How do I tell the gp the mess I'm in

[pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit]

I'm hugely dependent on codeine, it is prescribed but I take way over what I'm meant to 500-600mg daily which means I run out early every time. This means I can't taper done properly because I run out then have to buy otc and then it starts again. My husband has forced me to call the gp and tell them, I'm just waiting for them to call. I'm terrified though. Terrified they're going to call ss on me. I'm a normal person, I'm not a druggie on the streets, I'm not a scumbag, I'm a young mother of 3 kids who are my whole life.
I have my own home, job, husband etc but I am addicted to codeine through being prescribed them years ago for back pain which was never investigated. I now know that back issue is a herniated disc and it causes sciatica. I can't stop taking them as I get horrible withdrawal symptoms and I can't function. Please help me I don't know what I'm meant to do

Well done for talking about this @pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit.

I'm cheering you on here. :-)

Codeine is such a weird thing because it seems so harmless when you buy it over the counter in a pharmacist shop. But once you have swallowed it, it turns into morphine inside your body. Morphine addiction has been well understood for eons, and was even described so clearly in the Sherlock Holmes books.

I also feel so sorry that you have been left without a GP review for so long. I understand why because the GPs are on their knees with overwork, but it's awful that it's landed you in this situation.

It's really not your fault at all. I'm so glad that you are going to ask for help, and that organisation that you are calling sounds perfect for it. Good luck!

Well done @pleasedontjudgemeidontneedit

You shouldn't feel terrible about yourself. You probably got addicted in the first place because you are so harsh and critical of yourself and it helped you cover up all those bad feelings and pain.

You are a lovable and good person.

You can get over this but you do need help. Anyone would need help to get over this.

You've tried to manage it all alone - and that hasn't worked.

That is also such a burden to carry alone and makes you feel so ashamed about people finding out.

Well, now people have found out, and hey, its not so bad. And now someone can help you.

Start talking to someone and you won't feel ashamed any more. You'll realise that people are compassionate and kind.

Lots of people get addicted to codeine, alcohol and all sorts of other substances. It is common and even some of the most "competent" and "together" looking people can be hiding addictions (sometimes even from themselves).

You need help first of all to taper off and get over the addiction. That will take some time. Even when the physical dependence has gone, there is still the psychological dependence of feeling you can take a pill to make you feel alright. It is very difficult when that route is taken away. It can take 6 months or a year to really get through it.

At some point there is the question of the emotions that you were trying to escape from by taking these tablets to feel alright. It could be helpful to have someone to talk to about what is underneath this addiction and this depression. The addiction is your way of trying to manage feelings that you are worried are unbearable. But you might come to know that if you can know about them and talk about them to someone else, they become more bearable.

And while you think you must take the codeine or you will feel terrible physically (which you will, due to the withdrawal) once you are through that, you will realise how much better you feel NOT on it, lighter, more alert, clear headed and none of that shame and worry about where the next pills are coming from and just how many you are getting through each day. Just imagine, a life with none of that.

It is worth the short term discomfort of withdrawal, definitely.

Also a previous Cgl employee. As previous poster said this is very common and depending on who the local substance misuse service is in your area, it should be handled by them as you are buying extra on top of prescribed meds.

GPs are absolutely useless with this stuff if I'm being honest and usually just refer to substance misuse anyway. Lots of options for you, safe reduction plans and/or opioid replacement medication as well as 1:1 and group support. Opioid detox only offered after reducing first to reasonable 'detox' levels. It'll be okay OP, it might not happen instantly but you're doing the right thing by making the call and getting the ball rolling. 🤞

I just wanted to say thank you for doing this.

My mum was in exactly the same position when we were kids and she never tried to quit. It made our lives incredibly difficult.

I don't have a single childhood memory of my mum playing with me. She just wanted to be in bed all the time.

As an adult, she never came to visit me at university even while the rest of the family did and all she had to do was get in the car.

She moved in with me for a bit and left me once the local GP wouldn't register her for more codeine with all her bailiffs knocking on the door as she'd used my address for all her debts.

I hope you get the help you need, you can beat this.

Also to add, social services are only ever contacted if their are significant safeguarding concerns highlighted I.e abuse. Substance misuse don't routinely contact them, if not social services would be drowning even more in inappropriate referalls lol. Sometimes a home visit will be offered if you have children under 5. Also we send letters to your GP just to inform them of your entry into service and treatment plan, but you can ask for them not to be contacted if you aren't comfortable.

Good luck OP, you can do this.

Please tell your GP, they will have seen this so many times and can help. Xx

Do you really think this is the post or the time to discuss this? When someone is reaching out and absolutely terrified?
Do you get some kind of sick thrill from kicking someone when they're down? Are you going to snuggle up in your bed tonight thinking to yourself "So satisfying telling that woman having one of the most difficult days of her life off on Mumsnet".

You have nothing to be ashamed about! These things are addictive and, if your pain was not being treated, what other option did you have (except grin and bear pain for months?!). If anything, you should give yourself a pat on the back that you are taking affirmative action. Well done!! xxx

Please don't feel ashamed, this is a very common problem. The damage you could be doing is way more important than feeling shame.
You will feel a massive weight off as soon as it's out there with your GP.
Good luck hun 🫂 x

CGL are great and they can prescribe too so you might fund they can do a meds review to look at your antidepressants too

You are very brave because you have taken the first steps, which are always the hardest. No one will judge you. You won’t be the first person who your gp has met who has got in over their head, and you won’t be the last Trust that your gp will have the know how to support you, will point you towards sympathetic support and reassure you that you will get through the next stages of dealing with your addiction.

And the good news is that when you have shared this with the gp you will feel a huge sense of relief that you aren’t having to cope with this on your own.

When you were prescribed the anti depressants, did you meet with the GP? Did they ask what other medication you were taking? Have you had a GP face to face appointment over the last few years?

It’s very sad that you have been just given this on repeat. It seems a huge amount, but yes of course you can quit with help.

I understand why you don’t want the GP involved as they may but you off completely and that must be terrifying.

The very best of luck to you.

It’s much more common than you think and being so harsh on yourself will turn to self hatred and that will not help. You need to be positive and care for yourself. It’s going to be ok. They’ll help you.

I’ve just read your updates. You’re doing really well op.

Hi OP, I got in a similar pickle with benzos a few years ago. My local community drugs and alcohol service were fantastic and arranged a long slow taper programme.

Don't do it yourself. I've detoxed from Oxy and it's minging and you'll probably fail.

We're all equal in the face of addiction, it's what you choose to do about it.

akso be really clear about your issues with depression as if you get decent treatment for that it will help.

Op I want to thank you for being brave and posting about this, because I'm in a very similar situation but not brave or ready enough.
The responses here have given me an idea of where to go and what to expect when I am ready. And SS was a worry for me too when on the outside I am 'functioning'.
I'm certain there'll be others who have been helped by your thread.

Best wishes x

Denial and minimising is a very addict thing to do.
''I'm not like THEM''

Facing up to the fact one is not a special case is very important.

@oakleaffy find another thread to get your feeling of superiority. This one isn’t it.

OP I was addicted to Tramadol (essentially codeine but stronger) for around 4 years. I was taking 300-400mg per day.

I managed to get off it. I did it without any medical intervention and it was horrible so it's good that you've reached out to a service.

Anyway you can absolutely do this. Yes the early days will be tough but it IS doable. Best of luck

You can do it!!!! A close family member got herself off heroin and completely turned her life around, even got a good job and bought her own house in time. You just need to allow the support to get it under control. You're doing SO GREAT to get this far. ♥️♥️♥️

THIS

She's calling the GP. She's seeking help. Clearly no longer in denial.

Again, what did you get out of kicking someone when they're down?