Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

[spidermama]

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

good for you both

I don't think anyone tells boys they have to like football and to ostracise any boy who doesn't. It is just how many boys are, unfortunately. Certainly by the time they are in school, boys are like pack animals - they jostle for their position within the pack and they have an instinctive desire to fit in. (I generalise of course, but this is largely the case). Girls are lucky in that they enjoy far more freedom of expression, and make far more fluid relationships.

Then the girls said 'but princes are tall - and you're not tall' - and DS said, quite indignantly 'I'm not a REAL prince, I'm just pretending' - and ran off to play with the girls.

The chocolate face stuff went right over his head - for now - but whoever said this stiuff about bullying comes from parents is tright - 3 year-olds do not spontaneously bully each other obver dressing up.

Ok I'm going to jump in with two huge size 5 feet right into the middle of it all. This is a 3yr old child who by choice likes to dress up now and again. He does have a mind, a mind of a 3yr old, be it a playful mind he still has one and he finds it fun to dress up. Its a fun phase at the moment and it may stop at any time or he may carry it on. My ds is now 6 he loved nothing better to try on my heels when he was 3. His favourite toy was his toy dyson hoover that dp freaked out over and his favourite toy to push about outside was his little toy buggy. When I tell him they were his favourites he laughs! He now plays football and action man you name it and best of all he plays dollies with his little sister!

Hmm I suppose I'd never really thought about dress wearing.. as DS is 15 months old but now I've read the thread (again!) I think I might just let him go dressed as whatever the hell he wants wherever he wants, but I will explain the possible consequences.

What kind of parent brings a child up to know mixed race/black children as 'chocolate faces' FFS! Nevermind the whole 'chocolate faced people can't do that'....

I'm with the "let him wear what he likes" brigade. DS1 hasn't got any dresses per se, but he has got a lovely shorts and tshirt set with hello kitty on it. I do gently discourage him from wearing it if I think he's likely to get hassled (by saying, "ooh, I'm not sure that's clean, how about your X shirt instead"), but I like him wearing it.

Particularly as all the other little boys in our neighbourhood seem to live in replica football kit. Gah.

After I stopped Spiderboy raiding his sister's wardrobe, he used to tie tea towels and anything he could find around his middle because he so passionately wanted to look like a princess. I LOVE him for it. It's adorable.

blu, your ds sounds adorable. love the way he said he was pretending - like the others thought he was real and he had to spell it out to them. good for him

Blu that is awful I cant believe it!!!

I have to say that I remember having to explain about Sihk boys having long hair to dss when he was about 6 and he said Men dont have long hair which was a very odd thing to come out with as Id say a good 1/2 of the men he knows (including his dad) have long hair and when I pointed this out to him he said Well ok but little boys dont!!.
We have no idea where he got this idea from at all but I think it was probably from the school playground.

that's gorgeous, spidermama

my dd1 has a little pixie face and looks utter gorgeousness with a little short haircut. why do people always tell me little girls should have long hair? grrr

And yes, I would happily have gone and put a tent-peg through the heads of those boys' parents.
But since DP had ealier been spotted wearing his tracksuit trousers on his head, with the legs tied under his chin for warmth, I felt we would probably be drummed off the site by the racist macho camping community of SE England!

I must admit I adamantly wore boys clothes until I was about 5/6... to my mum's absolute horror I point blank refused to wear anything else, she tried to tie blue ribbons in my hair

Blu - that's exactly what my son said to a boy the other day. He was wearing a dress and the boys shouted, 'but you're a BOY' ... and he looked at shouter like a fool and said, 'I know. I'm a boy pretending to be a princess.'

puddle... i think you're so right. an independant child who knows their mind and is secure in themselves will ALWAYS make friends...

i was terribly bullied at school. i always wore the "right" thing... but it didn't help. i listened to the right music, and liked the same stuff as the others.. but i still got bullied.

the popular people were the ones who were confident enough to do and say what they wanted to.

lol @ DP's improvised balaclava jobbie !

btw spidermama... do you ever come on the brighton meet-ups?

Hmmmmmmmmm Would you like to tell that to ds2 Starlover?

Starlover - I totally agree. I think she has a real individual sense of style. She is very striking like her mum and I imagine her in 15 years looking gorgeously minimal in Prada or helmut lang....

I totally agree starlover. Who was it said, 'ONLY DEAD FISH SWIM WITH THE TIDE.?

no starlover. I'm new to mn but would be very open to Brighton meet ups.

starlover, thats not what happened at my school. the popular people were all clones of each other

That's a top quote, spidermama!

But where are they now nail polish?

spidermama... good saying! i will remember that

lonelymum... which bit?