OMG, I could actually cry.

[YouDontKnowBoutBenom]

Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

Oh what about those customs passport check cameras! Yikes ... It takes so long to decide it is happy with the angle that I've always just relaxed my "prettiest face look" into frustrated travel haggardness ... then BANG.

I'm terrified I'll go missing and the police will drag one out and circulate it as a missing person (with the double insult being if someone manages to recognise and locate me from it).

If you look hunched do you have back issues? Could you try some stretching exercises. Try and train your posture when walking. Head straight, shoulders back, stomach slightly sucked in. It makes a lot of difference to your silhouette and gradually helps your overall posture and strength I think. It becomes your natural way of moving.

Your clothes sound cool. And you arent overweight. Colour your hair and have it cut in a nice style with layers so it's low maintenance.

And don't worry about other people. They are much more bothered by their own looks than anyone else's.

Can anyone recommend a light foundation please? Preferably from a counter so I can go have someone colour match me.

Last time I did that was about 6 years ago nd it was the No7 one and was absolutely awful.

Can you ask AI? AI has been very good for my confidence as I tell it what I focus on about my looks and it tells me how other people actually see me. Today it told me I could pass for five foot eight (as it had no idea how tall I am) which is due to my long torso.

I hear you! All downhill from 40 for me!

Op I know what you mean. I’m mid 30s and was happy and fine with my appearance until literally last year. I seem to have aged in a burst - my eyes look smaller, my lips slightly thinner, my face texture and structure just looks a bit older with shadows around the 11s/jowl areas. My hair has thinned a bit and the texture is worse.

I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it though. I eat fairly well, drink water, use a good acid toner and moisturiser, never sunburn, blah blah.

It is a bit upsetting but I guess we can’t look the same forever.

Facially on them I look like Peter Mandelson (I'm female)

Sorry but 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I find Kosas do some nice ones, but I do like a very light coverage.

This is the right attitude.

And here I go yet again to recommend L’Oreal True Match Nude Plumping Serum. Despite the name it is a very light foundation and it is the loveliest flattering dewy (not shiny) finish. I put it on with a flat kabuki brush and I get so many compliments. And I’m 54!

https://www.boots.com/loreal-paris-true-match-nude-plumping-tinted-serum-1percent--hyaluronic-acid-10297635?affwin&utm_source=Redbrain+Ltd-176013&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=css&utm_term=&utm_content=&sv1=affiliate&sv_campaign_id=176013&awc=2041_1780346592_1647d6e4ac9b7262f3a2d225b7405f12

I’ve started wearing No7 city lights tinted moisturiser. I can’t get on with foundation they all feel like too much on my skin plus I have zero idea how to do shading, contouring and all that jazz, but this tinted moisturiser is just enough to even out my skin tone and disguise the ‘I havent slept properly in 12 years’ weariness.

That really made me laugh too

I was at a do not long ago. I was sent the pics by friends and family and in some I look really good (way way better than I do in real life) and some I look like a fat ugly pig. Its bizarre. We all had a laugh about it actually. Like how could that be the same person, same outfit.

I wouldn't overthink it at all. You know what you look like in the mirror. Your outfit sounds awesome by the way. I love leopard print with band t-shirts.

I still (obviously) have full sleeve tattoos so feel even more out of place in my frumpy mum clothes.

It's true beauty is in the eye of the beholder although it's undeniable there are women who photograph beautifully & are naturally exceptionally pretty.

If this has been your persona from a young age it's understandably harder to accept the older you. I look back at photos and think why didn't I appreciate myself more. Now I say to myself it's a privilege to get older & still look reasonably attractive.

No we’re not 😬

My great aunt had a phrase for this. It was "her angles are going."

I think meaning fewer good angles!

Best post ever. Laughing and chuckling.

Oh OP take no notice of a set of awful photos!!!!!!

I'm in my 60s and am ploughimg through stacks of family photos following my parents' death. I come across some where I think "Oh wow, I wish I'd realised how pretty I was" and others where I think "Fuck me, what a state!" The latter are actually quite cheering, because they make me feel I look better now. Which I probably don't, but still.

the point is that some photos come out fucked up.

Please don't fanny around with botox etc.

How lovely that your DH wanted to capture the moment. That's what counts. 💗

does your partner agree thou ??......i find i always look worse in photos so im betting you look lovely irl

Nothing makes my heart sink more than the cry of "selfie" when I am out with friends. All of us are well past the age of looking fabulous in random photos, I look as if I have been dead, buried and then exhumed. i used to be lovely, that's not me being vain, it was what people said and I have great photos from my youth which prove it. Something happens as time goes on, muscle tone goes, chins grow, hair changes colour and texture , weight goes on in odd places and falls off other odd places. God, I feel depressed thinking about it and then I think well I am still here, still upright, got all my teeth and my faculties, so sod it All those who are young and lovely today will have a shock a couple of decades down the line and realise that it is personality that counts as much as a pretty face

I use that, it is honestly one of the best things I have bought recently and one of the few make up things I would buy again. Sinks into my skin and gives it a sort of evened out glow

Please remember most men can't take photos of the women in their life for shit. Exception is if they are a professional photographer. Otherwise they are normally taking them from below to showcase your triple chin that you didn't know you had and down lit to make you look like the Wicked Witch of the West. This is my personal hell I'm describing but my dear friend was made to look like her own special brand of mountain goblin by her husband when he took some candid shots of her pushing the pram up a hill.

These photos exist in the same place in hell as the memories we have of seeing our full body in a badly lit changing room mirror.

🤭

I howled at this! used to work with a woman who looked like a female Boris Johnson, she was one of our psychiatric clinical leads and a fearsome person. Made me think that confidence was better than looks