Codeine addiction

[madein1995]

Hi

I'm new here so please be gentle. I'm posting here for traffic, and just want to know about others experiences of codeine/co codamol and how they've overcome it.

I never really used it a few years ago. Mum had it (prescribed) and I'd take a tablet or two when in pain (dislocations etc). When I came home from uni I was unemployed and really down/depressed for about 5 months, and I started taking it heavily then.

Since then, I've used in stages and in different levels. I've gone through periods of using it every day, during the day, only using it at night, and of course withdrawing when the prescription ran out. It sounds daft, but the feeling it gives me is incredible. Providing I know my limit and don't take too many tablets that I feel rough the next day, I'm fine. I'm more positive, cheerful, happy, and I sleep better. I honestly feel sometimes there's no downsides. I function perfectly normal and noone in real life would guess. Mother doesn't notice her prescription going missing as she never uses it (ironically as she doesn't want to get addicted).

I'm not stupid though. I know it must be doing me some harm though. When I withdraw my body aches, I have diarrhea, I have restless legs, I have worse sleep and I suspect that physically at least I am dependant on it.

I can't admit it to anyone in real life. I hate withdrawal. I feel so on edge and down all the time, and part of me can't wait til next Wednesday for mum's prescription to come in, to have more. At the same time I'm going through withdrawal and I'm thinking what is the point in going through this only to have to go through it again, in the future. I want to join the police in the future and know that my cocodamol use will need to stop for this.

The fact that I feel so down without it scares me. I feel really depressed, and I don't know if it's a result of withdrawal or just not medicating. It's not right. I was a lot happier three years ago, and I have been through some stuff since then (not dramatic, unemployment, being assaulted, unemployment, bad family relationships). But surely I should be able to move on from that? I can't let on to anyone that I'm hurting inside, and I should be able to move on from that. I can't afford therapy.

Basically, I'm very confused, a bit scared and a lot fed up of going through withdrawal all over again. I would appreciate support if anyone has been through the same thing.

There is also such a thing as Staggered Paracetamol Overdose

patient.info/doctor/paracetamol-poisoning

Yes i know its aimed at medical professionals but anyhow

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-three-dies-accidental-paracetamol-7157388

Please please get a liver function test op, there is no point making all these plans for the future if your liver is knackered.

I didn't get the job :(

It's ok and things will be ok.

It's normal to have to interview for lots, there are disappointments along the way, everyone has this experience as they look for a new place to work.

I know how disappointing it is. I have lots of stories, as does everyone. It's always good interview experience. You get the the place you are meant to be in the end.

Are you home now?

Early night and get some rest is best idea I think, have some tea, it's relaxing, that's a lot of travel and stress in last few days, so relax a bit now.

Sorry to hear you didn't get the job

I can't remember if there were any details of the job you went for but I think it was working with people and supporting them (esp women and children).

"I've found similar jobs all around the country so will apply for those too" Have you heard about on any of the other ones,

Would it be possible doing a cover letter with any application asking that due to distance / time constraints that they would consider allowing you to do interviews by skype due to the fact you currently are working 9-5 but wish to change sector to working with people rather than your current which is admin and (sounds like) you live very rurally with very poor transport links and so travelling to most cities would involve at least 2 days of travel and a hotel stay,

If you were successful with the job you need to be prepared to make the move to wherever

Those type of jobs come up all over the country so keep that in mind,

Harping on again here, in the meantime before you can even think about helping anyone else you need to help yourself. You cant pour from an empty cup.

From my own post on Tuesday 12th June, "on the 24th of May, you reached out by FB messenger to local drugs services that was a massive step. The agency signposted me to another agency, but I've not had the courage to email them yet. I urge you to contact them while you wait for GP appointment".

Could you follow up the agency that you were signposted on to, I know you don't want to see/speak to GP about all this.

You need to or it the agency could arrange via a clinic to get basic medical done, however in the interests of transparency they need to communicate with your GP re any results so they can take appropriate actions.

if you need to skirt around the conversation as such, it could be "Hello GP, can you do an LFT to check prolonged paracetamol usage, its part of codeine addiction which I am engaging with X agency for help, can you offer any other help? Thank you"

So the shorter version is getting help for yourself first before you can help anyone else

hi guys, I'm moving this to substance addiction if anyone is looking for it

Another lady posted about codeine earlier so might be worth looking at her thread to give advice.

Another job will come up x

How are you today? @Madein1995

I'm ok thanks smurfy. I've had another knock back - applied for an EO job (one grade up from me and permanant) and a day later it's returned as unsuccessful. They didn't even ask me to do a judgement/behaviour test thingy :( I've been looking at jobs online but just feel too lazy to apply. Might apply tomorrow.

I've ordered, and recieved, more co-codamol. I did order just codeine before but the feeling just wasn't the same. It arrived fine and as I was here I took it, so parents none the wiser. I can't order them to arrive in the week, and only when mam is in bed, so I need to be careful and limit myself. I'm tempted to overindulge now I've got a supply - I must be strict and stick to only taking them at weekends, not during the week.

The two job knock backs have hurt a bit, to be honest. I feel crap, like I'm no good, what's even the point? I'm not going to be successful or do anything with my life so what's the point in trying? I'm going to stay in this bloody area, I'm never going to have a better life or standard of living

That doesn't have to be true Made
Lots of people apply for many jobs before they get the one they want. Didn't you just get your current job recently? There could be many reasons why you didn't progress in the EO one. Have you asked for feedback?
I know you don't want to go to the GP about the codeine but could your mental health be suffering and that's why you're using the cocodamol? Maybe you could see the GP about this to see if there's any other medication which could help?

Madein
I'm sorry you didn't get the job.
I am a recovering addict and total abstinence is the only way. I am sorry your parents make life difficult for you but - as other posters have said, if you move out your addiction won't go away until you address it.
Please go to NA - there you will find the help that you need.

You may for the moment just use at weekends but that won't last. Addiction is a progressive illness that won't go away without help.

I know this can't go on forever, it's not realistic to think it can. I really don't want outside help though. My parents, friends think I'm all sorted now. If I admit it to them I have to admit to myself and that'll make me feel so utterly Shit. I will get better, hopefully under my own steam. At the moment things are too much and I'm using, but I'm finding it good to post on here

@madein1995 @Madein1995

Hi, your last few posts haven't shown you as the original poster because you've used a capital M in your user name and so the system thinks you are a different user.

What I was posting to ask was, why would getting help involve your parents? I just don't understand this.

You're an adult and you don't have to tell them everything you do.

Things won't change unless you get help.

the fact that you're more worried about your parents finding out that you have not sorted it, than you are about the seriously life-threatening effects of paracetamol on your liver is cause for concern.

I've been following this since your first post and it's breaking my heart to read how you are going further and further into your addiction.

You've had some fantastic advice here and I'm sure most other people reading and posting feel the same as I do and are really willing you to get help and move forward.

With telling my parents - they are very involved/clingy. I want to go to counselling but what excuse would I give? Dad gives me a lift to and from work - so even if I found a counseller in uni town, I'd not be able to get there, do a session and get back in time and they'd not believe I was finishing late all the time. Besides which counselling would involve going into some horrible things, which will be tough enough anyway, let alone doing it while living at home.

Very dozy today. The cocodamol didn't give me such a high - maybe cos I was so tired that I dropped right off, normally I stay awake 40mins after to feel the high then drop off. The tablets look different to ones I've had before (round, not long and thin) but they're prescribed by a dr and the website has the green pharmacy sign on so they must be real.

Had a broken nights sleep last night - bloody heat - and feel sleepy and dozy today. Been to the gym too. Mam and dad's been arguing again, I feel sorry for dad sometimes the way she carries on. The jobs I'm going to apply for I'll do at some point in the week, part of me thinks I should stop trying so hard. After October I can apply for internal jobs, and maybe I should just relax in the meantime. If another refuge type job comes up then I could apply for it but until then I should just take things steady, focus on getting healthier. I've been completely off track with my diet - that needs to change.

On a sensible level I know the amount of paracetamol isn't great for my liver, though I'm reluctant to go to drs. What are the symptoms/tell tale signs?

There are no symptoms or sign until it's too late.

The concern is that you have been and keep taking so much of it, that's it.

Who knows what you ordered, a doctor would not prescribe something without seeing you and and anyone can make a website with anything.

How do you time the deliveries so precisely?

lumarie I did my research before ordering, under UK law you can buy online provided you do an online consultation (a few questions) and the website is registered here and in EU (two signals/labels on screen plus you can search via a gov. website to make sure they are). I am limiting how much I'm taking now. With being precise, it's 2 days between ordering and it arriving so a case of timing, and I paid a bit extra for delivery before midday

What's your dosage?

3 or 4 30/500 before bed. I went a bit over that last night and took some more early hours this morning, but I'm going to start being stricter. Leave them in my desk drawer in work and only take a strip home at weekends so that I'm not tempted.

Please call NA.

That’s a dose of paracetamol that is going to do you serious damage. The codeine is addictive at that level but it’s the paracetamol thats the biggest threat to short term health.

Please, please go see your GP for liver tests.

There are no signs or symptoms of liver failure in the main. The liver tends to take a battering for so long, then it will fail. When it does, it is irreversible. It’s not a case of you’ll get symptoms, stop or rein back a bit and it’ll recover. It’ll fail, irreversibly.

How many g of paracetamol are you taking a day? And in what doses? You should never take more than the recommendation on the pack spaced out as it says on the pack.

4 x 500mg = 2g. The Max safe dose at one time is 1g, and then you need time before the next dose.

I've just read through this whole thread, the amount of excuses you've put up for every reasonable suggestion, and the amount of putting off you've done, I'm surprised people have stuck with you for so long. Your first excuse was counselling would be too expensive, I know round here its £50 a session with a private therapist, you must spend that a week on alcohol and now tablets combined surely?

The jobs you want to do, if you carry on as you are, you're never going to be able to keep it up. The people you say you want to help, you'll be fraudulentlying doing so. You can't help others if you can't help yourself, you'll be a hypocrite every day.

What are you telling your friend in real life about all this, you said you'd discussed it with her? Could you not use her as an excuse for going to the counselling place, say you're meeting her somewhere nearby, and she be a willing alibi? I really hope you figure something out as you have a bright future head of you if you tackle your demons.

Fraudulently*

You drink too? That will exacerbate the effect of the paracetamol.

You need to see your GP.