Bed time 16 year old (boring, sorry)

[Fiendishlie]

My DS turns 16 in September and starts year 11 at school. What time should I be sending him off to bed (given that he can read in bed if he wishes as I have never needed to enforce a 'lights out' policy).
I think I may have been sending him off too early and with him hitting 16 I have suddenly noticed he's a very big boy now

DD1 is 16 and during the holidays we would suggest her going to bed when the clock reached 11-11.30 but she then reads until goodness knows when. She has a part time job so some mornings she has to be up early. Some nights DD will either fall asleep mid evening or take herself up earlier than usual.
Term time it's the same but we suggest she goes up at 10-10.30 and then reads. She pretty much self regulates with us occasionally having to nudge her but like I say she then reads til goodness knows what time.
She doesn't like being downstairs on her own at night so even if we didn't nudge she wouldn't be to bad as we go to bed by 10.30 term time.

16 is the age when they are finding their independence, they need to learn how to be an adult, they will only learn that if they are allowed to make their own mistakes, trial and error if you like. Even so they need guidance and direction, my DS is 16 almost 17 and he just disappears into his room and zonks out about 10pm ish. He has to be up early too, like 5.30am early!! He just sorts himself out!! He is in 6th form so he sort of has to stand on his own two feet, as previous posts said, two more years and he'll be a man.......of legal age to be responsible for himself. I have older children as in adult children and I still give them guidance when they need it.

Dd is very nearly 16 and I think my parenting in this area is getting closer to the kind of friendly care I would show dh: I don't try to micromanage, but if I do notice that he is getting into unhealthy habits, staying up far too late I would give him a gentle nudge because I care. Dd has medical issues which means she needs a bit more guidance than I would normally expect to give at this age, but again we are talking guidance rather than a set bedtime.

I don't see what's wrong with encouraging a 16 yr old to go to their bedroom at a set time leaving an hour for the parents to have adult time.

When the 16yr old is living in their own home, they can do as they please, until then, I would like to have some space and would expect them to want some too.

At 16 they should be taking a little more responsibility for their own bedtimes, and if they are tired in the morning then they should think maybe I shouldn't be texting till 2am tonight.....they have to learn and only have themselves to blame if they're tired!

In regard to whether a 16 y.o. should have a set bed time or take responsibility themselves, surely there's no right or wrong answer, it depends on the kid.
When I was that age I was a right monster, I'd take the mick and stay up till the middle of the night if I could and then be shattered all day (and I never learnt my lesson until I was about 18!), so if I had a teenager like I was I'd definitely step in and give them boundaries!
Where as some kids that age are very grown up and responsible.
Do what feels best, OP. I doubt you're doing him any real harm either way- teens learn responsibility and maturity interacting with their peers, taking on responsibilities through getting jobs and helping around the house etc., not through choosing when to go to bed, that's next to insignificant IMHO.

When I was 16 I lived in a junior boarding house at college, we had to be in the house by 1030 each night and not doing anything that would keep other residents awake. There wasn't a rule about when we had to be in bed with the lights out -if you couldn't cope with being up late and then having a class at 9 you tended to figure things out for yourself!

Hi I am a sixteen year old and looking at all these answers are funny to me. My bed time had been the same for seven years, I have been going to bed at 7 on school days. No TV on school days and my phone stays downstairs. I'm not aloud to use the internet because " teens should not be unsupervised on the internet".

I like my bedtime despite how early it is. Because I am able to get a full nights rest before school. As for the TV and phone I prefer being outside and reading. Early bedtimes aren't bad and your kids may not like it but its better than being tired in the morning and sitting on the coach watching TV.