What are the unwritten style rules?

[frumpydump]

I am, largely, a very unstylish person. I pick comfort over everything.
I would love to look a little more put together and fashionable day to day. What are the unwritten style rules i’m missing out on?

I love your dress.

I recommend having a listen to How To Find Your Personal Style

People can be very attached to their own style, and quick to give you advice based on what they personally like, without actually grasping that their taste isn’t necessarily a global standard.

Being confident helps massively.

I can’t bear no earrings at all (I’ve a bit of a complex about naked ears! ) but I only wear very understated stud earrings if I wear a necklace. If I wear more elaborate earrings, definitely no necklace. One or the other should be the focus, both is far too busy.

I also dont wear a necklace with a top with an elaborate or ornamented neckline. Again, far too busy.

i like to mix textures. Natural materials. Silk, wool, cotton, linen, denim, cashmere. I like V necks - to elongate the neck. Good accessories always elevate an outfit. I collect silk scarves, good sunglasses, interesting earrings and keeper handbags. I opt for classic and timeless shoes and boots.

I think there are a few basic style rules like not having baggy or tight things on both the top and bottom and how colour sandwiching can make you look more put together but TBH the people Ive admired the most from a style pov are usually the people who throw all the rules out the window!
I think having confidence and joy in your style makes you look ten times better, even if you are dressed as an Edwardian dandy! It kinda says 'I love my clothes and I love myself' and that is very attractive!😄

The women I think of as put together are ones who are well groomed (hair clean and good cut), flattering clothes (so not slouchy joggers), clean shoes, make up that enhances without being obvious, and a confident manner. They could be wearing any style (not atheleisure): boho, classic, whatever, but the basics are relevant to all.

I complete agree.

For example, I love Pru Leith's sense of style even though I would never ever wear anything like that myself!

OP - firstly, great news on the weight loss, I hope you’re very proud.
ive struggled with finding the right style for me. I’m now almost at a point where I feel like I know what I’m doing.
what I’ve done:
✔️ figured out which colours look best on me (for me, this is deep colours like burgundy, dark green, navy, teal, charcoal etc)

come to the conclusion (via trial and error) that patterns don’t really work for me - not sure why. Some people can wear patterns and look fabulous but sadly not me

when I’ve found something that works (for me, this is wide leg trousers) I stick to it as a sort of uniform, buying them in different colours etc

i also have wide feet and found Skechers (not just trainers but also their shoes) to be good

buy a couple of bags I really love, in “my colours” so I feel like everything goes together

I think there are style guidelines rather than rules. A lot of stylish people have worked out:

1. What fits your personal style - what feels like you. This is the most important.

1. What different clothes look like on your body - shape, combination, fabric.

1. What colours suit you - combination, pattern, texture.

Things can suit, "flatter" in 2 & 3, but might not be your personal style, 1.

The advice to replicate something you like is great.

I think 'On Trend' and 'Stylish' can sometimes be very different things. There are many things that have been on trend which do not suit my body shape or size and therefore don't look remotely stylish. For example, barrel leg jeans are not for me but look great on others. Peplum tops also not for me but can look great on others.

Bravissimo fit over the phone or via video call as well as in store. They are fantastic at telling your size by eye and using the fit of your existing bra. You can book through their website, I did this (too embarrassed to be measured in person) and the bra they recommended fits brilliantly but also gives me nice lifted perky breasts

I wouldn’t talk about rules in general.

The rules I apply to myself are: good haircut, natural makeup, short nails, leather handbags and shoes, straight or slightly wide trousers, no prints apart from polka dots, lots of navy and black.

What a shame that having asked for advice and asked people not to be mean about your choice of dress, you decided to go on someone else's thread and be really fucking nasty about her lovely skirt.

Not cool @frumpydump

People calling me fat is hardly the same as me calling a skirt ugly!

Nobody on this thread called you fat. You took unwarranted umbrage at an innocuous post saying the dress was OK but needed a slip and at a comment that being slim and confident helps.

The latter post isn't particularly helpful but did not call you fat.

I've never had a bra fitting - you can go and try on a load of slightly different sizes and see how they look. I find the Amelia in M&S is my favourite and gives a good shape

I agree. I can't understand why people can't work out what they like and think looks good on them and just wear it. Some of the "rules" I read about on here sound like they've come directly from the 1950s or earlier. There really are no "rules". (and yes, I live in linen in the summer and couldn't care less how creased it gets!)

Natural fibres look much nicer than synthetics - not a rule, they just do - plus they are more comfortable to wear, and don't leach micro plastics into the oceans when washed.

Show your legs or cleavage but not both at once. Pick the top or bottom half, basically.

Never wear stilettos with jeans.

Don't wear tights with open-toed shoes, as it makes you look as if you have webbed feet.

Former Paris resident here. I’m sorry but l really don’t think the bracelet/earrings thing is true. I also read (incorrectly) that the French never wear multiple earrings. They must have some of the most multiple piercings in mainland Europe.

Being slim does help clothes to look good. I’m not btw, but I have aspirations 🤣

Good haircut, well cut nails (not massive great long things). Natural, simple.

OP I love your dress. Looks lovely.

I’be genuinely never had as many compliments on what I’m wearing than when I wore that dress over the last two days (shameful outfit repeat I know!), it was insane. Random people stopped me as I walked to work!

Enjoy the compliments. it’s lovely when that happens. Since learning I’m an ‘autumn pear’ and dressing for my shape and colour palette, I get far more compliments, compared to almost non-previously. (Middle aged, Size 12-14 on top, size 18 waist, so no young skinny supermodel). I’ve also got more adventurous in what I wear, and actually like trying out new clothes, as I know better what suits me.

I think some people have a natural sense of style, others have to be taught (me included).

It’s so nice.

I’m now on the hunt for some more empire waist dresses (and happen to be making one!), because I think they flatter me