Surrogacy abroad, any experience?

[Tanya87xz]

Hi everyone, as you may have seen from the topic, we are looking for some advice on surrogacy agencies abroad. Recently after a surgery i've undergone, there is no chance for me to carry a pregnancy and surrogacy remains the only way for us to get our baby. If anyone been int he same situaton and wants to share some info i'd be very grateful!
thanx!

I don't think you'll get the answers you need on here OP.

I don't know why there's a surrogacy board on here. Everybody asking about it gets a kicking.

Well, the closer equivalent is if someone has posted saying ' I want to buy a kidney', but yes, I take your point.

You'd be better looking at a Facebook support group OP, there are some very unkind people on MN.

Please don't buy a baby from a vulnerable mother abroad.

Sorry you are faced with hard life choices - don't make someone else's life and that of an innocent childs' hard to make yours better though...

Many of us believe that using another woman, likely poor or vulnerable, to get what you want is unkind. Way more than unkind.

No.

Not unkind.

Able to think about things from other peoples perspective. In this case, the baby and the woman whose body is being used.

There's something really racist about calling women unkind for not prioritising a presumably affluent western woman over a poorer woman from a different poorer country.

Kindness just for your own kind.

Buying a baby is brutal. Exploiting a woman and her body and essentially buying her baby from her is brutal. Comments pointing out that surrogacy = buying babies are just telling it as it is. Good if those comments make someone hesitate before they go abroad to buy a baby .

Posters saying things like this are just encouraging OP, and others like her, not to consider the morality of what she is planning, nor the implications for the mother or baby, but just to hide away from that in a nice forum which will encourage her just to focus on herself and what she wants.

How people have reframed this as 'be kind' is beyond me.

It's a disgusting practice and should be banned worldwide. Exploiting vulnerable women and creating a baby for your own need is abhorrent.

Because there are legal protections in place to prevent OP from exploiting a woman in the uk (though would-be-exploiters are trying to change the law). Going abroad bypasses those protections and makes it easier to exploit someone.

So sorry about your infertility @Tanya87xz I realise it must be tough. Please don't go abroad for surrogacy. Anything you can do abroad that you can't do in the uk is prevented because it is unethical.

I'm very sorry about your infertility OP. But your pain doesn't justify exploiting a poorer woman in another country, nor does it justify creating a baby with the intention of removing it from its mother.
And yes, as far as the baby is concerned, its mother is the woman it grows in - however much people try to hide that by calling her a 'surrogate'.

I would like to buy a kidney, especially looking for one from abroad - where the people are economically vulnerable and in which the state has no human rights restrictions. Ideally I'd like to be able to dictate the terms of what they eat and drink for nine months beforehand and would like to be able to reject the kidney if it's not to my liking or is any way damaged.Tia xx

Travelling abroad for the purpose of purchasing the use of a disadvantaged woman's body, and subsequently a baby, is an abhorrent concept.

Surrogacy isn't your only chance of having a baby, there's no reason, presumably, why you can't adopt.

Whilst infertility is a dreadful thing for any couple to experience, having a biological child is not a right. And it certainly doesn't condone putting another woman under all the risks that pregnancy entails for her to incubate a baby for you to buy. It's human trafficking.

People go abroad so that they can pay less to poor women in countries that don't have the same human rights laws.

It's the opposite of racism.

A kidney won't grow up wondering about its biological parents or be fucked up by that knowledge. More ethical to buy a kidney than a kid imo

Let me correct you there: ‘Mumsnet is notoriously pro-women’

Absolutely. I would add to that pro children. A friend has adopted an older child. She has been to lots of training as this has not been an easy road. The current thinking is that removal from parents at any age is a trauma to a child. You can imagine what her view of surrogacy is

Horrible people because they oppose the exploitation of vulnerable women whose health and lives are put at risk in the process and who oppose the commodification of babies? Yeah, that's really horrible.

Wrt to donor eggs, I assume you know that also involves exploitation of vulnerable women? Harvesting eggs is a risky process for the woman and there is no research on the long term impact on women's health and fertility. They are sold a vision of it being no more dangerous than donating sperm and, in most cases, the risks are glossed over. They are told there is no evidence of long term ill-effects rather than that there is no research to determine whether there are long term effects.

But yeah, we're the horrible ones.

Yes OP please do find a more sympathetic forum where the posters are absolutely fine with human trafficking.

And because more and more western countries are banning commercial surrogacy at a minimum. Funnily enough, women aren't queueing up to become surrogates for free.

The board is ‘Surrogacy’ it’s not ‘Board for people who think surrogacy is OK’. Therefore IMO anyone with an opinion on this topic is entitled to respond. If people only want an echo chamber then don't look here.

Rather than looking for a fight, it actually screams "I know this process is completely unethical and abhorrent. Not everyone realises that so it's my duty to try and protect the vulnerable women and children by telling those who may not be aware of the reality of the process"