The bishop leads the turkeys out of dangerous waters. Arm bands optional.

[serialtester]

Open!!

Woohoo! Another friend is coming to get it this morning! :)

Oh good you've arranged a drug deal
Only joking, that's brilliant news and now you can relax, safe in the knowledge that you're epic and slightly richer!

Wishing everyone a safe surf this Tuesday. Daffodils are out and I'm full of the joys of Spring today

Hello surfers! Sorry it's been a while, but the Manchester detox has been all consuming!! And Liam has a very high sex drive so keeps me very busy

I have had reasonable results. Was able to stay off it for 2 1/2 weeks (bar a cheeky 4 lines). This is pretty big for me, as have been having a big session at least once a week for the past year. However I fell off the board this weekend, but also honestly feel my body is giving me warning signs now that it's under pressure. Have been getting chest pain and pressure as well as a headache since Saturday. Reading about the poor OP on the other thread OD'ing is very sobering.

SO I have ramped up the detox. As DH is my source for coke and my partner in crime, I figure I need some time away from him. He has agreed to move out for a couple of weeks, after that we are away for Easter hols, so that takes me to a month clean hopefully. I know at some stage I need to be able to just say NO
If it's on offer, but at present this is a virtual impossibility when I know it's in the house (or can be in the house in 15minutes if I say the word).

Have kept a low profile on here as I have to admit I do sometimes find it triggers thoughts of using. However I equally find the thread comforting and supportive. Think you are all fucking amazing.....surf on in your own way surfers.....

Cleaning I hope you are ok? Also I often think of Rainbow (the original surfer dude) who had the guts to start this amazing thread....we wouldn't be here without you, please let us know how you and your DD are

Flat, sounds like (apart from stealing my Liam) you've had a tough time of it over the past few weeks. I'm throwing extra armbands. 2 and a half weeks is a fantastic achievement though, well done!

Yay, The professor returns! I've missed your theories on life and your lovely encouraging words on here.
I thought you'd emmigrated to Manchester, formed a new brit pop band with Liam, connected with his balls and had his love child.

You're doing bloody great. Yes I know what you mean about your body giving you warning signs! I really suffer these days and know if I carry as I have been, a body part will probably fall off or something too horrible to think about

My aim is also for a month clean. My record surf to date on this thread has been two and a half weeks so snap. I feel a bit 2 steps forward, 1 back but it's progress.

You really sound like you have your head round this. Your mindset and sheer bloody determination is what will carry you through and that attitude can stop you returning to your old habits.

Great that dh is supporting you, I am too!

Thanks serial! Tbh I am more than happy to share Mr Gallagher....he is pretty high maintenance I have to say

Thanks Lost for your encouraging words, hope you realise you are the backbone of this thread surfboard. We all owe you one Think we have a similar cycle you and I.....we will get there.....you with your balls of steel and me with my professorising. In fact I know we will all do it!! We have no choice we have to, the alternative doesn't bare thinking about. So good to have people like Serial and pickle on here as inspiration.

Ah this is brilliant, we're all love bombing each other!

You're right, we will get there. There's a reason you don't see any old grannies on coke, and I want to be a granny! (Not right now obviously, my kids aren't old enough) but I want a new normal.

If you can tear yourself away from Liam, please let me know how you're getting on from time to time x

Ewwwww doing coke in our 60's Lordy, that image is both terrifying and hilarious at the same time!!! Will definitely pop my head in in a couple of weeks. In the meantime more than happy to be PM'd if anyone fancies a coffee and a chat with The Professor...

Hi flat, it's defo hard when you want to stop and your dh doesn't even see it as a problem. I'm in the same boat! If id stayed at home last Saturday I reckon we'd of both been on it.

Maybe the way forward, Got is to ask for your dh to stick to a "none in the house" rule? or at least not having coke parties at home where it's in your face.
Do you think it would be possible for him to keep it away from you and accept you've come off it? And for you to accept that he wants to occasionally use?

It's very difficult I know! My dh doesn't want the coke lifestyle anymore than I do, we've taken it too far now to just go back to dabbling socially but we can be a bad influence on each other even so.

Got its so hard having a co-conspirator. It's totally my responsibility that I have gone this far down the line with coke, however I can't imagine it could have got this bad if he didn't do it too. Dunno maybe wrong there?

I feel really sad that we need to be apart for a while. But i figure if I can get strong then we are in a way better position to get back a healthy normality, than if we stay in this sinking ship together

Hello dahlings (channels inner Joan Collins for no apparent reason).

Oh man you are all in such a good place head wise, strategic thinking, goals and plans made, positive attitude all round.

I'm having a minor wobble so could do with getting on board with the board because I'm in a danger zone suddenly of thinking 'obviously I am in control now so I could have one'

FOR ME: ONE IS NOT AN OPTION

please will you all get your fish shaped things and slap me round the chops?

It's hard but I think it's a brave move, Flat to address it on your own and protect your resolve. It's much easier to drift along with your head in the sand (my favourite default position!)

The positive being that your dh has shared the experience with you, he understands it so supports you. That's worth it's weight in gold.

Hi, Joan Pickle, you've gone all performing arts on us dahling.

You know what, when I got all cocky on the board after being clean a while, going to the wedding and thinking I'd cracked it, I bloody fell overboard! Exactly thinking like you; that I could suddenly miraculously just have 1 or 2 lines and keep it in check.

It made me realise I'm always going to be vulnerable..

Co-conspirator is my new pet name for my dh

I don't know if it'll help but exDP and I put some strategies into place when we were both quitting.
No curry nights out-spicy food always led onto getting on it.
No taking bank cards on nights out-just a generous booze allowance each.
Swapping nights in for the cinema-this one didn't work too well :/

I think you need to see your triggers and cut them out if you can.

Strategies are always good, kinetic. I think nearly all my relapses have been when I haven't planned it and just got swept up in the craving.

A spicy food trigger is a new one on me! I must admit I have loads .

*loads of triggers I mean, I'm not a curry addict

Seriously... It's a fucking Tuesday afternoon!
I have an hour before anyone gets home, have a wine, fucking desperate!!!!

What the fuck is wrong with me???!!!!

ARRRHHH

I'm having a wine. Still have the bag. Got let down earlier.

Kinetic I think you have to flush it, much as that pains me to say.

Oh shit Kinetic I thought you'd arranged a ganster style drug deal!
If you feel tempted, you need to get rid!

Pickle keep your head. Sometimes the planets just align in a certain way and your head gets invaded by coke brain. Resist the tunnel vision.
Hand hold with Dr. Lost

DO NOT eat a spicy madras, Kinetic whatever you do