for what will be a busy challenging year. Maeve x

MadeOfStarDust · 01/09/2013 08:04

It can just depend on their friendship groups too though... my eldest DD had a best friend and a few others but never did anything in the hols unless she or parents arranged things... this year she had a falling out, went and found another friendship group and they have been out at least once a week...

some groups of people are more active than others, and more pro-active about arranging stuff... my DD was happy before not doing stuff, and she is happy now, doing stuff - so I think it's best to stand back and just let them get on with it if they are happy....

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 01/09/2013 17:33

Hello all. We are home again. DS1 seems happy. we had a lovely time at my brother's and in Chester.

Anfield was great . Not up my street but DSs enjoyed it.

DS1 was chatty and sociable. He's nervous about the return to school though.

mabeg i don't think DS1 is a joiner inner either. He waits for an invitation IYKWIM.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 01/09/2013 17:38

Sparkling, I think my DD (and maybe DS, but he never shows it) is a bit nervous about going back to school - I think it's quite normal. Even if they have seen some of their friends, there is a whole other load of stuff going on between peers at a big secondary school. Plus the, gulp, GCSE's looming!

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 01/09/2013 17:43

Yes Tilly, I am trying to be upbeat with him but even I am a bit worried about the next 2 years.

Even as an adult when I am stressed i always have nightmares about taking exams and not having revised enough. Sad

OP posts:
Horsemad · 01/09/2013 17:54

Yes, I think the GCSE thing can hang over them a bit. I know that DS2 is already apprehensive, as DS1 got fantastic results and he feels under pressure to do as well as him. He puts himself under pressure, we've not said we have expectations of him equalling his brother. He is always slightly defeatist though, which can be difficult.

Glad your DS seems happy. Smile

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 02/09/2013 10:42

Hi Horse. They have vertical tutoring at DS's school so no doubt last year's Year 10s have told DS all about the work. Sad

He is not looking forward to Thursday and neither am I if I'm honest.

OP posts:
Cherrymix · 05/09/2017 01:25

I know this is an old thread but I was looking for something and found it and it has really cheered me up. DS(15) could have been any one of your DSs in their holiday darkened room. He was quite socialble at the start of the hols but has hardly done anything for a week. Was also beginning to feel a bit of a failiure.

I wonder what has happened to Sparkling's hermit 4 years on ....

Strumpetpumpet · 06/09/2017 06:48

It's cheered me up too Cherrymix - my DS (13) has been exactly like that this summer. Glad to know it's not completely abnormal. Thanks for resurrecting this thread 😂

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