Weed - my guilty pleasure

[RowRowRowtheFookingBoat]

I smoke weed, there, I said it. It's my guilty pleasure!

I know I need to stop, I want to but it's so fucking hard. Problem being I enjoy it, I remember the 1st time at 17 and thinking this is me and that was it.. hooked! I would say I have smoked it everyday since, apart from the odd attempt to give up.. its sad I know.

I want to give up because I'm 35 now and have a beautiful little girl, she's one and I shouldn't have started up again after I gave birth but of course there was an excuse to.. There always is.

It chills me out, I can function on it.. I'm happy to go without during the day, when I'm working or with family (I smoked everyday yet hid it successfully for 15yrs whilst I lived at home) it's not an issue then. but that's because I know I'll have some later, I always make sure I have some later, it's like I reward myself for getting through the day and kick back and chill when I get home and the babies in bed.

It has to stop thou, I guess I'm looking for likeminded people who feel the need to have something whether it's weed, alcohol other drugs etc.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this post it's something very private to me and not sure how this will help, but if you've got a guilty pleasure too let me know what your thoughts are on why you do it - do we all just in fact need a coping mechanism for life?

That's a difficult question unborn.. I started at 18 to escape an incredibly controlling family.. it kept me sane shall we say!

My MH has struggled this last year after I found out about my dh porn addiction at the same time as having our daughter.. it was a difficult time and I think I had PND which surprised me as I was very much trying for a baby after a miscarriage.. soo I started again after pregnancy to get through the awful revelations and I believe it helped me cope tbh .. I would love counselling but Can't decide to choose someone to help with PND, relationship or drug addiction and on the face of it I can't afford it at the moment which brings me to quitting the weed.. sad but I have to give it a go and a year on from the crap I'm in a much better place.. has the weed helped me or hindered me? I don't know.. but I don't think I would have coped without, if that makes sense!?

I am sorry to hear you struggle with your MH I guess everyone will at some point in their lives.. do you find it helps or is making it worse?

I smoked a huge amount when I was in my teens and twenties - couldn't function without it and used to wake up and smoke most days. Had a full time job - just hid my habit well.

But, I gave up eventually. And my life is infinitely better for it. I was addicted, and it was stopping me from fulfilling a happy life. I'm not saying that giving up is for everyone, but it was the making of me, and I would say that anyone who's thinking of giving up deserves lots of support - your GP could help, as could a charity such as AddAction. All the best, and go easy on yourself. Giving up is hard, and take it one day at a time.

"That shit will rob you of your ambition".

Your brain is a chemistry set, stop messing with it, it's designed to run perfectly and you are interfering with that. You will feel better for it!

Sorry Row I didn't mean to drag up any bad memories.

I struggled with diazepam after a similar loss. I stopped because I ended up overdosing and putting myself in a coma.

You can't really OD on weed (as far as I know) so it can't be much of a deterrent.

Something I've noticed is there doesn't seem to much help with actually quitting the cannabis, I get it's supposed to be none-addictive but I've never met a user who believed that.

I do find the thing about alcohol, I don't really drink, I maybe have one glass every couple of months and a binge 3 times a year. I can't drink at all makes me so ill the next day... and the day after that.

I feel like we have a double life, some of my friends know the real me and others know the front of me the mother.

We do have a normal life on the surface, I'm a sahm, dh has a great career and is progressing well, own our own home, regular holidays etc etc.

The financial side is the biggest motivator for us, as in we spend a few hundred a month on it, and that makes me sick. I have deleted all my numbers now in an attempt to make it harder to get... tho I still wouldn't have to try to hard as when it's been a lifelong habit it's not like I have to go to some some dodgy dealer and make a massive effort it's just there.

Balence49 Exactly! the double life is me to a T! And I agree with comments that I could do so much more with my life if I wasn't/hadn't smoked, but I refuse to go down the path of regret! Good luck and strength to everyone trying to quit!

It's OK unborn I'm dealing with it 😘 So sorry to hear of your overdose! That must have been a horrific time of your life! Don't put yourself under pressure about bud, yes it's addictive but as your aware there are so may worse things out there and you need to give yourself a break. Not many people can go through what I can only imagine you have and have the strength to sort your life out.

In regards to my child smoking it, I think I would be concerned that it would become an addiction and make it clear that experimenting is fine but at some point a line can be crossed with using to help overcome issues opposed to just having a blast once in a while with friends.. xxx

Permanentlystoned it's definitely a case of mind over matter! £70 is def a huge amount each week! And I was on double that at my worst.. the best way I found was to put of and keep putting of that next joint.. if you can kill and hour doing something productive then reward yourself you may find you are able to cut it in half.. I also went for small rizla and added less and less.. kept the bag going that way and lasts much longer 😏 Good luck!!

I don't know if this will help you to know that addiction services (often called recovery services now) can support you to give up weed- it's the second most common drug people are addicted to presenting to these services. So, you are not alone. People often worry they would be wasting their time/not serious enough, that's not the case. Might be worth getting some support.

I wouldn't bother replacing smoking weed with cigarette smoking, all you are doing is carrying on smoking, carrying on the nicotine addiction and it may be you are addicted to nicotine stronger than the weed anyway! If you want to quit smoking, you have to quit it all, if you keep going with one form, you usually just end up back where you started (e-cigs might help with this because they have that 'ahh' moment at the end of the day when you can relax and chill out, lots of people use them loads in the evening).

Don't beat yourself up, we get through life how we can. As long as you are not spending your child's food money on it or unable to function or do your job as a mum what's the problem?

OP, have seen that guy & his TED talk. He is in the Sanjay Gupta documentary also.
Amazing stuff isn't it? Sometimes I think I'd like to move to the States or the Netherlands where it's so much more accepted. My guilt about smoking is only there because even a few of my close friends disapprove... I don't drink, hate the hangover & am actually a prize knob when I have a drink so I prefer a smoke. Hate the double life though, only a few people know I smoke.

I feel amazing! I went to see my uncle the other week and he was ranting on about me smoking (cigarettes) why do you do it? What's the point? It killed my first wife and my father. He then offered me £500 to quit smoking. After leaving his house I thought to myself he had such valid points, I don't even want the money but it just made me think a little more about why I was doing it. I decided I was going to try and quit but thought if I don't smoke fags I will still smoke weed so decided to go cold turkey as suggested by foureyesarebetterthantwo. That Friday i lasted til 9.30pm without a cig or a joint. Then I went down to the rugby club to watch the game and ended up smoking a few then going out after and smoking all night even though I had no fags. On the way back to my house I bought a small pack of tobacco and that still lasted me until today which is longer than usual. That night when I got home I smoked my last joint and decided I wouldn't get any more mainly because I couldn't afford it. I haven't smoked weed since and it feels so good, it's not hard to get up in the morning and I function so well in the day. Now I'm thinking why did I ever get myself so addicted? I decided to quit fags today but I caved and just bought some. Hopefully il quit both soon, even if I do just have the cheeky one when I have a drink. I really just wanted to thank everyone for their advice this post really did help me even though I'm not the OP! Good luck to everyone xx

I smoked it from the age of 14 and gave it up when I was 16 to start a childcare course, I do however smoke it once in a blue moon and really enjoy it when I do it's no different from enjoying a glass of wine to chill and unwind. I also gave up smoking about 4 years ago now but do have the odd fag if I feel like it or if I'm having a drink with a friend. You will feel better when you completely give it up, good luck OP and to everyone else on here.. and to the troll comments take your judgy arses else where that's not what this is for.

Oh wow Noah, that's amazing! Well done and hope you get to splash the cash on a treat for yourself! I need to follow suit and quick! Had a week like you, not smoking except for cigs but caved at the weekend and back to square one.. smoking now when I promised myself I wouldn't in the week!! Aaargh 😏😅 oh well, going to stop again tomorrow.. 🤔

If it helps, I struggle to sleep without.. so have been putting on some hypnosis/guided meditation vids on YouTube and sleeping like a baby.. esp liking the ones for breaking habits and finding ones inner purpose etc sounds a bit hippy but def gives me a positive outlook the next day 😀

Music, you have the perfect balance! Am aspiring to be like you 😀 Thanks for posting 😘

WOWSA that's a lot of smileys 😅🤞🏻🌈

Harree Dr Gupta is spot on, need more people in his profession to speak out, shame he's not in the UK!

I have been Amsterdam 4times and literally cried each time I had to go home 😂 Love the place.. the people, the culture, the acceptance. If you've never been you should go & stay on a houseboat & hire a bike! 😀😀😀

I love Amsterdam. Am lucky as my DH visits there regularly on business trips & I can tag along & amuse myself... Have stayed in hotels, apartments & houseboats & if I didn't have kids, I'd move there tomorrow! Speaking of kids, Duinrell & Efteling are great for family holidays in the Netherlands. 😉

Don't listen to anyone who says 'your poor children etc'. I've know people with piles of money who are the shittest parents and heroin addicts that are admirable. If it doesn't affect your children that doesn't make you a bad parent. However, if you want to quit, first make a note of where and when you're smoking, what caused it, what made you want it. Then yo can see a pattern. Slowly reduce the joints that you don't need till you get to one or two a day. Then cut days out. Write a list of pros and cons, be honest with youtself. There will be more cons - money, guilt, waking up feeling crap etc. Look up substance use itep maps (they'll challenge your views on cannabis) here is some facts about cannabis that might make you think twice----

Cannabis is 20X worse on your lungs than a cigarette.

Cannabis can potentially cure some cancers however this is cannabis OIL. Smoking cannabis is more likely to give you cancer than cigarettes.

Cannabis causes V low motivation.

No street cannabis is safe. Feel it in your thumb and finger. Look at it closely. Google grit weed. Dealers will often spray it. Cannabis has been found to contain glass, sand, opium (same group of drugs as heroin) and even poo (bradford)

Cannabis stay's in your system so much longer than other drugs. It stores in your fat cells so even if you stop, then lose weight, you can still test positive.

The weed you're smoking is skunk, not that hippy resin that didn't do too much. Skunk has been linked to phsycosis due to the high thc content. ThC is a phschotic. CBD is an antiphsychotic. Skunk has a thc level up to double the CBD level which is why it is recently linked to mental health problems.

Look into it, honestly, some stuff is scary.

However you will notice how much better and more energetic you feel after only a few days. You'll want more for yourself and do more. Also just to add.

Your body has a maximum THC capacity so when it hits that point you won't be able to get any higher. So if you wait a few days you'll feel more of an effect.

You're not a bad person you're just addicted. Which can happen to ANYONE. If you need any support go to a drugs service. They're welcoming and none judgemental. Good luck 😊

SS were involved with us during the first few months. They knew my partner smoked everyday and had weed in the house - they said as long as it was out of reach of our DD, he didn't smoke around her, we still had money, our daughter was still well cared for, then they didn't have much concern over it. They left us to it.

My 20 year old son smokes weed every day, he's dropped out of Uni and is struggling to find and hold down part time jobs. I'm so worried about him, he's addicted, he says so. I have freaked out, cried, begged - he's changing, he's got no ambition or motivation and I'm so scared for his future. If he were doing it every now and then or at the weekend, I wouldn't be as worried as I am. Any advice?

Hi cakesrus sorry to hear your worried about your son. My 20yr old self was v similar and I realise now that there's one thing to do it for enjoyment and another to feel the need to smoke it constantly, I was very much like that. Having just had counselling now at 35 I look back and realise I had issues then that I didn't deal with and smoked weed as a way to numb it. My advice would be to encourage him into counselling.. the right one will be the best thing he can do. I would get him to open up, is there something bothering him.. uni? Friends? Sexlife? Etc it might be something deep rooted or a low self esteem.. he's def looking for something in life and while the weed will help him through it, it won't be what helps in the long run. Hope he sorts himself out soon and if it's any comfort I smoked a lot back then but think I've turned out all right 😋xx

Thanks for your reply Row, I hope he sees the light. Such a lot has happened since he was born. My first born, his sister, was diagnosed with cancer when he was 7 months old and died when he was 2 and a half. I was pregnant when my daughter died and the son I gave birth to has severe autism and severe learning disabilities (can't talk at all, he's in nappies still at 17). I've had long term anxiety and depression. My son who's addicted to weed has always been a joy. A light in all this crap, he says he had a happy childhood and has always been gregarious and bubbly, but I just don't recognise him any more. He's changed his personality so much. He said he'd see the gp about it, then he says he's got no interest in stopping because he loves it and admits its holding him back. I'm just fed up of worrying. I don't know what to do. your story gives me hope. Sorry for the rant. I haven't told anyone (apart from my husband, he obviously knows) what's going on.

Cakesrus weed never killed anyone, I'm not trying to sound like a bitch or patronising but it's a fact. I know it doesn't make you worry less but Most of my friends and their friends are at uni are doing balloons and taking coke which have killed a ridiculous amount of people. I smoke weed and I'm 20 I've smoked it for 4 years now. I'm afraid theres nothing anyone has said or done for me to make me stop over the years other than being pregnant but the weed slowly faded back in when my LO was born. It's just one of those things that if someone wants to do it they are just gonna do it. I'm not saying support him but don't be on his case about it. Still be firm.. don't let him smoke it at home. Don't give him money at all unless you're directly paying for the item or getting a receipt and keep an eye out overall, for me weed was a gateway drug and smoking it led to mdma luckily I didn't go any further. All I'm saying is keep an eye out and make sure you don't put pressure on him to do anything he doesn't wna do. The worst thing for me was counselling, I don't like talking to doctors as I find them patronising and the worst thing was my parents pushing me into it which in turn only pushed me away however it might work for him everyone's different. I'm sure hel come to his senses, hopefully sooner rather than later but as I said, don't put any pressure on him to talk, quit or anything to do with it. It will only cause conflict. I hope he quits but try not to worry too much xx

Thanks for your response Noah. He's in a complete funk at the moment, isn't looking for work, can't be bothered to do anything at all. He can't be bothered to wash some days. I'm grateful he's being honest about it, he feels stuck and that's he's only happy when he's doing weed. I don't give him any money at all. my engagement ring has gone out of my jewellery box and he swears he hasn't taken it, but I've got this niggle that he has. I'm notorious for losing things so I can't, with my hand on my heart, say it was him. He's stolen small amounts money from I'm my husband, but swears he won't do it again after his dad said he'd kick him out if he did it again. I'm so worried about him. As I say, I have a severely disabled son and am exhausted from worrying about them both, for different reasons.

My brother has been a weed user for years, and has always been very depressed. I'm sure the pot hasn't helped his MH at all.

Please try to find a way to give it up, it really does destroy lives - I guess that you could say I'm exaggerating but I've seen how it can have such an adverse effect on people.