What to wear to sleb-studded private art view in a swanky mayfair club(I will be 3x their size, have nothing to wear, and may well cry in the toilets, but have to go for DP's sake?)

[BitOfFun]

Sorry, am new to posting in Style (as I last bought clothes eons ago), but I really need your help!

DP is having a major show (he is an artist) in a very posh club in London in a month, and told me excitedly that all sorts of people have said they are coming, including Girls Aloud. I do of course feel very proud of him and want to be there to support him, but the thought of Cheryl "I was so fat at 9.5 stone I wanted to kill myself" Cole swanning around is too much for my fragile ego to bear...

I am 5'2", a size 12, probably will have skin too bad (psoriasis bad at mo) to show much arm or leg, and also clueless when it comes to knowing what sort of outfit would be appropriate.

I hate shopping, so online if possible would be great. Please help me, I am majorly stressing out about going to a big do when I am a bit shy anyway, and o don't want to be sneered at by famous twiglets or (heaven forbid) hear "Oi, outta the picture fatarse!" from some paps

Please help me feel more confident and pick an outfit!

OK.... I don't really know what people wear to art shows but firstly:-

A size 12 is NOT fat

You are the partner of the star of the show and as such, no one will be looking down their noses at you

It all sounds very swanky and lovely

Right - the outfit... What sort of things do you like ? (colours/styles etc.). Is there a budget ?

I know I always say this on these threads but I would honestly get yourself to a personal shopper if you can. Are you in London? I went to Liberty and Fenwicks when looking for something to wear for my wedding and they were both fab, totally unintimidating. I had to take my 6 month old son with me on both occasions and they were lovely to both of us. Depends on how much you want to spend of course (obv worked out much much cheaper than a wedding dress, but was still a couple of hundred quid for most of the stuff I liked)

I'm with Tattycoram - I accidentally did this in Debenhams once and it was BRILLIANT. And I am much fatter than you and thought I would hate that kind of thing, but it is really not intimidating at all.

• by much fatter than you I mean that you are NOT FAT, and I am, quite. Just to be clear!!

The people who look good at these things are the original ones.

I would do very blank-canvas basic outfit and then lovely accessories - gorgeous scarf, wonderful shoes or boots, fantastic bracelet. With an artist for a dp I bet you have a great eye.

PS only recent version of this was going to see the Bluestockings show at the Nat'l Portrait Gallery at the same time as some modelly or something person was having a show of their photos - the modelly persons show was full of people all strenuously & tensely out-eye-candying each other (and ignoring the pictures) - not lovely atmosphere; the Bluestockings show was full of animated women gesturing with their wineglasses.

i went to v v v swanky party of slebs last summer, and knew they would all be 2 foot taller, 5 stone lighter and dressed in designer fabulousness

so i went for the understated chic option with killer accesories and shoes.

wrap dress is my fall back option

of dress in a totally outlandish 'artist's muse' way and sod 'em!

Trouser suit (with a cami underneath), sexy heels, clunky jewels.

I don't usually post in Style either but just saw your post and it rang bells with me. I had to go to a posh do with my DP not that long ago and had similar fears.

First thing - DON'T PANIC. Nobody is going to sneer at you and not everybody will be a stupidly small clothes size. Most will be normal ie 14-16 and therefore bigger than you, so there.

Second thing - any slebs / twiglets will be so far up their own fundaments as to be far too busy to notice what you're wearing anyway, so don't worry about them. Oh, and sometimes they wear high-street fashion too - I know, cos I've seen it in the papers, so you don't have to go all designer if you don't want to.

Third thing - all you need is something comfortable that you feel confident wearing. Black dress plus fab accessories maybe?

Then just relax and enjoy it.

Actually - isn't there a portriat of you wearing just a sheet (or was that someone else)? Wear the sheet!!!

I second the wrap dress/blank canvas with fab accessories/shoes idea

(was it your DP who did Cheryl Cole as the Angel of the North?)

my brother would be crying if he read this thread. he is GA biggest fan (despite being 18 and very straight)
he is even booked in to get the bands name tatoo'd on his arm!

i agree with everyone else, black with maybe coloured tights and contrasting shoes. and some fab accesories.

Lol Odette, I just might

I knew I shouldn't have posted this while I have PMT- you are all so lovely I could hug you if this wasn't mumsnet!

Right, will keep thinking. Plain dress and accessories plus huge hair might be the way to go. The personal shopper idea is good, but I think I would feel a bit pressured, and I'm not in London? I like the idea of wacky boho style too. Hmm. Not sure yet.

Thanks though, I knew I could ask here!

That's him Madre!

ooooh, is he a sleb too!?

Where are you bof? Any big cities a bit nearer to you? Lots of big dpt stores have personal shopper, not just London.

I have done personal shopping at Selfrifdges and it was brilliant though - totallt recommend.

Tell us more about your body shape/ best bits/ worst bits. and budget

This is his site Lulumama, and his stuff is here too. He is getting more well known, but by no stretch a sleb

Personally for a gallery opening i'd go for long drapey trousers with beautiful shoes and something sort of cashmerey on top (i like to pretend to be rich and elegant even though i'm not ) and i think that not being too dressed up kind of makes you look like you do these kind of things all the time.

Ok, so it's more modern than the gallery openings i get invited to.. maybe not my 'establishment' outfit then.

Wear black shortish dress with sleeves and black opaque tights. Wear heels only if you are comfortable in them - or the pain shows in your face, maybe wedge or platform heels, otherwise flats or boots are fine. Have your hair blow-dried or sorted at a salon - it will boost your confidence enormously. Have your nails done - short is v fashionable at moment and dark, maybe navy colour. Wear big chunk of silver jewellery at neck - or something very eyecatching and large, of pendant type, maybe a large cocktail ring too - doesn't have to be expensive necessarily. If you wear big hunk of silver at neck, don't wear earrings or vice versa. Wear makeup but don't have to go overboard. Carry a clutch, not a handbag, it can tuck under your arm if necessary. If a camera points in your direction, turn side-on a bit, look into the lens and SMILE, keep chin down. Try and be the one in the photo that is furthest away from the camera. If you are shy, carry 2 glasses of wine - you look as though you are on the way to someone and you can always drink them! Smile at everyone and act as though you are gaving a great time, it may rub off and you will start to enjoy yourself.

You sound gorgeous from your description, I don't think you have anything to worry about, have a great time, I am very envious.

Right Polly...erm best bits are boobs bum and hair. Worst are upper arms, bit of a tummy, short legs.
Am in Liverpool.
Budget: little as possible, but say £100 if I could wear it again. I suit blues, reds and shades in between, but not so much yellows or greens (they make me look ill)

every time i see his work i am stunned. i adore his Classic figures pieces.

i would love to have something like that done of me. they are truely beautifull and very well done.

so whihc one is you?

he is very talented , amazing work !

Ooh, that sounds great advice Bob- I shall study it! Thanks x

Bob that is great advice. Am tempted to print outand keep for when I next need to go somewhere smart (ie sometime in the middle of 2010)

How fab! Gizza plus one

I would say a dark green or dark red very short long sleeved dress, very high round toed fairly chunky mary janes and a statement necklace (big pendant, or chain with a couple of interesting pendants on it. Definitely big hair.