I hate my body. Please help

[alasixesse]

Reading the are you beautiful thread, yes I truly believe I am ugly.

I somehow manage to be skinny and gawky yet flabby and celulitey at the same time.

I have pasty blotchy skin and excessive body hair (in my wedding photos someone thought my arm was a mans)

I have no breasts and skinny boy legs. I have cellulite down to my knees and a flabby arse and stomach. I hate being so skinny but when I put on weight it adds flab not bulk.

I would never wear a bikini or swimsuit, I refuse to take my children swimming because it would mean being seen in swimwear.

I won't even wear shorts/short skirts in summer because I hate my legs so much.

I won't go for a tan/wax because people would have to see me.

clothes look shit on me

I'm sick of hating the way I look so much. i am setting a bad example to my children.

I know I need to address this.I have considered going on look good naked etc but there is no fucking way I would show my face on tv.

I need help.

I can't think of one thing I like about my body

Like to do a body swap with me?

Seriously, and honestly, you have a lovely, well-proportioned figure.

You need to re-wire your thinking about yourself. Erase your mother's unhelpful comments from your mind by looking in the mirror and seeing the truth.

The thing about swimming is that you spend most of the time in the water so people can't see your body. So, perhaps a total of 1 minute to get from the changing room into the water, and 1 minute to get out and wrapped under a towel at your locker then into a cubicle. (You could then shower at home if you wanted to.)

If you concentrate on your dd's excitement at going swimming,that will help you forget your self-consciousness.

And I can promise you that if people happen to glance your way, they will be envying your figure!!!

alasixesse, other things which I know have been mentioned but I thought I'd also mention, tankini's and swimming are great, but if you really aren't that confident some pools will let you wear boardies inside which is what I do or I go swimming when I know that nobody else will be in the pool.

Also, focus on one good thing. I always focus on my eye colour, which seems silly but they're one unchanging thing about me that are actually okay!

I had my sister making the comments instead of Mum, and my peers as I was growing up. I see you and think that you have a lovely body, and even though I know mine is similar I don't think I look good at all.

My God. You look great,you really do.
Feel nostalgic for when my waist area was similar.
Such a shame you've questioned yourself.
But from reading your posts I can see why you did.
Agree with the mother/daughter jealousy comment Shodan made.
And forget the what the ex said,a worthy fella would not be such a twat.
Im so glad your pleased with the answers you are getting on here!!

You have a gorgeous figure. Seriously. Most women would kill for it. You are slender, yet shapely. Your bum is amazing! You do not look like someone who has had kids.

I would seriously, seriously consider getting some sort of counselling. Your self esteem is shot to bits and there must be something deeper behind this.

You are gorgeous. What's making you feel so ugly?

I did post last night that I woudl lvoe your body, but I was a bit drunk and it looked a bit lecherous, so I deleted it

Do you get it now? You are completely above average! Why would we all lie!

you have a good figure. it's all in your head, from your mother

you should go swimming. have you an actual nice friend you could try cossies on with? like others have said, once you're in the pool no one sees your body anyway.

I had to add to the thread once I'd seen your pictures. You have a GORGEOUS body. You have NO cellulite on your bum in those pictures and your legs and breasts look beautiful. I wish my body looked like that.

And I'm a physio who sees lots of bodies every day and I still think you're a 9 out of 10 (the extra point is for your low self esteem!)

I have a couple of friends who have very poor body image and they are the ones who actually have lovely skin/figures/faces. I agree it's all your mum's/mean ex boyfriends' faults and not yours.

I hope you manage to feel better about yourself soon. BTW I've got really hairy arms (and legs, and nipples, and upper lip) too but I just shave whenever I notice anything showing!

You have a seriously gorgeous figure..
Truly I would swap without hesitation....

Mine is awful... I haven't looked at myself naked since having DD... I hate what I have become.....

alasixesse- My body looks just like yours , by the way your body looks fine. Like you i have skinny legs and slim build but i have the flabby tummy from having children. I wouldn't say my body is ugly but i sometimes wish it was like it was before i had children (flat tummy and no flabby bits).

Stop worrying about your body and take a look around at other people, a lot of people would love your body.

I'm only repeating what others have said... but you look great! I was expecting the worst when I clicked on the pictures, and then thought - what is she on?!

You look really fantastic. If I look like that post-baby I will be thrilled!

Without knowing what type of person you are it is hard to know what to suggest clotheswise.

For a casual look I would turn your slim legs into your biggest asset and get some skinny jeans. Wear either with ballet pumps or tuck them into boots. Then I would suggest layering a wrap top over a vest, or look for tops with ruching down the front. These will emphasise your shape. Then get some chunky bangles, or a chunky necklace that hangs quite far down your body, to chest level.

For a glam look, pencil skirt and blouse with a ruffle front, or an audrey hepburn-like boat neck shift dress.

Wow!

I've just read through this again and I really cannot believe all these positive comments are about me

I still don't see myself the same way you all seem to (maybe the angle of the picture helped?)but it does help knowing that people aren't looking at me in revulsion. I went out today and felt like I was walking a bit taller than I have been recently.

I picked up a body confidence leaflet from a stand outside church too. It includes stuff like: exercise to make the most of what you have, approach the mirror with a smile, change the words you use to describe yourself (so slim instead of skinny, pale and interesting rather than pasty etc), dress to suit yourself rather than what's in fashion or what suits friends, and find something positive about yourself everyday. Will try to put it into practice...

Anyway, thanks all, your comments have helped and sorry again for being so needy

Just wanted to say that a) I totally sympathise with everything you said in OP. I have the same kinds of negative thoughts and I worry about the impact it will have on my DD. and b) you really do look great in those pics.

I don't know what the answer is. I suspect it's a combination of sorting out the psychological root of the problem (seeing a counsellor or something) and also trying to do positive things to make you feel better about yourself (buy a new frock, take up some exercise, get your nails done or some other beauty treatment that makes you feel good).

Does your DP tell you you look amazing? Do you tell him how you feel?

Just wanted to add - My god alasixesse you have a great body and bum, Wish it was mines

I have legs like yours and I consider my legs to be my best feature! I wear skinny jeans/leggings/mini skirts because I am happy with my legs and want to draw attention away from having no waist. I would love to have a waist like yours.

You need to improve your confidence rather than your appearance. In terms of appearance, I think you should buy some products like body exfoliator, nice smelling shower gels and body moisturisers like the Soap and Glory ones. Then you can walk around smelling lovely and feeling soft. I have just painted my toenails with red glitter polish and feel loads better even though nobody else will see them. I think you should focus on little stuff like that - there is nothing wrong with your appearance and you don't need to change.

If you want to go to a beautician, don't worry about them judging your appearance. They won't. My beautician says she only pays attention to the bit she is working on, and doesn't even notice if someone has a dry foot or whatever.

wow! I am seriously jealous ... you have a lovely body, you really do. What's more you sound like a lovely person.

Keep re-reading these comments - we mean what we say.

Hi everyone
I was the OP on this thread and just thought I'd come back and update you as yesterday I had a bit of a revelation.

So I've been making a bit more of myself, bought some new clothes, got rid of anything I didn't feel good in...lots of nice (cheap) underwear as well. And recently I've been looking in the mirror and have either thought I look ok, good or sometimes even hot!

Yesterday I was out window shopping and noticed for the first time ever that men look at me. I've always felt kind of insignificant, like men don't even see me but it would seem that's not true. And looking back, some of my exes were very attractive. I know it's bad to measure my attractiveness this way but knowing men find me attractive does help my self esteem

There are still things I don't like about my body, I'm still insecure about my lack of breasts, skinny legs and flappy flaps . I'm still not at the stage where I'd feel confident enough to wear a swimming costume to the local pool(but may on holiday)but I do have a lot more self esteem than I did before and am accepting that my issues are down to poor self image rather than me actually being ugly.

Oh and my ex has started to have teh children sometimes and I even had a brief fling with someone (and had some sex )

Thank you all so so much for all your lovely supportive comments at the time and for getting me started on this journey.