We shop therefore we are.. Wise & Avid

[blossoming]

Thanks to ltec for the new title.

cake I always thought that you looked like Liya K from your pictures, so you have achieved your goal!

I have just bought a lovely turquoise suede bag, a bit like the Oushka Giles but suede and brighter. 170 euros in a really pretty local boutique

saw this grey hanky hem LTEC and wondered if it might suit?

morning all - I'm at work so dashing in. Debuting my M&S denim dress and r&b glads. I think it's o.k...but have used the bright pink canvas tote (a la Cake) to look a little brighter.

Marsha - it is our neck of the woods...and I totally agree on the 'creative' love of all things apple. Though DH was a little put out last night that all the apps were taking ages to download. Must have been everyone else playing with their new toy ipad

RG - a brave decision about your father but sounds like it's working for you.

LTEC - the tie dye tee looks good. I'm tempted (as usual). I too am hankering after some silver glads. I'm very pleased with my tan R&B ones and I know they do silver so I may order another pair. They are comfortable (which is rare for my wide feet) but fairly hefty £££'s so I'm dithering.

Vin - I would like to echo LTEC's comments.

Popping by to say congrats to Verity, Roma and Cake on your work-related successes. Please send some my way too.

hanky hem ny skyline

Methinks this swimsuit would be good for my flabby tum.

Feeling a bit blue atm, what with one thing or another. Latest is ds had a visit to the secondary school he'll be attending from sept and said he didn't like it and would rather not go . I don't know what to say as there's nowhere else he can go. I'm sure he'll be fine once he's there but he's concerned as his friends at the moment are all in the year below so they won't be moving up with him (he's the only boy in his year of 3 children!!) He will know other boys there from his footie club but he's still concerned about being on his own. It's hard to know what to say.

Already talked of my rather volatile relationship with my father and mother's detached style of parenting before. Although never had it as bad as my dsis who knew from early on that our mother wanted to have her aborted . How the fuck do you deal with that? Needless to say, she decided she would never have kids of her own which is a great shame as she is a fantastic person (albeit with some major hang-ups, but let's face it who doesn't) and is brilliant with my dcs, who love her immensely .

Choo - am desperate for some SATC goss

Go for it bunjies, at that price it's a steal! Stay strong and positive for your son, he'll be fine. As you say, there's no other choice, like here where I live.

Well I've almost finished my butterfly print beach dress (after adjusting and opening and redoing till I'm satisfied I'd wear it!), and I've decided that the one thing that would make it wearable OFF the beach would be a battered, shrunken denim jacket.

I can't actually believe I'm saying that, after all the denim jackets I've bought over the years, and thrown out. I looked at Oasis after linking miswoowoo's t'shirt, and found this, alas not in my size. May go to Chester tomorrow with the family as need a Christening outfit for dc1, and see whether they have any in store. If not I'm in Cardiff next week.

Hope all is well with everyone. I fell asleep at 7pm last night! That's what happens when you go out on a school night!

Re holidays and packing. Please can everyone link photos of their holiday wardrobe. Pretty please..!!

I am so saddened to read of some of these relationships we have with our fathers. I really love my Dad and feel quite close to him. But I know that he was tough as a father when I was growing up - had to compete with and beat us at everything (not great for my self confidence), always overrode what mum wanted (am still disappointed in her for that), can be quite insensitive (yes, I know I have big sticky out eyes, but I don't need you to tell me that when I am a teenager.) and was v controlling/stingy w money. God, have just written him a v harsh review. Aside from that (most of which doesn't bother me much any more as not relevant to our "long distance UK-Aus relationship"), he has some impressive qualities that really matter to me. My Dad has v much influenced what I wanted in a partner, and DH has many of Dad's sterling qualities, but none of the bullshit I just listed. And DH adores DD in a more emotionally intelligent way than Dad did (ie awareness of body image, negative gender stereotypes etc), which means I think DH and I will raise a far more aware, confident, balanced girl than I was/am.

Cakey - unforgivable that your dad didn't come to your wedding and decided not to at such short notice. Am sorry that he continues to needle you. I imagine there was a shift in balance when you married DH, in that you didn't need your dad to be there and made your peace with that. He may have noticed that. Your DH does sound wonderful, by the way, a lovely match for you. Your ex-Depp sounds small and mean - cheating on you and blaming you, then when he loses you (of course), he wants to let you know that he wants you back. Which isn't in your best interests either. Sorry, I know he is a friend, this is how it appears to this very judgemental outsider.

Vin - I also agree w Cakey's comments. What a journey!

Bunjies - am disgusted that your sister should know that she wasn't "wanted". Disgraceful. Your parents' job included keeping that sort of devastating information from her. God, I really am judgemental!!

Re grammar, I have but an instinctive grasp of grammar - don't know the rules, but mostly get it right (except if deliberately talking in slang). And if I err, its usually minor. Also, am too lazy relaxed to go back and correct any spelling errors in my posts. Am sure you all wonder what the hell I am trying to say know what I am trying to say.

Although Marsha - am still not sure I understand your posts from when you were sloshed yesterday evening, but I think I get the main points.

Who linked to the jumpsuits? I really liked the first 2!! To the point of almost making a little purchase...

A little nod to Tracey here, bought myself a leopard print top from Zara yesterday, which DH liked muchos and wore it last night to Supperclub. It was sensational! As was the top

lol Bunny.
It was rather cryptic. I was trying to relay that this single man who is a neighbour went into this thing about how be-ootiful I was and good genes(!) and what-not when he was tipsy.

Then I bored myself and couldn't be bothered even saying it, so sort of dribbled onto the keyboard (I mean typed not real dribbling).

My father was forced to stop working recenly for a bit and we actually chatted and I realised what a lovely, kind man he really is (as opposed to stressed and short/clipped). I am so glad I know that, as he is 70.

recently of course.

Ha ha, Marsha - so I did understand what you said, that's good. Even though he was tipsy, he prob always thinks that but he needed to lose his inhibitions to say it. I hope for your sake his inhibitions are back in place today! After cocktails, I get really passionate about some things and then completely disinterested in other things. And what those things are, can change from cocktail to cocktail.

yy they were cocktails! He's ok, has a gf now which is good.

I feel like the relationship I have w my Dad as an adult is v different from the one I had when growing up. He is a much better parent w us as adults. For his personality I imagine it was hard for him w 3 children always being noisy, needing him to do things for us, being hard to reason w, being in his face alot. He is also lovely and kind, but needs quiet time by himself. Not easy to get w 3 children. That's lovely that you have been able to spend that time w him Marsha.

yes same with my dad. There were four of us. He worked long hours to send us to boarding school. He just wanted peace and to be able to relax a bit.

The hard thing is, I think, that they finally get the peace and relaxation, but now the house is too big and quiet. Who am I kidding, Dad has a new girlfriend, is busy doing things he likes (mostly retired) and can actually read a book, chapters at a time. But house is a bit too big and quiet as well.

Yes my parents still together in big house too. They love huge, long social family meals with many bottles of wine. They are still working, and are a bit afraid of stopping as it would be very quiet (in the country).

It's nice your dad has new lease of life with new gf.

Maybe dad/daughter relationships are always a bit complex. Goodness me I hope it isn't going to be like that in our dc's generation and their dads.

My dad has always been absent/dreadful/inconsistent/unstable but he also has manic depression which was triggered by my birth. I have terrible memories of him being in archaic mental hospitals while I was a child. Its very hard to separate the person from such an all-consuming illness, especially if you have never known them before.

He also declined to come to our wedding. So sorry to hear that your dad did the same Cakey.

Having spent years yearning for him to be all the things he isn't I really do feel as though my life has simply moved on and is actually mostly pretty great (without being smug). My dh is wonderful in all the ways he isn't. My dds are lucky to have such a lovely father.

So now, typically, my dad wants to forge a relationship. There have been no apologies, no acknowledgement of how things have been, just ringing and inviting himself over as though we met just last week.

Gosh, sorry thats a long post. I'm just in a bit of a dilemma about what to do.

"huge, long social family meals with many bottles of wine" - that is what I daydream of for when we are older. DD and (hopefully) another DC coming over w their loved ones to what is (hopefully) a nice home w big dining space for long Sunday lunch. My idea of a truly happy time.

Well put re ltec's ex bunnymother. That is exactly how it comes across to the outsider. I'll bet you he says 'but I love you' when drunk aswell, with a tear in his eye.
Things I have learnt about men.. Part 325

Whelk - for what its worth, I would be v guarded in dealings w your Dad, esp if you think that he hasn't actually dealt with the issues that caused you pain in the first place. What am I, Dr Phil?!?!? But sounds like you don't actually need him, so aren't reliant on this relationship and, thus, can do it on your terms. Can you take it slowly and carefully (with some boundaries in your mind) and see how you go? Otherwise, I don't think there is anything wrong with being polite and declining to have a relationship w him. Its not a right.

Lovely to talk to you both, by the way!

Me too Bunny (on future).

Oh Whelk that is so hard. I am inclined to say inch forward on some sort of mutual understanding (and see him). But it is hard to know really. Especially as things are so good for you now.

What does your dh think?

I know Bunny, chatting in the afternoon!

ooo Bunny those long family lunches are exactly what I would love for my older years (hopefully with me looking fabulously well groomed/dressed!!)

Thanks for the advice, we're inching millimetre by millimetre at the moment.

Marsha- a compliment is a compliment, drunk or otherwise!!

Bunjies- sorry about your ds and the school situation. Is there anything the school and you can do to ease things along between now and then? Is he interested in sports? Do they do anything over the holidays?

Have to run, ladies - bye!! Changing BT Home Hubs w BT's help so no internet for a bit. Am v proud of myself doing this - am technologically challenged. Until now!!

So sorry to hear all the difficult dad posts. Am so glad I feel my DH will have such a positive relationship with our DCs. And I'm hoping he will prevent me from being as controlling with our DC as my mother was with me.Have a poor relationship with my dad but mainly because I feel he's sooh boring and restricted in his outlook. I often feel he's on the asperger spectrum.getting my hair cut. Am vascillating on getting my fringe recut or continuing growing it out. Mother hates the fringe although others love it. See what I mean? God I don't have that level if control over my 6 year old DD!!! ( not that I want to ) Will report back. Agree BTW re ^LTEc ex. Real dig in the manger. Sorry LTEC*. Hope you're not offended. I think he just wants to continue to exert some kind of control. So whenever he feels you are moving along he just tries to rein you in a little again.

Where is everythingiseverything?
Is she on holiday? Hope all is well.

Sorry that should read " dog in the manger"! Was thinking same about everythingiseverything. Hopefully on holiday.

Gosh... Not offended, exactly, but do feel I need to defend both myself and my ex!! I may have my ishoos but am not one of these women who hangs on every ostensibly complimentary thing that's ever said to me, fear not. And no, he's never drunkenly and tearfully told me he still loves me. Just that he has regrets- as I'm sure most people do! In context, his call the other day was in relation to his birthday- 38, still single, beginning to see that he's taken some wrong turns, sees me albeit mostly on fb, happily married with beautiful family. Who wouldn't feel a bit rotten? Mostly he just acknowledges that he was a dick to treat me so badly. Which he was. 'Nuff said. Nowt to do with control and even if it were, am hardly likely to succumb.

Huff.