Codeine addiction

[madein1995]

Hi

I'm new here so please be gentle. I'm posting here for traffic, and just want to know about others experiences of codeine/co codamol and how they've overcome it.

I never really used it a few years ago. Mum had it (prescribed) and I'd take a tablet or two when in pain (dislocations etc). When I came home from uni I was unemployed and really down/depressed for about 5 months, and I started taking it heavily then.

Since then, I've used in stages and in different levels. I've gone through periods of using it every day, during the day, only using it at night, and of course withdrawing when the prescription ran out. It sounds daft, but the feeling it gives me is incredible. Providing I know my limit and don't take too many tablets that I feel rough the next day, I'm fine. I'm more positive, cheerful, happy, and I sleep better. I honestly feel sometimes there's no downsides. I function perfectly normal and noone in real life would guess. Mother doesn't notice her prescription going missing as she never uses it (ironically as she doesn't want to get addicted).

I'm not stupid though. I know it must be doing me some harm though. When I withdraw my body aches, I have diarrhea, I have restless legs, I have worse sleep and I suspect that physically at least I am dependant on it.

I can't admit it to anyone in real life. I hate withdrawal. I feel so on edge and down all the time, and part of me can't wait til next Wednesday for mum's prescription to come in, to have more. At the same time I'm going through withdrawal and I'm thinking what is the point in going through this only to have to go through it again, in the future. I want to join the police in the future and know that my cocodamol use will need to stop for this.

The fact that I feel so down without it scares me. I feel really depressed, and I don't know if it's a result of withdrawal or just not medicating. It's not right. I was a lot happier three years ago, and I have been through some stuff since then (not dramatic, unemployment, being assaulted, unemployment, bad family relationships). But surely I should be able to move on from that? I can't let on to anyone that I'm hurting inside, and I should be able to move on from that. I can't afford therapy.

Basically, I'm very confused, a bit scared and a lot fed up of going through withdrawal all over again. I would appreciate support if anyone has been through the same thing.

I'd definitely seek help from NA or private counselling - I wouldn't want this lingering around in my NHS records

I was taking a ridiculous amount of co codomal,codeine and another prescribed tablet every day for about 3 years,got sick of it/me! And decided enough,felt rough as anything,barely able to function for about a week,then quickly started going back to normal,and was like I was never on them. But please do be prepared to feel absolutely crap for about a week(I was pretty much bed bound,shaking,aches,etc),but definitely worth it

A few posters have suggested NA or similar. Are you going to follow up these suggestions?
You will feel grim and in low spirits when you stop taking opiates - withdrawals aren't particularly pleasant - but it will pass. In the meantime you need to take steps to stay off it.
Like a PP I'm confused about the prescription: if your mother doesn't need it don't you cancel it, and if she does need it what does she think is happening to the medicine?

My stopping using will have to come sooner rather than later. I took half Mams prescription (unlike normal when I take strip by strip every few days) and she noticed. Asked if it was me, I said no. The bag was open (didn't stick down tidy) so pretended they'd fallen out and I 'found' them on the landing. it will be tricky now. Two strips she won't notice and will last me say 4 days, but I'm not sure how many she's taking on holiday and I'm wary to take enough to last me as I think her suspicions are raised. Logistically I think to avoid withdrawal on holiday (Saturday) I shouldn't take any now or tomorrow or Friday, to avoid suffering in holiday. Or at least not take any from tomorrow night on. Im not sure whether I would get withdrawals, as I 'only' used yesterday so not sure if it'd be enough to cause withdrawals? Does anyone know? I don't want to suffer in holidays, at the same time Mams on alert so I don't want to be obvious

Unfortunately there's no way of knowing if you will go into withdrawals again... if you do they are likely to peak at 48 hours past your last use and for the large part be over 96 hours after your last dose.

If I've got this right you are taking five before you go to sleep? This in itself is dangerous. As a pp has said, it turns to morphine in the body. Google morphine overdose and breathing when asleep. I'm hoping the results might shock you into changing this behaviour.

As a pp has said, it turns to morphine in the body. Google morphine overdose and breathing when asleep. I'm hoping the results might shock you into changing this behaviour. 

If this method genuinely worked I would be redundant and my services as detox nurse would not be required.

take I've had a google and it it sobering reading. Even though there's tablets in the house, I know I'll have to stop after tomorrow because I don't want to make mam and dad suspicious.

I couldn't bear them knowing, mam's nephew was an alcoholic and died and I can't put her through that again. When I'm back off holiday I'll look at getting some support, and see if there's a therapist near me. When I went to counselling before (in uni) it brought out some unpleasant things and made me feel worse, if that makes sense. I need to do it though.

Just really hoping I don't get withdrawals on holiday now.

You could always pretend you have the flu on holiday and just ride out the withdrawal if you feel able?

And definitely seek counselling again- bringing up bad stuff is part and parcel of counselling, stick with it and you will work through the bad stuff and get out the other side instead of pushing it down so it spill out through addictions or actions again.

I've taken 4 strips of tablets which will last me the holiday comfortably. I might not get such a high but can't risk taking more, and this will keep withdrawals at bay. Now to cross my fingers and hope it doesn't get noticed.

I will need to look into therapy when I get back. I'm starting a new job so will have more money for it, and could look for a therapist near to place of work I guess

@madein1995,hope you don't mind me saying this,but it comes from a place of truth....you don't sound like you actually want to come off them....more your wanting a way of how to hide it. Either way,it's your choice.

Bexter you're right in a way. For the holiday my main concern is managing to not go through withdrawals while not making things obvious. I do want to enjoy the holiday without the ill effects. I also don't want anyone especially my parents, to find out.

Long term I want to stop. It's more like I know I need to stop really. I can't carry on this way forever, something will happen and it'll all come out, I want to stop before that happens. I know it's not a healthy way to live, counting the days til the next prescription, and I am fed up of doing the same thing over and over. In my heart of hearts I don't want to stop the lovely feeling. But my head's telling me I need to stop. But I can't go through withdrawal while on holiday, we'd be together as a family all the time and I don't think I could pretend nothing was happening. It will be easier, kind of, to do it when off holiday as parents work etc so will have less attention on me and less need to act all ok.

Sorry for the big rambling post, and if it makes no sense!

No need to be sorry,I'm guessing from your terms of words ''mam'',and because you can't buy codeine over the counter,you may be from Ireland! The only thing I know from my own experience,is whether people know,don't know,is far less important than the control it has on you,way more mentally than physically,because after continuous use of them,they no longer give you a buzz,hence needing more,and vicious circle. They start dominating everything,first thing in the morn,before whatever,lunch,you go out,after bath,waiting few hours before can take again,waiting till next prescription,nabbing a few wherever you can,fanthom pains. There actually doing you nothing,only playing a messed up game in your head...which really only boils down to when you want to stop playing.

Can you take one table fewer every day until you are down to zero? Even if it takes a month.
Or would that not work. Apologies for my ignorance on the subject. I imagine that that is what I'd do in your shoes.

I thought that too. I thought you might be Irish.

You can buy solpadeine otc but of course you get twenty questions and I do know people who have ended up driving further and further away to chemists where staff don't know them.

I'm not an expert at all on this stuff. I was at the pharmacy the other day with severe back pain - wanting some more painkillers. The guy ahead of me ordered co-codamol so I did too but when she put it on the counter it said in large letters that it was addictive so I asked the pharmacist about it and she said if you use it for more than 2 weeks it has that danger. So I asked for something different.

Go to the GP - its confidential and you need treatment.

Solpadeine is like gold In Ireland,though the pharmacists continuous refusing,makes it seem like some wonderous gem if they give you a scabby pack of 12!

Bex you're right, I keep needing more and more tablets for a good effect. Atm 5 tablets only gets me slightly buzzed, and I know my tolerance is getting higher. I'm amazed that for someone who's relatively intelligent I'm stupid enough to do the same thing each month. Withdraw, back on, withdraw, back on, over and over it goes. It has a hold over me definitely. I felt great Tuesday morning, over withdrawals and genuinely feeling good. Yet when the prescription came in I couldn't stop myself from taking some tablets.

I'm from Wales. I could get them over the counter (did last year when I had a ear infection and genuinely needed stronger painkillers and prescription ran out) but they're a lot weaker. They're 8/500 so I'd need to take 4 of them just to get the same level of high as I do on a 30/500 tablet. It'd mean me taking large amounts of tablets at that time, and I know that taking that much paracetamol at a time would be really risky

I saw one of those out of hours doctor at the weekend last Saturday and the room was papered (literally) with posters like this ''no tramadol - annie murphy also known as Annie Flynn, or Aine Flynn or Aine F Murphy'' and long lists of other people and all of their aliases and what they might be trying to get hold of. The doctor could see how nosy I was reading over his shoulder.

Fake names obviously.

celtic taking one less every few days seems like a good idea, thank you. Less of a shock to the system and hopefully less physical effects.

kiss goodbye to feeling buzzed.
If you're not in discomfort that'd be tolerable wouldn't it?

madein1995, or even HALF a tablet less each day. Just gradually gradually moving in the right direction. You didn't get yourself in to this situation overnight.

There's absolutely no point beating yourself up about it,Or go over how you landed yourself in this situation,rather remember how good you felt Tuesday....and focus on that. When your ready(not when you feel you should be),then try again,you'll surprise yourself,and won't recognise yourself when your completely off them. I won't lie,it's hard,but crazy how after a week or so,you'll almost forget you ever took them. But for now,go easy on yourself,you'd be shocked how many people are in the same boat

@CelticSelkie,it's crazy,solpadeine,nurofen plus used to be easily accessed over the counter,it's only in the last 6 or so years,they're acting like it's a class A drug in Ireland

Agh I'm in a state. On holiday, had lovely day but hate accommodation. Bed is hard as fuck, pillows uncomfortable, have taken Co codamols, can't settle, keep having weird dreams tossing and turning and can't drop off, also feel sick. No reason to the post other than needing to vent