Just Surf, feat Lost and The Small Mercies

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Hello and welcome to our support thread for anyone struggling with cocaine. Whether you want to quit, cut down or are someone whose life is affected, all welcome.
We offer non judgemental advice, tips, some silly chat and most importantly lots of support and encouragement.

Come and join and we'll all help each other surf the urges!

I think mumsnet should buy me a john Lewis oven dish set.

I’ve fell off last weekend. I get to Saturday and think fuck it I’ll just get a bit.

Back there right now, have sent the text but as yet no reply. I’m now at war with myself as to whether to cancel 😭

Fellia, it's so difficult isn't it? For me Friday is my danger day.

At the moment I'm literally taking it hour by hour and reminding myself of how shit my comedowns are. It's hard though.

*Serial
*
Yes 100%

Saturday is just my downfall. I start thinking about it on Friday. I’ve had a mental battle with myself today and unfortunately have given in (well nearly, I’m so close)

I could just leave it. Arghhhh I hate this!!! Why do we do this to ourselves, it’s not worth it. It is at the time**

I think we all understand the awful psychological grip of coke felia I have that mental battle with my self sometimes. The cravings make me want to believe it's a one off, I'll just have a tiny bit, I'll be fine tomorrow...
Not sure if this is helping! But I understand it's hard.

Hope you're alright x

I'm having an early bath and tele in bed evening!

After being clean for 4 months i have go e ovwrboard in a fucking spectacular fashion

I have been following these threads as my inspiration but all of the kids are out tonight and my DH come home with 2g

It’s like a fucking reward or something for being clean for so long

I feel like a cunt for doing it when I should have just said no

Tantrums - don't beat yourself up. Get back on the surfboard tomorrow.

Welcome Tantrums 4 months clean is brilliant. I hope you're not feeling too dreadful today and can put this behind you and get back on track.

Morning surfers

Ponz you've been quiet! Hope you're ok x

Sending out positive Sunday vibes. Feeling alright here although still have an underlying panic that I've loads of Christmas shopping to do.

Enjoy your Sunday all.

I'm psyching myself up for some shopping lost! Imagine panic buying on a comedown!!!

Gawd that's a small mercy. Panic Christmas shopping on a comedown would break a person. I'm having flashbacks to last year queuing in busy shopping centre listening to that bloody Mariah Carey song and shuddering.

Thanks for thinking of me lost. Been lurking but overboard on and off so not posting. Silly really . Going to make sure the shoe is empty by ny day 2018 then no more will be bought. Can't beat new year for a new start.

Well done those surfing through the choppiest waters of the year and courage to those in the water.

Hug for Ponz It really wreaks havoc with your mood eh? I've not been doing great lately and just felt so drained and tired this last week on top of anxious about everything to do before Christmas! ..And then turning to my old friend for help. It's easy to fall into that vicious cycle.

I'm also planning to really get my teeth into my surfboard in the New Year. Glad you're still floating about

Ponz, you can still post when you're overboard.

This time of year is a killer for self resolve. Yesterday was hour by hour - today is minute by minute.

And I had a coke dream last night.

Was it about Father Christmas turning up with a big red lorry full of coke to distribute? Irresponsible man.

I agree, this time of year mucks up my resolve. Christmas seems to be all about excess which is tricky for an old fool like me!

Determined to surf this week. Keep strong Serial It'll be worth it when you win the Surfing Crown of Advent.

I am going to keep on. It's been over 2 weeks now since I last splashed and I do feel better staying off it. It's just so hard though! Last nights dream involved chopping out loads of lines. I don't think Santa was there!

It's weird how those sorts of dreams are so vivid. Let's not analyse it too much!
I'm pleased Santa wasn't there at least. That would have been depraved

Yes, even I have standards!

Thanks serial I know I can I just feel bad and guilty and end up being a dick about posting! Part of my ' I need to be perfect and in control and not admit I've lapsed' even on here how fucking stupid. You've all helped me so much.

Don't worry Ponz we all have our flaws. I have loads. We still love you!

Forcing myself to have an early night as part of my Clean Week before Christmas regime.
Wishing everyone a good week x

Having a bit of a Christmas blip here. Despite having loads to do still and working until Friday thought it was a really good idea to go overboard with Mr R last night. Am now sitting at my desk staring at a spreadsheet and pretending I'm absolutely fine whilst dying inside Hey ho, hope everyone else is clinging on!

Ah that doesn't sound fun Hooch! Hope you're over the worst of it and planning an early night. That feeling is just awful, chin up nearly home time.

I've been fairly virtuous this week, just working, shopping and sleeping mainly.
Last day at work tomorrow so really looking forward to a few days off. At the moment I'm ignoring the voice in my head saying "Mwah ha ha a few days off? Why don't you get messed up on drugs and drink yourself into oblivion? You know you want to"

Hope everyone ok x

Sounds like the voice in my head last night... Go on, you're home alone, it's nearly Christmas... I ignored it for a good hour then got bored Home already and feeling better but not sure I can face food shopping though!