OMG, I could actually cry.

[YouDontKnowBoutBenom]

Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

"special brand of mountain goblin", got tears of laughter running down my face at that and such a wonderful image in my head.

I know how you feel, husband took some photos of me out on a walk around christmas time and I looked horrendous. I was like a barrel, double chin, wrinkles, none of my clothes fit well, even my wellies were tight around my legs!

I looked back at photos and realised it gradually happened over 2 years. It's a combination of putting on weight (health problems and several losses in the last 2 years), growing out my fringe meant my haircut didn't suit me, and wearing clothes i don't like and didn't fit properly.

I tried eating healthy but nothing really changed, started doing the 30 day shred and I felt incredible within a week or 2, so much healthier and fitter, it also sorted my bad back out. All that is on pause currently as I'm pregnant but I feel like I'll know what to work on when I'm next ready to sort myself out! Maybe you could look back at photos of when you were happy with yourself and see what is different to what you're seeing in the recent photos so you can make some changes?

I bet you look absolutely fine.

But it is true that in our 40s a little more effort is required to keep up a standard of appearance. It's a choice not a requirement.

I have always been super low maintenance but at 48 realised I could no longer get away with this if I wanted to feel OK about how I look, so I do the following:

• be strict about wearing clothes that flatter me. No more baggy sweatshirts.
• Eat more protein and do some YouTube dumbbell workouts weekly, as well as cardio 2/3 times a week.
• Invest in decent moisturisers and use them.
• tint and thread my eyebrows occasionally
• Be more regular with haircuts and colour (i have super fine hair which can look bad and shapeless quickly)
• make more effort styling my terrible hair
• found the right make up products and started to use them more

It's a men's talent to take the most unflattering pictures...I always look horrendous!!
I am sure I don't look as bad ... 😭

Or on a Teams meeting.

Surely only designed by an evil mastermind nation to render me incapable of working effectively because I look like a potato and a boiled egg had a love child with 7 chins and no neck

Does anyone else find the most flattering mirror is the car wing mirror? In the mirrors in my house I look like I’m looking at myself in the back of a spoon, plus strangely orange and my hair brassy from the overhead warm lighting. In natural light I look so much better, less orangey and my face more defined.

Op my dh once took photos of me with the dcs at the zoo. I was so mortified by the shots that I did cry and hid them away in a drawer. I found those same photos twenty years later and when I saw them, I wished I still looked like that, bc the woman in those shots looked perfectly fine and I couldn’t for the life of me think what I objected to so strongly back then!

It’s a cliché but you will only ever be as young as you are now Op! You’re all good! Enjoy it! ❤️

Oh that's adorable, OP. Your lovely husband.

You are wearing clothes about 10 years too young and not particularly flattering ones at that - wide leg trousers can make legs look short and give the impression of being overweight. Have a look at more classic, fitted clothes, including dresses and skirts and tops - and M&S have wide-leg jeans tailored around the hips, with a high waist, much more flattering. It's your wardrobe that is ageing you.

My god some of the comments on here are just ridiculous..firstly this woman never said she looked big at 9 stone,it's other women that have said this..christ this is terrible when she obviously does not..shes a perfect weight ..she said she looks old/tired for her age..but then the recommendations of what to do to lose weight ..sorry ..absolutely crazy..OP maybe you just need a good holiday in the sun and take some new photos then..let hubby know 😂😂😂😂

DP will occasionally take a photo of me when I’m watching tv, or just out and about walking the dog with him…and I hate it!

I need time to smooth my hair, check my make up hasn’t gone for a walk across my face, and hitch my chin up. Funny thing is, he doesn’t see the photos as horrible, he really can’t see what’s wrong with them! 🤷‍♀️

I do feel your pain, OP, years ago I didn’t mind my picture being taken, and even the “surprise” pictures were fine… but the years sadly keep adding on and that’s what we see when we look at photos now.

I live by the sea and it’s often very windy…any photo taken on the seafront involves hair standing on end, or blown totally across the face. At least that covers my expression!🙂

Sweet Lord no no no. If I could rip my wing mirrors off and drive legally I would. Chinny McChin-face at that atrocious angle.

I am genuinely happy for you, very tempted to buy a new car solely for more flattering mirrors!

Check out Disturbia for clothing OP, I've always been a bit alternative/goth and I like their stuff. Also Last Exit To Nowhere has nice t shirts, I get the women's fit ones and they are a nice shape. I tuck it into wide leg jeans and I like the look but not all wide leg jeans fit the same. I really like Levis XL Straight and Uniqlo have good ones too

Also, a red lip perks up any look!

I'm a similar age and have experienced the same. My hair is thinning now (it's genetic) and I hate having pictures taken in bright light now, as it just looks so straggly. I also have a scar on my forehead from a surgery which is quite indented, and I'm very self conscious about it. I've spent a fortune on dermatologist procedures to try and help, but nothing has made a significant difference.

I used to like how I looked in pictures. Now it just makes me want to cry!

He must be a truly awful photographer 💩dont give up the day job.

I’d read that as eating healthy foods that would make me more vibrant, rather than thinner.

Male DPs are renowned for taking unattractive photos of us!
Remember though, when they do feel spurred on to take one, it's usually cos they're seeing something they love and think is beautiful.
x

Wait till you hit 65. The change is immense. My husband and I think we aged more quickly than ever before. Something to look forward to?

I’d like to offer up a different perspective having being where you are now.
It’s important that you don’t stop him taking your picture, My mam prohibited us from photos because she hated how she looked in them so when she passed away I had less than 10 pictures of her.
The photos my husband takes of me are truly terrible but I try and see them through his eyes instead of automatically going straight to oh I look bad, that’s really helped.

When I hit 40 everything went to shit, My hair, skin, my style and my identity, (Ive also lost a significant amount of weight) I had to rebuild from the ground up, I started looking after my skin (Korean skincare is the tits) and getting regular hair cuts to tidy up my hair while I’m growing the shaved parts out so I feel your pain!

I promise you that when your children look back at all the silly messy hair leopard trousers dog walking pictures they will just see their lovely mam, you got this 🤟🏻💜

Do Pilates for posture

My y vote is for L'Oréal True Match Serum Foundation. It's the only one that doesn't settle into fine lines around my eyes.

If you want something a little bit more coverage I like Maybelline Super Stay 30h Lumi-Matte Foundation.

I pair the Maybelline with L'Oréal Eyes Ultimate Eye Cream (which appears to be a regular eye gel mixed with foundation. It's the expensive one, not the cheap sparkly one, the latter does nothing for hiding my dark circles) so I needn't put the foundation near my eyes (where it would settle into my fine lines).

Bronzer (the Rimmel stripey powder one is my favourite) lightly dusted over chin, nose, cheeks and upper forehead, plus blusher (I used the Rimmel one with a bit of sparkle in it) across cheek bones and nose - both will warm your face up if your skin has paled with age and put some 3D back into your face if the foundation has made you look a bit flat.

Stress makes anyone look decades older overnight. Hope you can get rid of that soon.

It's tough but totally fixable

Diet is huge (I know you're not big)

Loads of veg, oily dish, good protein, good carbs. No crap. No sugar. Don't smoke, don't drink. Sleep. Masses of water

And keep walking the dog

You have lost more than 9 stone OP!!! (How long ago?) and you did it through diet alone?

So you can do this!! You know you have the determination to stick to something. Good luck @YouDontKnowBoutBenom

I have never not looked vile in every candid pic DP takes of me.

Bonus point with the height difference is that I get a bird’s eye of how awful I look.

I have very very few photos of my self because I thought I was fat and ugly. The ones I have show a completely different thing. It's so sad. What a waste of energy.