I am just so fed up.
I have lost over 100lbs and maintained for 2 years now.
I always thought my belly would bother me but I don't really care much aboutnit but my boobs distress me so much.
At my biggest I had huge boobs. I've breastfed 3 times too.
I am now 8stone 10lbs and my boobs are very sagged.
I went to M&S months ago and they fitted me at a 34DD and I bought some full cup bras. I tried on some 'nice' bras but non of them fit at all.
My breasts are long and flat so I can't get any lift or illusion of cleavage even though there is a decent amount of tissue.
So M&S put me at 34 DD.
Those bras just have a massive gap in them but I think me and the fitter were just fed up by that point so I bought them and they look OK under tshirts.
So last night I did the home measurements things and came out at a 32C/D
My 18yo daughter is a 32D so I asked if I could try one of her bras on (a primark cheapie) and I was just hanging over the cup , like 50% out.
So went to John Lewis today. Told her I had on the M&S 34DD and she measured me at 31inches under the bust.
Agreed there was a lot of gape in the cup and suggested I try 32D.
Got about 4 styles and non of them fit.
Band was too tight and hanging out of all cups. No lift.
So she says to try either a 32DD or a 34D.
The 32DD just left me looking saggy AF with like a weird double boob. And the 34 D fit a bit better in one style and the other 4 I tried on didn't fit.
I spill out under the band, under my armpits.
My breasts are wide, long and flat. They dont stay in the middle like they're supposed to.
Once again woman looked baffled and didn't really help.
I can't have sex anymore with my bra off so I just wanted some sexy bras to give me some lift and support and help me feel good and I come away with a single nude coloured full cup bra that wouldn't look out of place in Bon Marche.
I cried in the changing room. I cried when I got home.
I am so upset and angry that I should feel great about myself after losing so much weight and all I feel is embarrassment and I am MORE self conscious now about my body than when I was 100lbs bigger.
I'm only 40years old and I cannot enjoy sex at all because all I can think about is how my breasts are either lying flat as a pancake or hanging down like tennis balls in socks. My husband tries to touch them and I recoil. Its so embarrassing having him trying to scoop down to the bottom of my bra to try and find my nipple :(
Please don't suggest surgery. I would have it tomorrow if I could afford it but I cannot. It's not an option at all financially, if it was I would have had it done already.