Surrogacy abroad, any experience?

[Tanya87xz]

Hi everyone, as you may have seen from the topic, we are looking for some advice on surrogacy agencies abroad. Recently after a surgery i've undergone, there is no chance for me to carry a pregnancy and surrogacy remains the only way for us to get our baby. If anyone been int he same situaton and wants to share some info i'd be very grateful!
thanx!

On the flip side some women find pregnancy easy and enjoyable and I know personally of 2 who have been surrogates and one was very nice the other told me that she was ‘playing’ the couple for as much In ‘expenses’ as possible. So the negative parts of surrogacy can go both ways

Yes I’ve seen the same. It’s not something I’d do personally but that’s my own opinion I wouldn’t have a go at anyone who was thinking about surrogacy. This board just isn’t a very supportive place and probably isn’t serving a purpose

@SouthernFashionista Not very 'Pro' the woman who started this post though, is it?

Anyway, I'm not being dragged into an argument about the ethics of surrogacy. A poster has come to the surrogacy board to ask for advice and shared experiences, but this wasn't going to happen on Mumsnet, as you and I both know (and unfortunately for her, she did not).

https://edition.cnn.com/2020/08/04/health/seraphina-surrogate-death/index.html
https://www.bmj.com/content/386/bmj.q2100
http://nhsurrogacy.com/death-and-the-surrogate/
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/jun/05/india-surrogates-impoverished-die

I assume no-one would support buying a kidney off someone, so why should we support commodifying a baby?

Be kind? No, I'll be honest first,thank you. It's wrong. I thank God I we were able to have children, but we have health conditions that mage a massive impact on daily life: that's life,I'm afraid. Don't need to buy a child to make yourself feel better.

You want a child to know for the rest of it's life that it was bought and paid for and was nothing more than a transaction.

If it's legal then why look abroad?

That's why the OP is looking to go abroad then? All the rich women overseas who just love being pregnant for someone else? Hilarious.

Couple exploiting woman and commodifying baby have a pay a bit more to exploit her. Hardly comparable.

My Mum taught me as a child that if you can’t say something nice don’t speak

I will absolutely not be teaching my children this. I will be teaching them to speak up when something is wrong. Speak up for those who can't speak up for themselves. Do the right thing.

I'm also not very pro drug dealers who exploit vulnerable people.

Oh I do agree with you and surrogacy is not something I agree with personally . It’s currently legal though in a lot of countries. Maybe not the moral choice but legal nonetheless.

Whys she going to another country though? Presumably to bypass the uk LAWS where the surrogate can change their mind? Better for her to go abroad where the mother who carried and birthed the baby have no rights, and the baby can be legally snatched from her arms if she changes her mind?

Plus choose the sex, demand that women go to term even if it's risky to their health, demand reductions if too many eggs implant, demand abortions or reject the baby if there are disabililties, you know, treating women like shit basically and getting the product you want.

“Get” “your” baby?

Wow.

How far you do you go in being 'pro' the person requesting something @FutureFry ?

Is there a line to be drawn anywhere for you? Or should we always support everyone in whatever they want to do regardless of its impact on anyone else.

In this instance, buying a baby because it will keep the poster happy. Never mind the woman who will go through agony giving birth, with long term damaging effects on her body. Never mind the child who will grow up to learn his mum sold him.

Oh,the old "Philip Scofield" defense: unwise,but not illegal

This. Massive pile on of abuse for the woman who started the thread but that’s ok, because we only support some women and the choices that we think are correct. I don’t actually think surrogacy is all that ethical and it isn’t a route I’d go down myself but the treatment this OP and those trying to support her have had on here is disgusting.

Some people claiming to be supporting hypothetical vulnerable women while at the same time lambasting another. I have no idea if the OP has considered ethics of surrogacy but there are kinder ways to point them out than has been done on here FFS.

The OP came here to ask for advice, not for you all to tell her it's wrong and should be illegal! A lot of women literally choose to be a surrogate, how is the exploiting. You pay for their expenses, not like youre going on the internet to buy an actual baby! So many vile narrow minded people on here.