Wedding guest rules to ignore

[bridgetreilly]

At a wedding on Saturday with people from across the UK and across a pretty wide social spectrum in various ways. MN, I paid attention to the clothes!

Male guests wore:
Kilts, suits, blazers and chinos, tartan trousers, kurtas in a wide range of colours.

Female guests wore:
tea dresses in pastel florals, including cream and ivory, red, green, blue, black, long slinky dresses (mainly girls in late teen early twenties), all white (little girl who literally no one mistook for a bridesmaid because they were in dark navy). Both the groom’s grannies had black hats on. There were hats, fascinators, bows, and unadorned hair.

Literally no one was upset or offended by any of it, because everyone was wearing something special for a special day. The photos were a glorious cacophony of colour and no one was muttering about rules being broken, or upstaging the bride or any of the nonsense that regularly gets trotted out on here.

Groom’s mother wearing a dress that was subject of a lengthy MN thread on suitability a couple of months ago. She looked gorgeous. No one thought it was weird. It was in no way bridal or attention-grabbing.

WEAR WHAT YOU LIKE. It’ll be fine.

@JortsNTeeShirt Exactly. Venue and vibe matter. It’s easy enough to follow a simple request on clothing.

I feel like I've read a completely different OP to you. I don't sense any annoyance or anger. I thought it was an interesting point, clearly explained.

Well Said op! And your dress is gorgeous btw. Never do get the weird nonsense spouted on here about wedding ‘rules’.

I suspect that @mybeautifulemeraldparure has not read any of the multitude of wedding threads where there have been many unreasonable dress codes demanded requested by the bridezilla

I understand exactly where the OP is coming from. It sounds like it was a lovely wedding - very similar to the kind of weddings I have been to.

I thought they were talking about generic style and beauty forum "rules" set out here, for weddings.
If someone posts an outfit, and then other posters tell them its not suitable for one reason or another and then suggest something completely different and 6 times the price

Indeed.
I am at the age where there are very few weddings and formal events that I get invited to, so I would always buy something that I would wear again.

@RampantIvy I think most dress codes are trying to be helpful and they are a steer. Like when people say bright colours at a funeral. Dress codes are pretty easy in my view but people are more concerned about what they want. They are less bothered about the bride. If someone cannot join in with a dress code, it’s not obligatory to go at all. Most people can find a reasonably priced dress though if they want to. On MN plenty don’t want to.

There are seriously rich folk who attend very high end weddings in kilts in Scotland you know ...

Whit are ye bletherin aboot, woman. Are you implying that oor kilts urnae fancy enough for formality?

Things have gone to pot these days.

When I hit married, 26 years ago, I gave a lot of thoughts to my guests happiness and inclusion. My step mum wore an off white suit and sat next to my dad on the top table. I didn’t care so long as he was comfortable and had a nice time. I didn’t even like her!

You can’t upstage the bride. They are the one who looks like a Princess and if they don’t, well, poor choice on the dress then.

People take themselves wayyyy too seriously these days.

I agree with a general steer. When my niece got married the dress code was smart casual, and I bought a dress that looked suitably weddingy (in my book anyqay) but that I could wear again. It was a floral midi dress in green and cream. I had a lot of compliments.

My family doesn't do formal, neither does DH's.

Kilts are 10000% Black Tie Formal Wear

100% agree OP. I've never been to a wedding where anyone was sneery about anyone else's clothes. Only on MN do people seem to think everyone is silently judging how white is too white or how smart is too smart/not smart enough. (What I do get judgy about however is if I am left to starve for hours while the bride and groom have brought their own packed lunch (looking at you fil (who I love very much, but have never fully forgiven for this!)))

@AndresyFiorella A guest brought a packed lunch! Yes I agree about timing and food. Having editorial photos prior to the ceremony works well and you eat more quickly!

My own personal wedding rule is always, always have a sandwich beforehand because you never know when you will be fed. But that’s incredibly cheeky of the bride and groom!

That is why we had an afternoon wedding. Guests had time to have lunch first.

I went to a wedding where, not only did a guest bring sandwiches, they ate them in the church!
I shit you not.

Are they??

I’m Scottish so they are just every wedding wear.

Who knew!

I think if u are asked not to wear a particular colour you should take note

Do you know, I can’t remember anything at all about what my guests wore to my wedding.
Apart from my DF who wore his sunglasses throughout the service. He looked like a Mafioso.

@thistimelastweek They would never get another invitation from me.

One of my friends wore black to my wedding, because that was the only colour she ever wore. I was chuffed to bits that she was there.

I went to a wedding that started early (iirc the ceremony was at 12pm) but there was no food for hours and they took ages doing photos. I was ready to eat my own arm but the mother of the bride had a tupperware box of sausage rolls to keep her going! 😄 I think we eventually had some food at 5pm

Many years ago I went to a wedding where due to the bride changing religion unbeknownst to her parents the ceremonies (plural) and speeches went on for about 3 hours. Sandwiches would have been a good idea - the food was well worth waiting for though.

They’re not automatically a black tie outfit.

But they can definitely be worn and still fit a black tie dress code.

That's a bit of an over reaction. I would think it unusual behavioue, but I wouldn't think it was a reason to not see someone again.

Maybe they were diabetic and needed to eat at regular intervals?

I don't understand why people decide to have weddings at inconvenient times to mess up people's regular meal times then make them wait hours for food. It makes for an overly long day as well.

it is the reason we had a 3pm wedding, so that people could have lunch then not be hungry during the wedding.