OMG, I could actually cry.

[YouDontKnowBoutBenom]

Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

This pp has form for a harsh comment or seven on other threads.

Just ignore

Because I honestly felt better about myself then.

That might not be a narrative you are comfortable with but it's the truth. I wouldn't go back there for health and mobility reasons but at 20st I had confidence that I don't have anymore.

Edited to apologise. Very lowball of me.

I shall not engage again.

She didn’t say that. If she was trying to say that then she used the wrong words.

You're a saint op.

I'm not going to get sweary here but a few of these later pps are giving me The Rage

Anyway back to crap lighting and bad angles and less about the nonsense from a few latecomers

🤣

I did have a look at some of the bits recommended and it just shows how long its been since I bought makeup, I looked at the Charlotte Tillbury prices and felt dizzy! What happened to £3 superdrug collection 2000 foundation 🤣

If it makes me look like I have a pulse though I will try it.

I know what it said.

She did end the comment by saying the OP should sort her hair out. Not before she told her that she would have looked very fat at 19st and everyone would have been thinking that. As I said, it was totally unnecessary.

Suck your stomach in and keep your shoulders back. All the time so it's a habit.
Do yoga.
Pay as much attention to the back view as the front.
Control your hair in the weather.
Above all, remember that the things you love in life are just as enjoyable regardless of what you look like. Views are as beautiful, the sun as bright, friends as much fun, music sounds as good, whether you look like a super model or a sack of spuds. So keep perspective because whether you look great or not really is a small part of life.

The op already sorted her hair out a few pages ago, just for the sake of accuracy here.

Also "it's been deleted" regarding the atrocious comment from a pp is in the passive voice "it broke MN talk guidelines because it was awful" is more accurate

Thankyou. I read this and it reminded me of that monologue in the song, Baz Luhrmann, everybodys free to wear sunscreen!

Wow I disagree, my cousins wife was always big, even in high school bit she was very naturally pretty and dressed to her size. She then lost more than half her weight through diet/exercise (this was 10yrs ago so no WLI) and has excess skin on her thighs, a boob job took care of the breast excess skin. And somehow she escaped the arm excess skin. I prefer her bigger tbh.

I hear you on the 💸

ELF have some good dupes and their formulations are fairly forgiving but even their version of a BB type cream is upwards of £15 😭

...derail, someone else posted about eyebrows and thyroid and stress, that's fascinating!

I thought my brows had just fucked off because 40 = ⛷️ (that's as in downhill, not skiing sadly)

Argh I feel this. I’m approaching 40, three kids, I’m suddenly really grey (and hate the thought of having to maintain dying my hair) and my hair generally just always looks a bit shit. My skin looks awful, I just look so tired. My teeth have yellowed. I look at photos and hardly recognise myself. I’ve always been slim, pretty, vivacious. Now I feel old and crap.

What’s the solution?? Better skincare?? Expensive haircut?? Colour analysis?? Anyway OP, you’re not alone.

The last bit was actually my light bulb moment. I'd paid a lot for an event and should have had the time of my life, but ended up spoiling it for myself because I'd noticed how cellulitey my legs looked in the toilet mirror. I mean..really.
Like that experience would have been even slightly different if I'd had smooth legs?
I just thought, you daft bat, what are you thinking? And trained myself from then on to concentrate on what was going on around me, because you don't have to look good to enjoy things.

For better value than Tilbury, I like Sculpted by Aimee. I think she has some stuff in Boots. I just tried the cream cushion foundation and its lovely to give a very subtle smoothing to make you look fresher but not made up. Its not Collection 2000 prices, but not too crazy compared with many premium brands, and they do blue light discount if you qualify. You can always get a colour match in a store, and then order online. Don't feel like you have to get the one they try and sell you, unless you really love it of course.

Otherwise, on the photos side, remember the candid photos of many celebs. Not from a critical perspective, like the paparazzi try to embarrass them. But to show everyone has angles that don't show them at their best. The 'real' side of instagram. The most beautiful models will have shots with double chins and wrinkles, particularly with no make up on. It doesn't mean anything, other than you are a real person. And one on a dog walk!! Not catwalk.

However, it sounds like you need more self care, in whatever way makes you feel better, to start to build your confidence back. If that means trying to take a little time for hair and skincare, exercising a little, or just a long bath occasionally, try to find some 'me' time. I hope you start feeling better about yourself again soon.

Tretinoin will lessen the vertical lines around the mouth over time.

Echo everyone else that you likely don’t look like these candid photos. I’m 44 and also wanted to say that after 42, there was a whole year of thinking I looked terrible (period of stress and other changes, pretty sure I really looked tired and haggard). But I feel now I again look nice, it wasnt even a big effort in dressing and eating better.
So could be a temporary thing too for you. If you try, you could see big improvements.

Ok I am hardly always little miss supermodel but here are my easy fixes:

1. Book a hair appointment and get your hair sorted if you can afford it.
2. Make sure you're wearing a well fitted, flattering bra.
3. Do pilates. If you can't afford a class time or money wise, do 20 minute youtube pilates videoes as close to every day as you can.

You'll notice a posture difference almost straight away. I got in a similar sort of slump recently and am clawing myself out of it!

Proper teeth whitening from a dentist is about £300. I would do it if I had it spare.

Do you have any particular Pilates videos you would recommend? :)

I like a clean cotton pillowcase every night as I dribble in my sleep. (How elegant!) and I share the bed with a German Shepherd… I will look into tretinoin, thank you. Couldn’t do the mask as I can’t bear anything over my face.