Bed time 16 year old (boring, sorry)

[Fiendishlie]

My DS turns 16 in September and starts year 11 at school. What time should I be sending him off to bed (given that he can read in bed if he wishes as I have never needed to enforce a 'lights out' policy).
I think I may have been sending him off too early and with him hitting 16 I have suddenly noticed he's a very big boy now

Wow OP, calm down. I didn't say you were boring, I said he might be more interested in joining in a more interesting activity.

Reported your post, there's really no need to tell me to fuck off.

Indeed Maryz. She made me angry.
Hiding thread, had enough of this.

Don't worry OP, people have different ways of doing things. In my case I have 4 kids, the youngest is 8. I have consider the fact that on a school night it's not fair for him to be disturbed until silly o clock by my 3 teens.

And after a day at work and an evening of chatter I do like some kid free time. So shoot me ;)

I'm amazed that I have the power to make people feel things. I must be some sort of super-magician.

Christ.

by "child-free time", a 16 year old is not a child,

My 14, 13 and 8 year old are childs. Shall amend to 'tv hogging noisy drama queen free time'

Completely baffled at that turn of events .
OP - no idea why you turned on yellowraincoat - she's offered a perfectly valid opinion.... er, which you asked for.

Do people really set bedtimes for teenagers? At 16 your son's a young adult and not a child surely? Mine all chose when they went to sleep because it was their responsibility to get themselves up next morning. Dd at 9 doesn't have a set bedtime even it depends on what's happening in her life and how tired she is

He is 16 in September, I hope you are not this aggressive to him.

This thread is now winning the bizarre Sunday thread race.

insanityscratching stop giving the OP your opinion! She doesn't want it. She only wants people to say "send your child to bed at 8PM, until then insist he watches Last of the Summer Wine with you."

My DD1 will be in Y11 in september and 16 in january - sure it might be great to let her regulate her own bedtime BUT she has 3 younger siblings who would not benefit on a school night from someone racketing around until silly o'clock. We don't live in an overlarge house so noise carries. And DP and I are often in bed by 10 on a school night too.

I don't march them off to bed, they go up at 9:30 and are free to chill out - reading, interwebbing etc - as long as they aren't disturbing anyone else. However, when I go up for bed more often than not they're all totally zonked out.

However, it's a fluid situation isn't it? In another year or so when DD1 is approaching 17, DD2 16 and DS1 15 I guess things will be different again. DS2 will be approaching the end of his time at primary school and won't need as early a bedtime.

It's one of those things where there are no 'right' and 'wrong' options, families have to come to solutions that work for everyone. We have to respect that the kids are growing up, they have to respect that there are other people in the family who have particular needs.

alistron, but you arent sending them to bed so you can get shot of them.

bloodyfurious - some nights I'd like to send them off at 6:30 In fact this afternoon I'm thinking a 2pm bedtime might be nice!!!!!

My DD is 16 and she manages her own bedtime, depending on things that she realises about herself, and that we talk about, notably how tired she is and what time she needs to be up in the morning.

She knows she isn't to keep anyone else awake. So if she's watching something on her laptop, she uses headphones.

She has a p/t job and goes to Sixth-Form College in September. I'm glad she has learned to be independent about bedtime at 15/16.

It seems obvious to me.

Obviously by giving them the independence and responsibility to manage their own bedtimes you also get to bestow on them the independence and responsibility to manage their own laundry and their own domestic input so win win all round IME.

I'd have been if i'd had a 'bed time' at 16, as would ALL of my friends.... They're almost adults, stop babying him.

Hope all these people who don't baby their children by sending them to their bedrooms don't baby them by driving them about, buying them clothes, doing their washing etc ;-)

I would say that they need to be in bed by midnight latest on a school night, but it's up to them as a near enough adult to judge when they are tired and go to bed then, and the consequences of bed at 4am and up at 7am!

I think they need to learn that actions have consequences and deciding when to sleep and how tired they are the next day is part of this

With say a 10 year old I would probably say bed by x time, but they can choose to read or write diary for example until they are ready for bed.

There's a difference between bed and sleep though, isn't there - I could ask my 15 year old to go to her bedroom at 5pm, but I can't make her sleep, and I know that sometimes on a school night she is still awake at 2am. And that's up to her to cope with.

And yes I would expect a 16 year ok to contribute to family washing/ cooking etc.. I dont like the whole you can now do all your things as I feel living as a family it is more helpful for them to know that washing and things need doing so if they see laundry full then please throw a load in machine
Same with cooking, if they are in a few Eve's before others it doesn't hurt to prep meal/ start. On another day it will be someone else

lol at last of the summer wine.