Struggling to find bras that fit after major weight loss and feel so defeated.

[Aiborlie]

I am just so fed up.
I have lost over 100lbs and maintained for 2 years now.
I always thought my belly would bother me but I don't really care much aboutnit but my boobs distress me so much.

At my biggest I had huge boobs. I've breastfed 3 times too.

I am now 8stone 10lbs and my boobs are very sagged.

I went to M&S months ago and they fitted me at a 34DD and I bought some full cup bras. I tried on some 'nice' bras but non of them fit at all.

My breasts are long and flat so I can't get any lift or illusion of cleavage even though there is a decent amount of tissue.

So M&S put me at 34 DD.

Those bras just have a massive gap in them but I think me and the fitter were just fed up by that point so I bought them and they look OK under tshirts.

So last night I did the home measurements things and came out at a 32C/D

My 18yo daughter is a 32D so I asked if I could try one of her bras on (a primark cheapie) and I was just hanging over the cup , like 50% out.

So went to John Lewis today. Told her I had on the M&S 34DD and she measured me at 31inches under the bust.
Agreed there was a lot of gape in the cup and suggested I try 32D.

Got about 4 styles and non of them fit.
Band was too tight and hanging out of all cups. No lift.

So she says to try either a 32DD or a 34D.
The 32DD just left me looking saggy AF with like a weird double boob. And the 34 D fit a bit better in one style and the other 4 I tried on didn't fit.

I spill out under the band, under my armpits.
My breasts are wide, long and flat. They dont stay in the middle like they're supposed to.

Once again woman looked baffled and didn't really help.

I can't have sex anymore with my bra off so I just wanted some sexy bras to give me some lift and support and help me feel good and I come away with a single nude coloured full cup bra that wouldn't look out of place in Bon Marche.

I cried in the changing room. I cried when I got home.

I am so upset and angry that I should feel great about myself after losing so much weight and all I feel is embarrassment and I am MORE self conscious now about my body than when I was 100lbs bigger.

I'm only 40years old and I cannot enjoy sex at all because all I can think about is how my breasts are either lying flat as a pancake or hanging down like tennis balls in socks. My husband tries to touch them and I recoil. Its so embarrassing having him trying to scoop down to the bottom of my bra to try and find my nipple :(

Please don't suggest surgery. I would have it tomorrow if I could afford it but I cannot. It's not an option at all financially, if it was I would have had it done already.

Do you have the name please?

Btw, I want to say don't think of Righy & Peller as the bees' knees: I have spent £00s over the last couple of years and still don't have a bra that is comfortable. Think local bra shops are the way to go!! Definitely not M&S and not really even John Lewis.

Is it Pam at The Bolton Bra Shop?
I might go, the reviews are fantastic

I have much the same problem following a large weight loss and found this one to be great.
You may have to try different sizes on to get to your best fit as its difficult to measure breasts like these accurately.
Magiclift seamless sports bra by Glamorise.
Glamorise are great. I tried on a few different sizes and sent the ones that didnt fit back for a refund as no shops round here and finally settled on 34D.

Either go to Bravissimo or have a look on Boob or Bust facebook page.

I would suggest your band size is quite wrong which will make it very hard to then get the cup right.

I’ve lost 6st but still 14ish stone / size 14. I went to bravissimo last week, and I’m a 34 band (for the first time since my school days!) so unlikely at 8st you are a 34 or 32.

The cup size then varies by band size (so a D cup in a 34 band will be bigger than a D cup in a 32 band).

I bet my life if you go to bravissimo you will end up in something like a 30G or something.

Sounds like you’re using the wrong shaped bra. Perhaps try a balcony which will hold them up from
below more.

You sound similar to me and I wear these too - https://www.marksandspencer.com/boston-microfibre-lace-trim-wired-plungebra/p/clp60744947?color=AirForceBlue&intid=mobileapppdpshare

After my weight loss I started buying my bras at Bravissimo. I’m very happy. I’ve bought online and in person.
i think that as harder to fit women buy from there they have more experience fitting and carry a wider range for better fit options.
im actually sizing down again next week.

Adding that before my weight loss I couldn’t buy in M&S as they didn’t stock my size anyway!

They are so gorgeous 😍

I just wanted to say congratulations on your weightloss.
My mum lost a huge amount of weight and I know she was affected by the way that she looked.
But she also went on to do so much more when she lost the weight went out for dinner, on holiday to the cinema. Your husband loves you for you. Do the nhs do breast lifts still? I'm think if it's affecting your mental health they do.
But from all the suggestions I really hope you find something you like that makes you feel amazing you deserve it.

I’ve lost a lot of weight and have found finding bras very difficult. I can’t imagine at your weight that you need a 34 back. I’m heavier than you and short and wear a 30F. Generally you’ll find you are in bras too big in the back, too small in the cup and the gape will be due to the bra being the wrong size. I highly recommend the panache 365 plunge- usually post weight loss you’ll have fuller in the bottom, emptier on top shape and these work really well. Use Boob or Bust or go to Bravissimo- you will feel the band is too tight initially as you aren’t used to it but it will stretch out really soon.

I was fitted really well in bravissimo (and they do virtual fittings). I also asked chatgpt for suggestions (!) And uploaded a photo of my chest in a bra that doesn't fit well and it suggested several brands that have been very good for my shape, including a polish brand I'd never heard of but is cheap and really comfy

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. Losing over 100lbs and keeping it off for two years is an incredible achievement, but I can understand why it feels bittersweet when your body doesn't look the way you hoped afterwards. A lot of bra fittings seem to focus on the size rather than the actual shape of your breasts, and it sounds like that's been the biggest problem. I know a couple of women who've had much better luck with independent lingerie shops where the fitters are used to dealing with softer tissue after weight loss or breastfeeding, rather than just measuring and bringing out standard sizes. Please don't think this is something wrong with your body, because it really isn't. Bodies change after children and major weight loss, and bras aren't made equally for every shape. I hope you find someone who really knows how to fit your shape because you deserve to feel comfortable and confident after everything you've achieved.

Although I haven’t had a dramatic weight loss, my boobs are similar to yours by the sounds of things. They went up 3 cup sizes when I was pg and breastfeeding and then went back down so they’re really ‘empty’. I’m perimenopausal now and sagging everywhere so they’ve got even worse in the last few years. I’m afraid I’ve given up on the idea of making them look sexy in a nice bra. I now wear crop tops and sports bras so they’ve look ok with clothes on. I absolutely hate them and avoid looking at them or thinking about them. I know that isn’t helpful, but that’s just how it is for me. I try to focus on the bits I like.

Your boobs have fed three children. Cut yourself and your boobs some slack.

Your husband clearly still appreciates them, even if you don't. For once, I think a man might be right about something.

I went to Pam at the Bolton Bra Shop and she was amazing.

She put me at a 34 back too without asking about any other bra sizes I've tried. The 32s were all too tight. I think its my lose skin. If the bands too tight it causes ripples.

She showed me how to put a bra on and get my boobs into the cups properly.

Feel much better in these bras.

Got 3 bras and feel so much better in them.

What a lovely update, I’m so glad you found bras that make you feel good!

I am going to have to go to see this Pam. Like you I have lost weight and am struggling to find a bra that works. All the online calculators give different results (some are frankly insane, BoB suggested a 30G; I know a 30 band would not even do up). I got utterly bamboozled by all the talk of roots and projection and the like on A Bra That Fits and feels even less able to understand what I am looking for from a bra having read it than I did before.

So lovely to find your last post having come across this thread whilst looking for bra info :)

Ot of interest what style works best?

You can get some sexy sports bras now, have a look online, I doubt they’re much good as actual sports bras but they might be more suited for you, I’m assuming they’re designed for insta types at the gym.

@66babe I'd love to hear where you go as I haven't found anywhere in that area!

So pleased to read that you found somewhere @Aiborlie! M&S are so bad they should be banned from selling bras. They had me in a 42DD, when I did Booob or Bust I was a 36HH. Never had such comfortable bras!

@petitpasta Dawn till Dusk .. on Facebook, absolutely fantastic
Bras , swimwear the lot

I got fitted at bravissimo and the staff were ever so helpful .I have got bras from M&S but would never get a bra fitting from them Bravissimo bras are wonderful. I'm glad you are now sorted. Great to hear of your weight loss well done indeed.

This happened to my aunt 20 years ago. Rigby and peller sorted her out.