Struggling to find bras that fit after major weight loss and feel so defeated.

[Aiborlie]

I am just so fed up.
I have lost over 100lbs and maintained for 2 years now.
I always thought my belly would bother me but I don't really care much aboutnit but my boobs distress me so much.

At my biggest I had huge boobs. I've breastfed 3 times too.

I am now 8stone 10lbs and my boobs are very sagged.

I went to M&S months ago and they fitted me at a 34DD and I bought some full cup bras. I tried on some 'nice' bras but non of them fit at all.

My breasts are long and flat so I can't get any lift or illusion of cleavage even though there is a decent amount of tissue.

So M&S put me at 34 DD.

Those bras just have a massive gap in them but I think me and the fitter were just fed up by that point so I bought them and they look OK under tshirts.

So last night I did the home measurements things and came out at a 32C/D

My 18yo daughter is a 32D so I asked if I could try one of her bras on (a primark cheapie) and I was just hanging over the cup , like 50% out.

So went to John Lewis today. Told her I had on the M&S 34DD and she measured me at 31inches under the bust.
Agreed there was a lot of gape in the cup and suggested I try 32D.

Got about 4 styles and non of them fit.
Band was too tight and hanging out of all cups. No lift.

So she says to try either a 32DD or a 34D.
The 32DD just left me looking saggy AF with like a weird double boob. And the 34 D fit a bit better in one style and the other 4 I tried on didn't fit.

I spill out under the band, under my armpits.
My breasts are wide, long and flat. They dont stay in the middle like they're supposed to.

Once again woman looked baffled and didn't really help.

I can't have sex anymore with my bra off so I just wanted some sexy bras to give me some lift and support and help me feel good and I come away with a single nude coloured full cup bra that wouldn't look out of place in Bon Marche.

I cried in the changing room. I cried when I got home.

I am so upset and angry that I should feel great about myself after losing so much weight and all I feel is embarrassment and I am MORE self conscious now about my body than when I was 100lbs bigger.

I'm only 40years old and I cannot enjoy sex at all because all I can think about is how my breasts are either lying flat as a pancake or hanging down like tennis balls in socks. My husband tries to touch them and I recoil. Its so embarrassing having him trying to scoop down to the bottom of my bra to try and find my nipple :(

Please don't suggest surgery. I would have it tomorrow if I could afford it but I cannot. It's not an option at all financially, if it was I would have had it done already.

Another vote for Bravissimo, they were so helpful, I have been a few times.

After breast feeding, I found that a full cup non-sculpted bra worked best. There wasn't enough volume to fill moulded bras neatly. And I needed the full cup to give shape. The were slightly grannyish compared to a balconette, but they were lacy and not bad

If you are anywhere near South Derbyshire / Staffordshire border , I can recommend a fantastic independent fitter / supplier
Changed my life after weight loss and yes mine sound similar ( spaniels ears that look awful naked )
Now well supported comfortable and perked up beyond expectations
Happy to share for anyone who’d like to know more

OP congrats on your weight loss, thats really amazing.
Totally felt every bit of your message and hope the supportive replies have helped you feel a bit less alone in this!
Lots of great suggestions for Bravissimo and it sounds like you would benefit from a fitting for sure - you might have a 'correct' size, but sometimes a sister size where you have the same cup volume but a bigger band can be really beneficial if you prefer a looser fit, which is very normal! Also have a little look at this chart here, id recommend reading the whole thing and not just the vit for 'your' shape as it can help in future!
https://www.brastop.com/pages/what-breast-shape-am-i
Shape matters as much as size, my boobs look terrible in certain styles no matter how correct the size is! You arent the first person to fall foul of bad sizing practice and wont be the last.

Unfortunately not :(

I’m with you there - have lost 112lbs and now sitting around 9 stone. The only ones that work for me are these:

PoseFree Jelly Bras for Women Non Wired Support Everyday Bras Seamless Soft Comfort Full Coverage Wireless Padded Bra https://amzn.eu/d/05iDkex9

They come up high under the armpit and give what is left some shape! I tried being measured and went through the stock of M&S but nothing has worked like these.

I second the advice to go to an independent retailer. If you are in / near Glasgow I can recommend one.
You need to try on lots of different styles / shapes and not focus too much on the size.

I lost over three stone a couple of years ago and with it pretty much all of my boobs. I have tiny flat little things with nipples on now. I was very very upset at first but I have come to actually really love them. They were amazing. They nourished and kept my babies alive when I was bigger and now they are what they are. When I first lost the weight though I remember standing in the bra fitting room in John Lewis in tears I was so upset about them.

I now wear Stripe and Stare bras and pants. I love colour so have lots of matching sets of underwear and take pleasure in having underwear on which matches my outfits even though no one ever sees it. I don't wear underwired or padded bras at all. I am single and if anyone ever wants to get close they will just have to deal with the loose skin and saggy boobs.

So maybe something like Stripe and Stare and focus on colour/patterns? I feel sexy but in a completely different way.

Not all bra shapes suit all breasts - what shapes have you actually tried?

Also, the gaping might be because the cups are too small, rather than too large. It certainly sounds like there is spillage in other places.

Look at the Reddit /abrathatfits as there is lots of really good information about shapes/styles/sizing.

I have similar issues after losing 70lb (twice!!). I’ve been beholden to the Rebecca bra from Bravissimo. Turns my sagging scrotal tits into perky magic. I recommend using Reddit’s abrathatfits calculator for sizing.

Thats the calculator that put me at a 32C/D and I tried on about 8 and all were way too small

I've got several like this. I have a bony chest and then my breast tissue starts half way down my breast. So these types give me a really weird shape like my breast isnin the bottom half then the line cuts that off and inhave a weird bump above that.

I like victorias, I have found I need the style with the larger underband which for some reason helps keep my boobs in (not much volume so they are quite wobbly, I found the ones without the band underneath not as great at keeping the shape of my boobs nice plus my boobs would fall out a bit if I bent over) I prefer non wired as they are more comfortable for my side fat/boob spread. I’m a 34c.

https://www.victoriassecret.co.uk/style/su903168/v25840

always find measuring there to be bang on as well.

You likely need a completely different shape with much more coverage. Your boobs will be softer now (which has happened to me with stopping bf and hitting menopause).

Have you tried thicker more foamy/moulded ones? Full or half cup? Plunges look a bit odd now, I think.

This will sound ridiculous, but I’ve had similar issues and have found that jelly bras on TikTok shop are incredible. I’ve never had a bra fit so well in my life.

Here. You don’t need to be close by, she will help
i was in tears when nothing was fitting as I’m an L cup and bravissimo was so bloody uncomfortable. She fitted me into some Polish bras that are amazing. Once she knows you, she will then know exactly what size you need in which bra

https://www.bellarosalingerie.co.uk/

I’m small chested however I had the same issues with moulded full cups gaping. I’ve started wearing the M &S Rosie Demi cup bras and they’re the first nice ones I’ve found that actually sit flush against my skin!

It’s really about trying them on in store because whichever brand or store you are in have variation between ranges, brands etc. I’d pretty much given up on M&S then I got a really good one (their more expensive range) but I had to buy 34f rather than 36dd which I have bought in the past

That really is why a good fitter (Bravissimo, a local bra shop with a fabled lady who’s been there for decades, etc) is the way to go. The best fitters don’t even always have to measure you, they just eyeball you and then bring you bras.

I'm in Manchester
I see she does online consultations but I don't see how that would work with needing to try on about 12 bras yesterday to find 1 that remotely worked

I'd recommend the boob or bust (bob) calculator and fb page

@Aiborlie Oooooh, there’s a great place in Bolton. An independent lady who has a little shop.
She can eye up tits at 50 paces and get the perfect style and support like magic. Honestly, I’m sure she uses witchcraft.

I really feel for you on this! I’ve had similar struggles recently, £100+ orders on M&S and John Lewis.. all returned as none quite fitted right!! The Reddit calculator puts me at a 30GG/H… every 30 band I’ve tried is SO uncomfortable. Even 32 is not comfortable. I’ve finally found that 34G is comfortable and doesn’t give me pointy Madonna boobs!! This style worked for me: M&S Amelia Natural Lift Full Cup Bra. None of the other Amelia bras (including the minimiser style) worked at all, I was spilling out everywhere. Another one that worked for me is Fantasie Reflect. It is an absolute minefield, not only does boob shape matter but also the root size, height etc. keep trying and you will find something that is near perfect - dont give up! Do online orders and just keep trying different styles, there are so many out there. The ones I’ve mentioned aren’t perfect on me (I do get weird “strap gap” where my boobs kind of fold up and create a sharp angle inside the cup) but you’ll find something good enough that makes you feel nice!

It’s so difficult trying to find what works when you’ve changed so much. I’ve lost nearly 12 stone in the last 6 years and nearly cried trying to find bras last year.

I did the BoB calculator to get an idea of what shape of bra I needed to try (totally different to what used to work!) and then went to Bravissimo. I tried on 5 different ones and found a good one.

As a PP suggested, buying one and wearing it then going back is a great idea. I found that day-to-day I needed a slight tweak from the one I bought (it fitted but the wire annoyed me, where as previously I’d never have dreamed of non-wired!).

M&S are dreadful. They still use the +4 and the will very often fit you to something they have rather than say “we don’t do your size”.

If your near Hampshire, there is a fantastic lingerie shop in Botley who are great