How to Talk to Husband hiding Codeine use?

[Shkbop91]

Shall try not to make this too long.
Have recently found out DH has been taking 30/500 cocodamols, I think in excess.
He accidently woke me up when he came to bed drunk (in Christmas week) and was rummaging around in his dresser for his "headphones". I heard him pop tablets.....so I perhaps wrongly snooped the next day and found the packet.
I noted how many were left and have just checked and he's taken 8 in 5 days. I don't even know when, as we work full time so he is hiding it fairly well apart from him being tired and snappy.
He will not have got these tablets through prescription. He does not have chronic pain. I don't know how long its been going on. I suspect he's taking them with alcohol, as when I found out he had taken them after 2+ bottles of wine.
He's had some mental health issues that he has refused to confront. I have had my own mental health issues which I spent a long time working on. Our life can be stressful but we don't have any major stressors like debt etc.
Can't really figure out why he's doing this. He does drink but I would say no more than anyone else. He doesn't do any other drugs ?that I know of? A very long time ago we both used to smoke weed. That's about it.

He's hiding them in his draw and disposing of the empty packets in the main bin I think.
I don't know what to say to him. I feel really angry and betrayed by it all because I feel like this is his crutch for his issues that he refuses to get help with. I don't know whether to confront him or give him ultimatums or what.
Does anyone have any advice? Or know if there are any charities that I can speak to?
I feel like if we do try to talk it may well turn into an argument without me thinking it through first. I would prefer to help and support him but I am still very angry. We have a toddler and I am 6 months pregnant with second child. I do/did enjoy our life but I am wavering on this one.
Any help/advice would be appreciated

Sorry for all the tags - @ThisIsMyEden@7Weeks2Go@deflatedbirthday@Trethew@Kwam31 @wobblyweasel

I don't think he's got a huge addiction, in that he's taking way over the dose to get high but I suspect he is misusing them at the least because:
I've noticed his mood change in the last 3 months. I thought it was depression but he is snappy, irritable and not pleasant to be around.

These are not his drugs. They are not prescribed to him. They do not have his prescription and for him to have 30s he must have prescribed. So he has very much taken a big risk in getting these.

They aren't just in his draw, they are hidden under a lot of stuff. 8 in 5 days isn't a lot but I don't think he has any reason to use them. He might have pain but not enough to go the doctor and I can't see that it's enough to warrant taking these over a lower, over the counter dose.

My biggest worry, is that he took them with alcohol. I don't see why he needs to take them with alcohol unless it's for the buzz. If he's taking them for the buzz I worry it's going to spiral if I don't say anything. I also don't want him to use this as a crux for other issues which I feel might be what he's doing.

Is there anything you suggest I do to talk to him about it without coming across accusational? I could well be over-reacting but do I just sit and wait on it or assume its normal?

I'm a former codeine addict, and at one time I would have been taking up to 30 of these per day. It doesn't sound like a full blown addiction at the moment, however if he's using them to sleep it can very quickly escalate so I would definitely advise you discuss it with him. There are better and healthier ways of getting some sleep. I started my addiction this way, and I wish someone had talked to me about it. I ended up on Subutex, which is what is given to heroin addicts! I'm fully clean now and have been for over a year, no desire to go back. I wish someone had been looking out for me. It sneaks up on you and before you know it, you're physically hooked and not taking them makes you sick.

@Redglitter it could be pain. I just find it odd that this is the route he goes down to medicate. These aren't prescribed to him, I am 100% certain of that.
In terms of talking to him, do you have any suggestions on how I could go about it? I'm struggling to make it positive because I would be pointing out I had found them and worry I would be accusational rather than trying to find out the problem. If that makes sense......

It's hard to say this tactfully but there are a LOT of prescription medication abusers on MN who will reassure you that there is no problem here and that they take much higher doses. This doesn't make any of this OK... so please don't be falsely reassured. Please read this.... https://www.talktofrank.com/drug/codeine#the-risks It's extremely dangerous to mix high doses of codeine with alcohol. He could black out while driving, so please don't let him drive you or your child anywhere until you know exactly what's going on.

You need professional advice here, and fast - can you try your GP or some drug charities?

@Whattodo2024 I'm sorry that happened to you and that it sounds as though it went on for some time.
I will follow your advice, thank you. I hope that this isn't the case and I am mistaken but it seems like it will become fairly evident if he's significantly going down that route.

@FlyingCherub thank you for your advice and help. I had actually completely forgotten about talk to Frank. I'm going to give them a call tomorrow.
I'm a bit worried about talking to my GP as they are both of our GPs and whilst they have to maintain confidentiality I don't know whether they would do so in the event that I disclosed the that he was taking these without prescription. It could really ruin his life, regardless of whether he is misusing them or addicted or whatever the label.

@WhatInFreshHell thank you for your insight. I'm sorry that you ended up on Subutex. Can I ask whether you were aware that you were developing an addiction as time went on? I've taken tablets before for pain relief and do wholeheartedly say I enjoy the feeling of them but I would like to think I would recognise a withdrawal if I stopped. Or is that not the case? Or in your case did you not stop until it escalated? Understand if you don't want to answer that.