Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

[spidermama]

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

Spidermama - he's going to be fine. He's already dealt with the 'boys don't wear dresses' stuff. he's cracked it - what a sweetheart.
Actually - given yours and his clarity - why ever did you need to check it out?

PS I was bullied at one school, for having a different accent and different ideas/aspirations (we'd just moved house). And I was, until that point, a very confident secure child who had been popular at my previous schools (and even protected other people who were being picked on). Awful experience I wouldn't wish on anyone. But don't see what I or my mother could have been done to prevent it - short of never moving house. The only thing that would have helped would have been for the school to pick it up and actually deal with it.

Hmmm, now THERE's a q for the 'style' board - what should a well-dressed man in a skirt wear on his feet?

I'd say indian style sandals.

Going to pick up DS Princess from pre-school now. I wonder if he still has on skirt, or has changed into shorts. Will let you know. Thanks for all fascinating views.

God yes, I'd happily buy him a princess/fairy costume - and until I'd seen this thread I'd have merrily allowed him out to play in it too. Shocked by the prejudice here though.

i was going to say edam, i wouldn't think about sending ds to a school that didn't have a full on bullying policy.

any school that claims there isn't bullying in their hallowed establishment is a)full of shit and b)likely to be the kind of place that actually perpetuates bullying.

schools that are massively full on in terms of being totally transparent with both parents, staff and kids about what happens to you if you bully another child (there are ways of dealing with this that don't involve 'bullying' the bully) are the ones that actually deal with the problem.

depending on the man that could be very sexy blu

In the words of house of 909: Think of all the beauty and the joy that would occur,
If we had the loving visions of the children that we were.

I'm sorry but I don't see any prejudice expressed here (except for Blu's story about chocolate faces). People were asked if they would send their ds to preschool in a dress and an number of people said no. It wasn't prejudice to express that view. Conformist if you like. Old fashioned if you prefer. But not prejudiced.

sorry i'm just sat here slightly reeling from the fact that there are actually people on here, and mothers at that that are 'skirts for boys...no way, just not appropriate...'

I'm reeling that you are reeling!

One of the posters on here has just tipped me off to this debate!
I am another mother of a boy who wouldn't have been bothered if he had gone out in ladies' clothes to preschool at that age. Ds loved silky fabrics and bright colours at three-ish and still has a good eye for colour at six, including a fondness for pink and purple. I think the actual dressing up is a phase that goes around five, it did with ds.
Boys who think outside the box with regards to dress and colour might or might not grow up to be Paul Smith, Ozwald Boateng, David Bowie, Inacio Ribeiro, Stuart Godard, Marc Bolan, Peter Gabriel, Eddie Izzard...
I'd be hugely chuffed if a child of mine carried such originality into adulthood spidermama.
Encouraging them to think for themselves and helping them cope with society's contempt for non-conformity is a part of parenthood I'm comfortable with...been there, ignored the clone-like suburbanites...
LOL at the tea party scenario Blu and pants pants pants to those horrible little racists. FFS.

My little boy ( 2yrs 6 months) has quite long strwberry blonde hair ( bless) and he loves to wear clips in it. Somtimes if it is hot i tie it back in a bobble. DH ( normally chilled) allows this at home but will not leave the house with then in. Everyone thinks he is a girl anyway so whats the problem!?

ID be happy with the fairy costumes at home etc.. but I dont know wether Id be happy to 'play out' my 'everyones free to do as they choose' through my son IYSWIM. Shocking really.

lm we crossed posts...

i do think that saying that wearing a skirt if you are male is inappropriate is a bit prejudiced don't you?

shall we reel together

No I'm sorry I don't. I think it is conformist or old fashioned, but I don't feel prejudiced is the right word. Sorry.

I agree with soph in taht I do think that it is a form of prejudice to say taht it is inappropriate for boys to wear dresses.

ok. but if you explore the implications...why is it inappropriate?

i'm talking about posters that didn't even use fear of bullying to justify their stance.

what is it that is so....again using that word, inappropriate for a male to wear a skirt (especially given that half the men in the world do...lunghis anyone?)...do you see where i go with this and what makes me feel that it is prejudice? i'm thinking that they are saying that it makes the boys somehow feminised..somehow gay?? and that if that were true it would be awful???

mmm am jsut thinking of dp in a skirt and Indian sandals. yummy

Never get him to agree to waer them tho. Have only just managed to get him into linen trousers.

It is only prejudice if you make an assumption based on seeing boys in skirts, eg that they must therefore be gay. I don't think that is what people are saying here.

dh spent the whole of our time in tahiti in a pareo (sp?) equiv of sarong...was hottt...tssssss (sound of steam coming off sophable's finger as she touches dh's bum through his skirt)...easy access or what??

LOL linen trousers!

DS1 and 2 have spent various times in their lives pretending to be all sorts of things, they used to fight over who would be Daphne when they played Scooby Doo, DS2 insisted on getting the Barbie fairytopia DVD as an Easter pressie, DS1 got a Dolls House for his 5th birthday.....they never dressed up in girls clothes as we didn't have any, but both used to pinch my t-shirts and wear them as dresses instead! DD has a toy buggy that was originally bought for DS1, but she tends to push power rangers in it and her only use for a Barbie is to give her noisy Dinosaur something to chew on.

Kida tend to get pushed into conformity as they go through the school system anyway, I refuse to hurry the process by limiting their imagination at home.

Both the DSs used to dress up in 'girl's' stuff at Nursery, and play with the dolls etc and neither of them have ever been bullied. At that age it might be questioned, but it's usually just accepted. DS1 went to school as a boy little red riding hood for book day when he was in yr1, no one raised an eyebrow.

Spidermama - in response to your original post I think I would have done exactly as you have done today, so he has the opportunity to change his mind if he wants. Hope it all went well

I am actually quite upset about sophables smug sounding gleeful quote about thinly veiled prejudice. sorry sophable to sound personal but it really irritated me.

I shan't bother to post honest, thought out opinions on these kind of threads any more.

If you arent interested in any opinion but one that is the same as yours then you are just as 'prejudiced'.