Codeine addiction

[madein1995]

Hi

I'm new here so please be gentle. I'm posting here for traffic, and just want to know about others experiences of codeine/co codamol and how they've overcome it.

I never really used it a few years ago. Mum had it (prescribed) and I'd take a tablet or two when in pain (dislocations etc). When I came home from uni I was unemployed and really down/depressed for about 5 months, and I started taking it heavily then.

Since then, I've used in stages and in different levels. I've gone through periods of using it every day, during the day, only using it at night, and of course withdrawing when the prescription ran out. It sounds daft, but the feeling it gives me is incredible. Providing I know my limit and don't take too many tablets that I feel rough the next day, I'm fine. I'm more positive, cheerful, happy, and I sleep better. I honestly feel sometimes there's no downsides. I function perfectly normal and noone in real life would guess. Mother doesn't notice her prescription going missing as she never uses it (ironically as she doesn't want to get addicted).

I'm not stupid though. I know it must be doing me some harm though. When I withdraw my body aches, I have diarrhea, I have restless legs, I have worse sleep and I suspect that physically at least I am dependant on it.

I can't admit it to anyone in real life. I hate withdrawal. I feel so on edge and down all the time, and part of me can't wait til next Wednesday for mum's prescription to come in, to have more. At the same time I'm going through withdrawal and I'm thinking what is the point in going through this only to have to go through it again, in the future. I want to join the police in the future and know that my cocodamol use will need to stop for this.

The fact that I feel so down without it scares me. I feel really depressed, and I don't know if it's a result of withdrawal or just not medicating. It's not right. I was a lot happier three years ago, and I have been through some stuff since then (not dramatic, unemployment, being assaulted, unemployment, bad family relationships). But surely I should be able to move on from that? I can't let on to anyone that I'm hurting inside, and I should be able to move on from that. I can't afford therapy.

Basically, I'm very confused, a bit scared and a lot fed up of going through withdrawal all over again. I would appreciate support if anyone has been through the same thing.

I really don't advocate cold turkey, I was terribly dependant on codeine for pain relief in pregnancy and tried that... not a chance. Luckily my baby didn't have any withdrawals though!

fruit thank you, I think I'll try dropping by half a tablet , starting next week, and see how that goes . Will also look into counselling

If you can't sleep, you could try a drowsy antihistamine such as nytol or doxylamine (am not in U.K, not sure what is available), and/or a herbal sleep aid such as kalms. Then you wouldn't need the codeine so much for sleep.

Thinking of you. I hope you can find a way to get off the meds. I am on prescribed opiates and several years ago managed to lower my dose from 60mg to 15mg a day. (I had been in a lot of pain and my pain specialist was just throwing meds at me rather than investigating the cause. Once I got the right surgery and treatment I needed less pain relief.) I did it very slowly and it was really not too bad.

Re your mums script even though she isnt using them, Im sure she has noticed they are disappearing. It may be an idea to sit down and talk to her about what has been happening, this is scary. If she isnt using them but is still getting her prescription (for whatever reasons) it is prob best she doesnt leave them somewhere you can get them easily.

Think of everyone around you tucking into their big plates of favourite meals while you get nothing at all and are left to starve, (codiene less) you hope that some of your friends or family will give you something off their plates but the kindest thing they are doing is not giving you what your addiction needs (codiene), it will feel horrible

By 1st getting your mam on side, she will be able to help you by keeping the meds out of the way, possible emotional support depending on your relationship with her and she may sort out her own issue that she is getting the painkillers for as something is causing her pain and she isnt getting relief from co-codomals

Gentle hugs to you, i know you are young and trying to get on track, you are doing great, keep chatting to all of us

I can't bring myself to tell mam, for lots of reasons. It is scary, but telling her seems scarier too. I know it'll be very hard staying off them while she has her prescription in the next room, and practical support seems great.

At the same time, our relationship isn't the best. She has mental health issues (which are diagnosed and which she won't take her tablets for) and can be volatile. Likes blaming any stress/horrible behaviour on her part on me and dad, regularly accuses us (definitely me) of making her ill. I've learnt to ignore it now.

I don't feel able to tell her. Apart from her being angry and making it all about her, there'd be a huge row. She'd never trust me again, she'd call me a druggie etc. It's also in the back of my mind that it'd make her depressed/funny etc. She's lovely in some ways but not the type you go to with a problem, not unless you want a complete lack of sympathy. Also my uncle was an alcoholic and I don't want to put her through that again.

If things were different with us I might feel tempted to confide in her or dad but as it is, I can't. Thank you for being so kind. It does feel a bit like wading through treacle, especially at the moment as I'm still using.

It sounds daft and I'm sorry for bleating on, but it feels like I'm finally being honest. Not just to you guys, on here - but being honest to myself

Don't apologise you've realised enough is enough,and you want to stop....not because you've been told to,or forced to,but because you want to,and that's the most important thing. You'll find the motivation,when you're ready.

ugh feel sick again, think I misjudged and took one too many. Again not in danger just feel bleurgh. Could cry. Why do i keep doing this to myself? It's not like they even work that well any more. 75 per cent of the time they do. Other times I misjudge and end up feeling sick and having nightmares. I'm so fucked up, I'm a state, a self pitying mess. Why do i do it to myself, I seem incapable of seeing what's staring me in the face. I don't know why I keep posting, but it helps, especially on nights like tonight

Perhaps don't confide in your mum then if will just add to your load. Thinking of you.

Dont tell her because then you will have to deal woth her feelings as well as yr own.

I don't think I will tell them. It'll be tough, but I'll try and deal with it without telling family and friends. Counselling etc

Hoping for a better night tonight, taken 4 so not enough to make myself sick but enough that I don't get withdrawals. Feeling more positive today. Made a reduction plan, made a meal plan and exercise plan for next week too. Plan on starting healthy eating back up, and walking dog/gym/swimmimg more, try to keep busy to stop negative thoughts

OP, you are not alone. Your GP is there for you, you'll be surprised and relieved how supportive they can be. They are an objective professional adult and they are there for you in a way that friends and family can never be. They will know SO much about your challanges, they have seen it all before. Just be open and honest with them. Mine have been incredibly good, helpful and non-patronising about my depression, drinking and weight issues.

Thanks van . I'm nor sure whether to access free (nhs) counselling or private. I am concerned re seeing the GP purely as it might go on my medical records which could affect my employment in the future. I'm definitely going to access counselling though, I've got to try and find someone local to me, it might be worth asking the gp about that

I think you are very brave and have taken massive first step in admitting there is problem.
Codeine addiction is very common - where I live and work codcomol can be bought over the counter. Don’t be ashamed.
Go and get some help - phone one of the agencies.
Good luck.

@madein1995 Apologies only coming back to the thread now as been acutely sick last 36 hours as threw up Wednesday eve meds and yesterday morning which put me into a withdrawal of sorts, the throwing up is coming from an antibiotic which is my 3rd back to back and if it doesn't clear il have to have iv antibiotics

I can totally understand that people don't have good relationships with parents esp common when the parent has a history of mental illness and is non-compliant medication wise. Being volatile and blaming you for causing her stress is not making her ill. Glad you are able to see past that. I'm assuming she is getting the help she needs with that?

Yes, I know the type that would be waiting for the 1st moment to "blame and shame" you. I can tell you have a big heart because despite all you are going thru yourself, you say you don't want to make her depressed/funny and as you had experience of addiction in the family via her brother you are trying to get things back on an even keel without putting her thru that again.

Glad you have MN as a space to talk, we are anon enough to be a distance from the situation but close enough to be able to talk to same people

"you've realized enough is enough, and you want to stop....not because you've been told to, or forced to, but because you want to" exactly what @Bexter801 said

That is the 1st major step, realizing you want to change things for the better,

@madein1995 hopefully you got good sleep last night, here is a sleep calculator might be useful to help get good rest www.hillarys.co.uk/static/sleep-calculator/

So meal plan/ healthy eating next week, is it the following week you start in the new job? Have you thought about what you might like to take for lunch there? So looking forward rather than back.

I'm waving my pom poms for you and if anything can help with, ask.. if I have the answers I will tell you but I can't give medical advice not just cos of MN rules its cos I'm not a medic (i did do a 1st aid course years ago lol)

Well done OP that sounds very positive. Smurfy I hope you are soon feeling better.

smurfy sorry you're feeling rough, hope you feel much better soon. Thank you for being so kind to me, I know I'm nice deep inside but it's tough when you're being called selfish in RL. Mam isn't getting help - Dr has given her tablets, she won't take them but let's Dr think she is. Back last year we had an incident and she promised to get help but hasn't.

It is the following week I start the new job. Very excited! It's business dress and I'm looking forward to dressing smart rather than a blue uniform! I may have gone overboard buying skirts/dresses/tights/boots/trousers/smart tops etc! It's the first proper, professional job I've had and even though I'm very junior (starting at bottom rung of ladder) I'm looking forward to dressing up a bit.

With lunches it depends on if there's a microwave or not. I think I'll take a salad, with a yogurt and fruit or a sandwich my first day and see how it goes. I hope there is a micro as then I'll be able to take rice and chicken, leftovers from the night before, soups etc, otherwise it'll just be salads and sandwiches, which is OK.

Job is shift work but not proper shift work, 37 hrs per week, you know your Rota 2 months in advance, it's Monday to Friday, and the earliest start is 8am and latest finish 6.30pm so not real shift work. I train over the gym early mornings but my trainers have said they'll be able to train me in the evening instead, as there's two rooms one trainer will be taking a class and the other will be training me. There is quite a bit of training/extra work to do in the new job but I'm looking forward to that. I got bored in Tesco and think I'll enjoy a challenge. Plus it's all development and improving myself, so when my 15 month contract ends I can apply for a promotion or higher level job.

Hi all,

We just wanted to briefly hop on to say that we haven't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention; if you think your problem could be acute, do so immediately. Even qualified doctors can't diagnose over the internet, so do bear that in mind when seeking or giving advice.

Sorry to interrupt your thread, OP.

Paracetamol (or acetaminophen as its known in the USA) is the number 1 killer from over the counter drugs in the USA because the difference between "safe dose" and "too much, you need a liver transplant" is scarily small.

As bad as the Codeine addiction is for you, the Paracetamol in the Co-Codamol you are taking in those amounts is FAR more life threatening. Please don't mistake it for a safe drug just because you can buy it at the chemist.

OP just to say, maybe be careful about sharing too much identifying info on a public forum.

cocoa just realised how specific my previous post was, you're right, thank you for the advice

no problem, easy to forget sometimes that there are lots of folk reading.

I've decided to monitor my using this week. Every time I take a tablet, I'm going to write it on my phone. It sounds daft but I'm not sure how many I'm taking. By this, I mean I take say 6 at night, but I might take a few in the morning and I lose track. I think (hope) that by doing this I'll get a better idea of my usage and be better placed to get a handle on things.

The week after I will reduce by half a tablet. I will of course, continue with the healthy eating/exercising. I've got errands to run too, opticians, hair appointments etc. I'm hoping that keeping busy will help me. I'm hoping that if I reduce it by half a tablet I won't really notice it and withdrawals won't be horrendous.

I'm feeling a lot more positive. I've got a plan, I've meal planned, I've got a shopping list and an exercise plan. I can beat this, I can and will do it.

@cocoabutterformula and @madein1995 im feeling a lot better :)

Its very wearing someone calling you all sorts when its not you is the problem its themselves, esp when they have a condition (depression / mood disorder / psychosis or whatever) and want to blame it on anyone else because they cant face up to the fact its an illness and in denial so throwing blame around is easier

Guessing your mam by the sound of it is also building up her anti depressants as well?

New job sounds interesting, always good to have a few pieces to mix and match and co-ordinate for business wear,

If ok to ask and if not outing you, what sort of sector is it in? Its not a supermarket as you got bored in Tesco.

Trainer in the gym is a great idea, it will help longer term for things like when you are doing the "bleep test" for police

"I'm feeling a lot more positive. I've got a plan, I've meal planned, I've got a shopping list and an exercise plan. I can beat this, I can and will do it." waving pom poms wildly for you now