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Original poster

Boys in dresses. Yes or no?

557 replies

spidermama · 30/06/2005 11:34

My DS (3.5) loves dresses and butterfly tops and glittery sparkley fairy type stuff. I have no objection. I even bought him a couple of dresses of his own to stop him raiding long-sufferine DD's wardrobe. My only slight worry is teasing from other kids. He wants to wear a dress to pre-school today. What do you think?

OP posts:
VladimirIlyichUlyanov · 30/06/2005 21:44

bollovcls middle class " ooh great old algies is in a dress"
oh COEM ON

Heathcliffscathy · 30/06/2005 21:45

are you drunk? don't make me fight you [fierce emoticon]

SoupDragon · 30/06/2005 21:45

Let it drop, Cod.

starlover · 30/06/2005 21:45

no she always types like that

VladimirIlyichUlyanov · 30/06/2005 21:46

absolute bollocks
youa re deliberatleyl setting him apart form his mates which imo is UNFAIR

woudl you s end him in pigaitls wiht a ribbon

god dont answer I bet you woudl

Enid · 30/06/2005 21:46
WigWamBam · 30/06/2005 21:46

Go fishy

VladimirIlyichUlyanov · 30/06/2005 21:47

wiggy!

WigWamBam · 30/06/2005 21:48

What? I'm agreeing with you!

VladimirIlyichUlyanov · 30/06/2005 21:50

I know

thunk

WigWamBam · 30/06/2005 21:52

Hehe, it had to happen sometime!

SoupDragon · 30/06/2005 21:53

Do you think I should send DS1 int school in a fairy outfit tomorrow for Mufti day? Do you think his friends will take the p*ss? He's 6.

jayzmummy · 30/06/2005 21:54

So long as his wings are glittery he should be fine

SoupDragon · 30/06/2005 21:55

He'll be popular with the girls, I'm sure, althought he rough lad in Y2 might beat him up.

WigWamBam · 30/06/2005 21:59

That's if he doesn't beat you up first for suggesting it in the first place.

nooka · 30/06/2005 22:25

I wouldn't have been too bothered about ds wearing a dress when he was at nursery, but I would be very worried if he wanted to do it at school. Children are amazingly gender conscious (I seem to remember one of those child of our time programmes saying that children were much more conservative that adults, as part of learning how to understand the world, and that it kicks in at around 4/5). My ds got bullied for wearing a scarf as a bandana at red nose day, just because it was different, and I felt terrible.

I was bullied at junior school for being different, and I don't think it benefited me at all - took until university before I felt OK about myself again. That said some children are oblivious to nasty comments, and some children are lucky enough to have good friends that mean they don't feel upset about the occasional nasty comment.

I think there is also a random element to being bullied - after all you have to have a bully too. As for only insecure children get bullied - bullying makes you insecure! I was happy and very popular at infants school, secure at home in a loving family but that didn't help me! I do believe the fact that my mother disliked school uniform and so sent us all to school in kilts didn't help. However my sister coasted through the same school in the same kilt without any problems. She had a good best friend, and was great at sport, and I'm sure that's why she was OK.

Original poster
spidermama · 30/06/2005 23:36

It seems to me that a very high percentage of posters remember enduring some form or other of bullying. There must be some (reformed) bullies out there too just by the law of averages.

OP posts:
Flum · 01/07/2005 01:17

Yeah you never hear from people who were bullies at school!!

Anyway just to re-cap what kind of a dress was it because I think its important. I seem to remember some mention of black and silky.

Wholey innapropriate for pre-school in my opinion, fine for a party or cocktail doo. I think perhaps a tea dress or even a good day dress would have been far more suitable.

Skribble · 01/07/2005 01:20

Scottish guys get the best of both worlds, nothing more handsome than man in a kilt, My DS has had kilts from the age of 2. Don't know if it would be any more acceptible than a dress in Brighton though .

bobbybob · 01/07/2005 06:14

My dad wouldn't speak to ds whilst he had my hair bobbles in. That made me as lots of men have long tied back hair, it's just that ds's only way of doing his is to have bunches.

Fio2 · 01/07/2005 07:23

oh cod, i have wet myself, should have inserted a tena lady before reading your posts

tigermoth · 01/07/2005 07:52

Boxes of nursery school dressing up clothes always contain dresses, so even if your boy goes to school in boys clothes, they can change at any time. My youngest used to favour a pink princess dress from the dressing up box. But only for a few weeks - then all things army took hold of his fancy. Was this cause and effect....

Muave shoes sound rather groovy to me, blu

I think enid was being honest and pragmatic. I would let my 3 year old son take a dress to nursery, but in a bag ( as a fancy dress item, like a toy for show and tell) so he could change if he wanted. I would not want him to wear a dress with nothing of his own to change into. Why? to give him both options so he could avoid teasing if, on the slim offchance, it happened (though would not expect this to happen amongst 3 year olds).

ETsmum · 01/07/2005 08:26

Spidermama - had to post as my ds nearly 2, loves pink glittery and frilly at the mo And I let him, although I appreciate he is much younger than your ds.

Sorry if this has been asked (didn't have time to read the whole thread) but if 3.5 isn't old enough to make decisions like this, then when is? Not saying he is/isn't old enough to choose, but haven't parented a child of this age yet and curious.

Also I can see that dresses at pre-school might be ok, but what about when a child starts in reception? If they still have strong opinions about it, do you fight for his rights (assuming school has a uniform with boys in trousers.) Or do you then say he has to conform?

nooka · 01/07/2005 09:01

I should confess that, in general, I don't like most dresses anyway! dd on the other hand... Talk about pink and flowery! I don't know where these things come from as we have never encouraged her to be so "girly". ds really doesn't care what he wears, it's just not a big deal for him. He did once wear one of her dresses and looked very pretty.

I do think that in general there are much better dressing up options for girls, but my mother made a prince outfit for ds, with cape and crown which he enjoys. I do think that there is a difference between dressing up and everyday, and they have to wear sensible things outside, to nursery etc (school have a uniform)

SoupDragon · 01/07/2005 09:38

I was thinking about this last night and I've come to the conclusion that no way would I let DSs wear a dress to school/preschool. Why? Well, because I want to protect them from any teasing and taunting. I don't want to set them up for ridicule, I would be utterly devastated if one of them arrived home in tears because a "friend" had teased them about their attire.

It doesn't matter whether I'm happy for them to wear a dress or whether society should be more forgiving, the point is that it's not. If they chose one at home (bearing in mind we don't have any!!) or at a close friend's house, fair enough but I wouldn't put them in any position where they could be emotionally hurt. It would upset me greatly to think I could have prevented it.

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