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Original poster

Just Surf, feat Lost and The Small Mercies

991 replies

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 25/09/2017 14:48

Hello and welcome to our support thread for anyone struggling with cocaine. Whether you want to quit, cut down or are someone whose life is affected, all welcome. Smile
We offer non judgemental advice, tips, some silly chat and most importantly lots of support and encouragement.

Come and join and we'll all help each other surf the urges!

OP posts:
nicedaywhiteboardmarker · 03/01/2018 16:38

Thank you so much earlynineties for your lovely reply.

Mad thing is... I would have carried on as we were, using occasionally... Having a bit of fun here and there. But this episode has told me that I can't trust him and had made me think I don't want the drug in my life anymore, at all. If he'd have told me he wanted to go on a bender with his mates, I probably would have been okay with it... And I am sure he knows this... That as long as he is transparent about it I don't mind. It's the sneakiness I hate.

And he may well have said about getting help just to appease me while I was having a go at him. He knows this is very probably the end of us, I said so the last time he did this. I guess only time will tell.

I am not sure how long to leave it before I contact him, or what to say to him. Hod this is shit.

Anyway sorry for hijacking the thread! I may well need to come back on here for practical support if I too am going to give it up completely!!!

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 03/01/2018 16:57

Coke's a bastard alright. It can turn the loveliest people into lying addicts. It's probably really hard to separate the addict from the person but if it's any consolation your dh is probably hating himself over this. The ball's in his court though. He's got to stick to his words and stop all the lying.

You have got to think of yourself and your family though nice. Just take some time to think about what you want and get your head straight.

You're not hijacking! I'd love to hear how you're getting on. x

OP posts:
serialtester · 03/01/2018 17:05

You haven't hijacked it at all! Feel free to post away - you're in a difficult situation.

serialtester · 03/01/2018 17:06

And as lost says, coke turns us all into right twats.

nicedaywhiteboardmarker · 03/01/2018 17:18

Thanks so much! I've used coke off and on for 15 years, somewhat irregular user, never had a problem with it until now. Never actually ever bought the stuff, it's always sort of been around.

Not sure when to contact dp or what to say. Eep. Good to have some support here though, any suggestions as to what the fuck I do next would be greatly appreciated!

gingergenius · 03/01/2018 18:22

Hi! Me again - delurking again to say hi!

I think that the urges are driven by the desire to get out of it - out of humdrum responsible tedious workaday family life, daily job , daily grind , and a fast track to feeling good that you would have to work damn hard for via eg exercise

^^this.

Finally ditched my oh after months of shit. He's the main reason I've used as he was my 'get off my tits' buddy. Am also tackling the booze for the same reasons as above and feeling quite sad and a bit lost but intend to make 2018 a lot more successful.

Hope you don't mind me butting in!

nicedaywhiteboardmarker · 03/01/2018 18:46

Hi Ginger, I'm new to the thread. Sorry to hear you broke up with your dp. But something you said struck home "get off my tits buddy" and I am not sure whether there is some of that in my relationship. Sorry to ask but I wondered if you would elaborate on what brought you to that conclusion and what was the last straw?? Of course you can tell me to buzz off if you so please!

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 03/01/2018 20:55

Ginger that takes guts. I'm sorry you're feeling a bit sad and wobbly. We're here to hand hold/ moan to!

I think most of us can identify with having a "partner in crime" or a Get High Buddy whether that's a partner, friend or whatever Blush

OP posts:
serialtester · 03/01/2018 21:45

Hell yes to the partner in crime. It must be dreadfully hard when it's your DP/DH.

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/01/2018 18:11

Evening all Wine
How's everyone been getting on now the Christmas and New year excitement has died down?

Really knackered here after the shock of going back to work and resuming my running. I've not touched anything for just over a week and must admit I'm feeling wobbly tonight. My brain just equates Friday evenings with getting messed up. Oh dear, trying not to think about it.

Hope everyone else is confidently surfing the Danger Zone.

OP posts:
HoochiMama · 05/01/2018 21:11

Hi Lost, resolutely onboard here. I have only just recovered from that horrible virus even though been back at work since Tues. Well done on the running, I'm meant to training for a marathon ha ha, haven't run properly for ages and then bloody ill! We live in hope...

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/01/2018 21:21

Glad you're feeling better you poor thing. Bugs like that knock the stuffing out of you (sorry xmas pun) Hmm
I'm impressed with your marathon plans! That's a brilliant thing to aim for. I'm not even at the half marathon stage- had an awful stitch today after 10 minutes Grin

Have drunk some Christmas brandy given to Mr.Lost by his bosses. It's just about finished me off. Probably not the best distraction technique.Hic.

OP posts:
HoochiMama · 05/01/2018 21:54

Well as long as it keeps you on your board that's all that matters! My level of fitness is no better than yours, it will be a bloody miracle if I actually manage the training but not giving up yet! Have a good weekend x

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/01/2018 22:05

Remember the tortoise wins the race. Wink

OP posts:
serialtester · 06/01/2018 12:06

Morning! Well done hooch and lost, sounds like you've had a right nasty bug hooch you poor thing. Still on board here, must be about 6 weeks now!

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 06/01/2018 14:35

Yo Serial. 6 weeks is blooming brilliant, especially over the Christmas and New year. Nasal hair envy! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 06/01/2018 14:38

Woke up not only aching all over from my enthusiastic running but also with a brandy hangover. Not a great combo.
Still on board though - day 8.

OP posts:
serialtester · 06/01/2018 23:42

I did a huge swerve tonight. Multiple people with the goods. I went home. I actually played the getting fucked up film to the end and said no.

HoochiMama · 07/01/2018 00:18

Well done Serial, that's hardcore swerving! I haven't had a drink since NYE, I'm thinking I might try Dry January falls on floor laughing!

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 07/01/2018 11:41

Pro surfing there Serial! You can reap the benefits of that decision this morning, waking up with a clear head.

It sounds like you're nearly a third way there with Dry Jan Hooch. I'll aim for a drier Jan by not drinking spirits. I've been put off by my brandy induced illness yesterday.
A spiritless January for me Confused

Enjoy the weekend all.

OP posts:
gingerbread88 · 07/01/2018 17:17

Just popped on to say Happy New Year. Good surfing everyone - especially serial given it was there last night. Massive restraint and one I know I would have succumbed to if I had enough booze inside me (remember I said I had to completely change who I was mixing with in the end....)
I am sporting a running injury at the moment and also meant to be training for a few events coming up so very annoying!
Have a good week surfers

gingerbread88 · 07/01/2018 17:22

I have to say, the longer I have surfed (since a blip one night in June 2016) even hangovers do me in these days. I still get those but running seems to keep me on the straight and narrow (it was a bit of a saviour for me)
I don't have a stop button with booze - one bottle of wine turns into two etc! I still partake but not as regularly.....

ponzusoup · 07/01/2018 19:01

Letting side down here as shoe not quite empty. 2 lines with DP last night. When it's gone it's gone. Ridiculous really to be blotting copybook by using so little.

Feeling inspired by you lot. Maybe should take up running.

Original poster
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/01/2018 18:52

You're not doing too badly Ponz I'm agog at your restraint with the New Year's eve (shoe year's eve? Hmm) stash.

The only way I can motivate myself to run is to force myself to run home from work every other day. Obvs not possible if you're commuting into London or something! There's always the lovely Yoga Tim?

Hello Ginger I can relate to the difficulty locating an off switch. It can be a real problem Sad
I wish I could be that person to just have a couple of glasses and one line and then announce "well that's me, I'm heading home now" that's never happened ever

OP posts:
gingerbread88 · 08/01/2018 19:20

Never happened to me either (ever) Lost who are these people who can do that?!
I'm the same with everything.
If I had a night out now and was offered some (unlikely but you never know) I am 90% sure I wouldn't say no if I was a few drinks down and then it would be fast forward to me trying to get more at 3am not wanting the party to end.
If I wasn't avoiding booze at the moment because of my training then I would without fail congratulate myself on getting to Friday, open up a nice bottle of white, sink that and then have my nose in the fridge eyeing up bottle number 2.
Perhaps we're just more honest than a lot of people!
Currently sporting a bit of a 'runners knee' still went out and did 7 miles today when the physio said it's best to have a rest. See - I can't help myself! EVERYTHING in excess